Marriage and Money

[caouette_007]

How do you handle finances?

[Kayjc]

Together works for us. We married 26 years ago at age 23 when neither of us had anything and we built a life together. I can imagine situations where it would be important to keep finances separate -- for example, if one spouse has obligations to children from a previous marriage -- but otherwise I think it's good if a couple can see themselves as a team and work together on finances and everything else.

[radi8]

Together. We've had separate accounts in the past but it was just more of a hassle than anything else.

All of our income goes into one account. From that we pay the household bills and expenses.

From what's left over, part goes to savings.

The rest we share for stuff we want to do.

[Athena53]

This is a second marriage for both of us. My first husband spent everything he made and more, and maxed out his credit cards. I kept my finances separate as a matter of self-defense. My current husband is a dear man who is much more frugal, but I brought the bulk of the assets into the marriage. I also enjoy managing finances and investments and he doesn't, and I'm a bit of a control freak.

 

I pay almost all the expenses out of my income since he's semi-retired. He gets Social Security and income from a small business and he does whatever he wants with that money. Every once in awhile he gives me the excess to invest. In general he knows what we're invested in, but doesn't care about the details.

 

Everyone should have at least some assets not in a joint account. If one partner on a joint account dies suddenly, the account is "frozen" by the courts and you have to jump through some hoops to get money out of it.

 

This works very well for us. I know some people think that separate finances are a sign of disaster in a marriage, but I heartily disagree.

[Lemonade]

Together. I manage all the money, so it's easier this way. We still have some old CC accounts in separate names, but those cards are barely used.

[GEORGE]

I PAY ALL THE BILLS FROM A JOINT CHECKING

 

BOTH CHECKS ARE DIRECT DEPOSITED

 

SHE HAS A "TOY" CHECKING ACCOUNT (ONLY IF NEEDED)

 

99%+ GOES ON AMEX DELTA and/or UNITED VISA

 

HER BACK-UP CARD IS CAPITAL ONE M/C

 

CREDIT CARDS...

 

A COUPLE "JOINT"

 

MOST INDIVIDUAL WITH "AU"

 

A COUPLE OF INDIVIDUAL

Edited December 25, 2005 by GEORGE

[blackberry74]

We have both joint & individual accounts. At some point we'll probably eliminate the individual accounts, but I don't know when. As long as there are no secret accounts and all obligations are taken care of, it doesn't matter IMO.

[GEORGE]

We have both joint & individual accounts. At some point we'll probably eliminate the individual accounts, but I don't know when. As long as there are no secret accounts and all obligations are taken care of, it doesn't matter IMO.

OH NO SHE HAS SOME SECRET ACCOUNTS I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT!!!

 

Edited December 25, 2005 by GEORGE

[hegemony]

I'd be curious to hear if the joint/seperate varies based on whether or not both spouse's are employed fulltime.

[radi8]

I'd be curious to hear if the joint/seperate varies based on whether or not both spouse's are employed fulltime.

 

Joint accounts, both employed full time.

 

 

And no extra post for you.

[hegemony]

Joint accounts, both employed full time.

 

 

And no extra post for you.

we're joint too and both employed fulltime. I generally deal with the bills but we make investment choices together.

 

(and you better type faster )

[blackberry74]

I'd be curious to hear if the joint/seperate varies based on whether or not both spouse's are employed fulltime.

 

We're both employed full-time.

 

LOL @ George

[shop_free]

DH employed Full Time..I'm currently in school Full Time no employment.

I'm AU on his cards he's not on mine.

Only reason I'm AU on his is if there's a problem I can call and talk to them.

We have one bank account with both of our names and I have 2 or 3 accounts that's just mine (not much money in them yet thoug .

[shop_free]

DH employed Full Time..I'm currently in school Full Time no employment.

I'm AU on his cards he's not on mine.

Only reason I'm AU on his is if there's a problem I can call and talk to them.

We have one bank account with both of our names and I have 2 or 3 accounts that's just mine (not much money in them yet though .

[tootie357]

not that there is any significance but most of the couples i know that separate everything are either on the verge of getting a divorce or have already been divorced. one couple i know... they are so daggon unhappy and they are still together. when the wife told me her husband owed her $2500 i was floored. i was like umph umph umph. anyhoot.

[Parrothead104]

We do the joint thing & both full time..

 

Both checks direct deposit & I pay the bills.. We each have an allotment of $50/pay period going to savings account & an additional allotment going to our TSP, mine is $100/pay period, DH's $75/pay period..

 

We did separate accounts when we first got married since we both had accounts established at different military credit unions.. We went joint when we ETS'd in '98 and had opened some joint credit accounts together..

