When #1 was... 6, and #2 was 4, The h and I decided to take a cruise. It was super convenient, his parents would watch the girls, and they live in Miami, and we found a great rate kind of last minute (ie, too late to cancel anything).
I was incredibly excited, because it was sort of our first Weekend away without the kids.
Two weeks before Cruise Day, I realize.... I'm nauseous. And Late.
Sure enough. Pregnant.
Which irritated me, because I *don't* like being pregnant, and I was really stoked to be done with babies.
And, remember, we can't freaking cancel without losing our money. So we go anyway. How bad could it be, right?
Apparently I completely forgot that I'm a psychotic, unreasonable, unpleasant pregnant chick.
Who was stuck on a giant boat, that sailed out in a cold front with giant waves rocking the damn boat so badly the stewards were holding handrails for dear life.
I was pizazzing, because for weeks I'd been looking forward to a weekend of nothing but drinking fruity things, and.... I couldnt even eat. All that free food? I spent the weekend eating bread.
The highlight for the H, truly, was probably when we tried to go sea kayaking.
I had been canoeing a few times, and thought kayaking would be fun. I mean, I know it's in the ocean, but it's the Bahamas. How bad could it be?
So we meet the group, and sit through the lecture about how to use the paddles, safety, blah blah. I'm sure this doesn't pertain to me, because hello, I'm practically an expert canoeist.
Meanwhile, I'm busy being pissy because I wanted a coke, and forgot to get one, and H wouldn't walk out of the lecture to find one. Rude.
We set off, and I'm already not speaking to H. I was really thirsty.
We start kayaking as a group, and theres two older women in a kayak together, but they're dumb. They're kayaking in circles. I'm temporarily appeased by knowing how awesome I am compared to them.
Then we head out into open water.
And mother of god, sea kayaking? Not really the same as canoeing down a gentle river.
We're heading over to some other island, and we get about half way, and I quit. The H was trying to tell me - the Expert - how to kayak, and I was not having it. I told him since HE was the expert, he could just do it himself. So I sat there, paddle across my lap, in the kayak, while this guy who has canoed ONCE has to paddle my pregnant, crazy azz to some random island in the Atlantic ocean.
We made it, last in our group. Circling old ladies? They beat us.
I refused to paddle back as well. I was pissed at how poorly he was kayaking.
We FINALLY make it back - last - and find out that while I was pouting and H was dying, other people saw sharks and eels and all types of fun things. That really set me off again.
We decided to head back to the ship (also pissed me off, I still forgot my coke, AND I missed lunch), and call it a day (at 1pm).
That's just about when I realized I forgot to use sunscreen on my very, very white legs.
The next day, in Nassau, I was on a mission to hunt down some conch fritters. But not just ANY conch fritters. Ones that I read about in some random review on Trip Advisor. We have to wall, because I forgot to bring the name of the restaurant, or the directions.
So we walk. Except, my legs are SO sunburnt, it literally hurts to move them. But I'm really committed to these conch fritters - it's the only food in two days that's sounded good. I wasn't walking off Nassau without them.
All I recall from the directions, is go right, and it's a bit of a walk, you'll pass this hotel, and that beach, and it'll be on the right.
I have no idea if it was the right place, but I found some conch fritters and they were delicious.
The end. I was pleasant the rest of the trip (all 12 hours).