Nursing Home? Assisted Living? What about a alternative?

[Jen23514]

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/retire.asp

 

My grandmother LOVES sending me those email FWs. I get at least 3-5 a day. Once in awhile I'll go to snopes to send it back to her so we can chuckle and I'm always trying to convince her that she will not die if she does not FW them. She doesn't want to risk it

 

She sent me this email, and she and I had a good laugh over it.

 

No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way to live when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:

 

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

 

2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

 

 

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

 

There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

 

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too! TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

 

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

 

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my email to me at Holiday Inn.

 

Author Unknown

[Saturngoddess]

That is funny. Actually, I heard someone say the same thing, but they were talking about using a cruise as their place to be. :-)

[InsultComicDog]

It's a cute idea. But it's probably still cheaper to live in an apartment building (or condo or co-op) that has lots of amenities available on site, to be paid for as needed.

[bakerman]

Well there are a few elderly ladies who reside on cruise ships, one on Cunard and one on Princess, if I am not mistaken. These options would work if you are in good health and have managed to keep your marbles. People don't usually move in to nursing homes because they are a cheaper alternative to living on their own, but because they need special care, things you will not find in a hotel or on a cruise ship!

 

I love when people send me these e-mails they make me chuckle and go to snopes to check out the validity!

 

MAC