 

Whatever is left, well, that used to be fun money

 

Of course, come May '06, the xtra will go to diapers/daycare & the like

[Parrothead104]

not that there is any significance but most of the couples i know that separate everything are either on the verge of getting a divorce or have already been divorced. one couple i know... they are so daggon unhappy and they are still together. when the wife told me her husband owed her $2500 i was floored. i was like umph umph umph. anyhoot.

 

 

Uugghhhhhh... I can't stand hearing stories like that.. I have a friend who was married to a man like that.. They had separate accounts and if he gave her any money at all, he wrote it down in a book.. She told me at one point that she owed her husband over $3K.. I was astonished

 

Needless to say, they were divorced about 6 months later.. I have no clue if she ever "paid him back".. I sure would have

[BrwnEyedGirl]

Married almost 15 years.

 

We have joint for bills. I have a separate account for my business. We both have direct deposit.

 

I do all the bills.

 

He is active duty.

 

I am now part time military(was active duty), I also work part time(self employed) and next month will be in grad school.

Edited December 26, 2005 by SDMuse

[radi8]

not that there is any significance but most of the couples i know that separate everything are either on the verge of getting a divorce or have already been divorced.

 

 

I bet that the second- already been divorced is a big reason for separate accounts. Particularly if the spouse had been financially buried by their first marriage. Round #2 they want a little bit of protection.

[54regcab]

I'm a firm beliver in having everything joint. The only thing we have separate are out 401k's and IRA's because it's required by law. When the preacher says "and now you are one" this should include finances IMHO. The story about "oweing" your spouse money is rediculous...

Before we were married we had separate accounts and it was a PITA to keep track of who was paying for what. After we got married and combined finances it was MUCH easier !!! i don't understand how people who have kids together keep thier money separate, "You pay for diapers, I'll buy the food" would get old REAL quick.

 

BTW:

1: Been together since 4/2002 (married 4/2003)

2: Both work full time until we have kids

3: We were both broke and in debt when we got married

[zx10 guy]

This thread seems eriely familiar to the prenup thread posted a while ago. I'm not married yet but have thought long and hard about this issue along with pre-marital assets. It's not easy when every person you date has by far substantially lower assets and income earning than you do. Most people I've seen here that have their finances seemed to have started at the same economic level. Which makes things really easy when you accumulate them together. I don't see many cases where people who have had either spouse with substantially higher assets or income earnings be so quick to share the finances. In my case, how do you reconcile the risk factor of about $650k in assets?

[54regcab]

zx10, the best thing I can think of is make sure the woman you marry will be a lifetime commitment. If you have to date for a long time before you are 100% sure, so be it. Still, I understand why you would be cautious...

[pinkwidow]

As a widow now I come from a different point of view.

 

My husband and I always had seperate finances, both employed fulltime though he made a bit more then I.

 

 

When he died I was VERY thankful we choose to do our financial life seperately.

 

For what it is worth we were NOT on the verge of a divorce, we loved each other very much, I was just too independant to make our finances joint and now I am glad I stood my ground..the headaches that widows/ers face when finances are joint are too numerous to mention.

[Athena53]

I don't see many cases where people who have had either spouse with substantially higher assets or income earnings be so quick to share the finances. In my case, how do you reconcile the risk factor of about $650k in assets?

 

My situation was similar to yours. First, my husband and I met in a theology class a year before my divorce so we got to know each other as friends before he even knew what I made or what I had. We also dated for 6 years- I never wanted to date anyone else but needed some breathing space after a bad first marriage. He never accumulated much because in his life he'd had a daughter who was chronically ill with a lot of uninsured asthma expenses, a 1+-year period of unemployment during which he paid child support, and a previous relationship with a woman who needed to be bailed out of occasional financial mistakes. But, he had zero debt other than his mortgage and had simple tastes. So, I knew how he handled money and what his attitudes were about it. I didn't get a pre-nup although I'm sure he would have signed a reasonable one. I'm happy to say, 2 1/2 years into the marriage, my instincts have proven me right. He loves the things we're able to do, especially the travel, but if it all went away tomorrow I think it would bother me more than it would bother him.

[GEORGE]

SOME "JOINT"

 

SOME "INDIVIDUAL"

 

SOME "AU"

 

WORKS FOR US...

 

100% "JOINT" HURTS F.I.C.O. AT TIMES (BOTH OF YOU)

 

EVEN "AU" HURTS F.I.C.O. AT TIMES (BOTH OF YOU)

Edited December 26, 2005 by GEORGE