Money Management and Relationships

[bee bee]

Money management and relationships are hard to intertwine. I think this pertains various relationships, even beyond SO/spouses. I say this because I did not learn effective money management skills from my parents growing up; well, maybe I should correct that in saying I learned from a lot of their money mismanagement mistakes. In turn, I still made quite a few of my own and have recovered to some degree but I have found my mind state on the subject of MM and investments still need training. Nevertheless, here are some common issues I have dealt with or am concerned about when it comes to MM/Relationships.

 

1. Parental Care

My father and step-father both have great jobs, with good benefits and overall do not have much to work about. However, one of them made an irrational decision and unwisely used a portion of their retirement savings on an unsuccessful investment. So that is a setback but not as harsh as my mother. She was a homemaker her entire life. She only held a job as a teenager. While she is covered through her husbands benefit package, I am concerned for her when retirement time nears. What if she requires long-term care at some point. How is that to be handled. I have mentioned that maybe she work PT (at a place that offer benefits), or pick up a trade in school and work PT; she has disregarded both of those ideas. Honestly, I would not be able to support at any level financially if she needed the help today.

 

2. SO but not spouse

This is a large issue due to planning for an indefinite future, if you will. We live separately but have provided for one another substantially at one point or another. While we *plan a lifetime* together, do we jeopordize our future by making self decisions today by not maximizing opportunities such as joint wealth building, debt paydown, job-based relocations, etc... We have not exactly gotten on the same page of what we agree on in terms of MM and Investment. For a while, I handled most of the MM for both of us, as of recently we have kept everything separate. I guess my overall concern is it too late to wait til marriage to start "that plan".

 

3. Children

I have not had kids but would expect to within the next 5 years. Now that may seem long to one person, but I feel that time is rapidly approaching. Futhermore, that 5 year time frame is simply a guestimate. While I understand I could not invest in 529 plans or insurance at this point; what else could I be doing to prepare for the inevitable. Adoption is also not off the radar as an option to expand my family.

 

4. Continuing Education

SO and I both want to continue our education. Now the costs for me return back to school would be higher as I currently have SL's and I do not expect to qualify for anything beyond standard fin aid. He on the otherhand qualifies for several programs that will help to reduce if not eliminate his educational costs. Does it make sense to stagger our CE efforts? I also thought that I may benefit by pursuing a joint professional degree around the time a family expansion would be planned. Does that make sense?

[54regcab]

It is tough to be in a "1/2 commited" relationship. Why aren't you biting the bullet and gettign married?