and we are now living in a 70's rental
There are thousands, if not tens of thousands of people right now that would love to have a rented roof over their head.
With a bit of focus and the helpful people over on the credit forum, you could be debt free in a year or two and then be ready to buy yourself a home.
In a year OR two? Beside the fact that I can't come up with that kind of money even in a year or two means the ONLY way for it to happen is to break the lease with my tenants and put our house on the market AND if the tenants bail, move back into my house (since I can't afford a mortgage and rent) WHILE trying to sell my house, take that money we make from the sale and pay the bills and HOPE by that point the scores are high enough to get approved so I can then MOVE BACK here and buy a house. Otherwise, there's NO HOPE of getting these old debts paid.
Well, this sounds fun! I just wish they'd transfer my husband back so we could move home and be done and I wouldn't have to worry about all of this (right now). I could slowly rebuild our credit over time and if wouldn't be taking this emotional toll on me daily.
While you state that some people would love to have a place to rent, that doesn't make me feel better at all. I worked hard for a LONG time only to have it all stripped away. So, sorry if I don't want to celebrate living in this old house that doesn't fit our family's needs at all.
And I know I'm sounding snarky, it's just I'm feeling SO trapped and helpless. I thought I had just spent a year working on this only to find out there's no way anytime soon I'll be able to buy anything. It's quite a blow.
I hear exactly what you're saying! I was right there myself! We went through the whole thing. Husband getting laid off with a child on the way, neither of us being able to find work, zero income, bills piling up, an uncertain future (what a desperate feeling!!!), all of us having to move in with my sister (which was NOT a pleasant experience but thankfully we had that option!), making daily decisions about whether to pay the car payment or health insurance or groceries. My husband eventually found some menial job about ten pay grades below his former job just to pay the most basic bills (and that's LITERALLY all it paid). It was NOT a fun experience and I have a hard time even thinking back to that year of our lives (and thankfully it was only a year). We went from having everything we could ever want to having nothing. What an eye-opener. And, yes, our credit suffered for it in a huge way.
I hear what you're saying about not wanting to hear how good you have it vs. how bad it COULD be (and unfortunately, yes it could get worse and does for a lot of people - even at our worst, we still had it better than soooo many people in the world and I tried not to ever lose sight of that). But, all you want right now is a way out. It's the most trapped (perfect word!), horrible feeling in the world. But, what kept me going was the idea that I knew that our lives were not going to stay like that forever. And they haven't - we both have great jobs now and things are looking up. Granted, we now live in a TINY place (much too small for our needs and I mean MUCH) and we need to buy something soon, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully you can too. Sometimes it's just a matter of forming (and sometimes re-forming) your plan to get there and trying not to get too overwhelmed at the big picture. In other words, this too shall pass.
Specifically to your situation, would it be possible to enter into some payment plans with your bills while you search for a place? Three months may be what it takes to find the right place anyway.
I know this was a huge blow to you, but even this can get worked out and worked around. Just keep remembering that it's not going to be this way forever and, one day, your kids will realize the sacrifices that you made and maybe it will help them to realize that you can get through even the hardest situations and be better for it in the end.
By the way, I hope I don't sound too cheerful - I know that's not what you need right now! Lol. Just remember that there are thousands of us right where you were and are and worse. You're not in it alone and you won't be here forever.