marci

Dan, I just re-read your post and I think I understand what you're getting at re doing things in anticipation of a court decision. If I got my mom to agree to open a savings account at a new bank, which would make me the beneficiary payable on death - how soon "in advance" of a legal filing would be considered safe (i.e. not to raise the court's interest)? Is six months long enough to establish a financial choice not having anything to do with the settlement? Or are they looking for a year? I'll meet with a FP to find out trust options.

Thanks to all, for the great advice. This group must be the best that exists on the net. Sounds great. Yes, I'm a long time fan of support groups, though some of my mom's fundamental issues need to be addressed in a one on one setting for now. Thankfully, our counselor is part of a practice that has a free OCD support group (though I don't know how much like "12 steps" is). I looked up Debtor's Anonymous. Maybe they'll have a support group in our city. If so, I'll encourage her to get involved in that one. I appreciate everyone's comments! It's good to "see" all of you again.

It helps to know this. Thanks so much. Yes, the suggestion to get off the accounts but keep online access is a good balance. Best,

Hi all, Thanks for the replies offering support. I appreciate all of them. We are not a community property state, but judges here often award the spouse with the least assets some money to compensate for the financial and emotional investment that they have placed in the marriage. The discretion exists to protect the uneducated housewives with 4 kids when their executive husbands leave them for the secretaries. I don't have a problem with that type of ruling; it's just odd to see it work the other way around. No, if my mom divorces, she will not get out scot free financially. I do have medical power of attorney, though I don't know - short of actually being listed on her bank accounts - how to make sure I have financial power of attorney. This is what I want. To make it so that her husband cannot run through her cash, period. Note to all: here's a lesson; if you're going to do blended family marriage, PLEASE, PLEASE get a pre-nup first. The honor's mine. Do me a favor, Sarge. Stay safe and come back home soon. OK? Thanks,

Yes, the checks are paid, but the accounts often stay in the red for 2+ weeks, which I think is grounds for having the accounts forcibly closed. They asked for my social and ran a Chex background on me prior to allowing me to be added, so I think there is a high chance that I'll get put on Chex (if i haven't already). This actually makes a lot of sense, which I hadn't even thought of. My mom is not so devious (or computer saavy) as to lock me out of her online account access, if I set it up for her. I'll bring this up to her and see what she says. Even still - if I leave her on the accounts alone, there still is the issue of her assets and her marriage issues. Yes, she spends like crazy but she still has a decent amount of money that could be taken in a settlement, even though my state is not a community property state.

The problem is - and I think almost all children can testify to this - I could sacrifice what I have already done 10 times over, and still not come close to matching her sacrifice for me. I guess I want to know if the roles were reversed, would she do it for me? And if yes, (which I believe it is), there's no reason I shouldn't do it for her. But I still feel uneasy about it and wanted to know if anyone else on this board has been through similar circumstances. Thanks,

Hi all, As many of the older c'boarders know, I've had my share of credit problems due to my own misuse of money. My credit is great now, though I admit to a continued struggle to live below my means. Eighteen months ago, my mom was having severe marriage problems and she made me joint on her checking accounts. The idea was that in the event of a death, incapacitation, or divorce her husband would not have easy access to her money. I agreed to come on as a secondary, for that reason, but also to help her keep tabs on her own budgeting, since I can pull her transactions from the internet. My mom is a compulsive shopper, and spends anywhere from $500 - $3300 a month on things. Her income is $50,000 a year. Things have gotten worse with the continuing marriage problems, with upwards of 10 bounced checks on our joint account per month (all her money, but my name). I know this is probably going on my Chexsystems records. I told her that, and she asked me to remove myself from her accounts, but I chose not to because I wanted to set up some type of personal accountabilty wrt her spending. She just started counseling for the compulsive behavior, and although the counselor knows I am joint on her accounts and can see the spending trends, the counselor does NOT know how the Chexsystems issues can affect me. I don't want to guilt trip and shame my mom anymore than she is shamed now. Am I right? Should I remain on the accounts? My mom said sincerely that the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt my credit, and I love her for saying that. But I also love her, and want her to get better. And I don't want to leave her to do that by herself. I think it would help if I stayed on the accounts just so that we can deal with her problem with accountability (and grace). What would you do? Thanks,

Hey Sassy! Good to see you! --- Well... Finally, after my hot water kitchen sink line sprung a leak on Sunday and my BRAND NEW hot water heater's pop off drain ran hot from excess pressure on yesterday, I bought and installed two water pressure regulators in series. A 90psi followed by a 50psi. $275 buckaroos. If this doesn't do it, I don't know what will.

Hi all, I have owned my home for 15 months. I often get pre-approvals for home equity lines of credit, but I have not applied. What's the point of getting these? Should I wait until I actually need one, or should I get one now (preferably w/o closing costs) and just let it sit empty? Explain, please? Thanks,

Toyota Corolla.

Breeze, I'm ready to try anything. A few nights ago, my shower turned on by itself. I checked my pressure. It was 120psi. :shock: My neighbor was kind enough to turn down the main valve to 3/4 shut off. That finally gave me "normal" pressure. It's time to buy a new water pressure regulator and give the water company a piece of my mind.

LOL! Hey, do you mind teaching me that trick??

Fla-tan, Do you know the specific lenders who will reconsolidate Direct Loans consolidated loans? Thanks,

rotflol!

Thanks for the replies. I have been seriously thinking of installing an additional water pressure regulator to create a series. The problem with installing a safety pressure relief valve *before* the hot water heater is that I have no where to get it to drain. I am in a townhouse (attached on both sides) so my working space is highly limited. After installing the thermal expansion tank, the plumbers checked my water pressure, and it was 62 psi. An hour later (after they left, of course) it was 85 psi. This, at 5pm in the afternoon. :shock: