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Ineligible entries - Gourmet food contest
Posted 13 June 2008 - 06:04 PM
Because I want to see, in real life, a grown woman who sicks her cat on other, farts clouds, and maintains a human, heterosexual relationship.. I also want to see the human face variation of the that I see so often. I wonder - if you say something, does she actually have a windowlicker facial expression for a while? I'm dying to know. I'd also like to meet the cat who has lived through the fart clouds and the boyfriend who made through the mason jars.
What would I feed her?
We're having borsch for the first course. I may wear poms poms while I serve. It's cabbage soup and that should appeal to her gassy side. I'll even add beans.
For seconds we're having "herring in fur coat". This (shuba in russian) consists of layers of pickled herring, potatoes, carrots, onions, beets, and a layer of mayonnaise on top. (How else am I gonna get a reaction equivalent to .... I'll attach below a picture, lest you underestimate the true horror. Yep, that purple stuff is beet infused mayo. Lots of it. What is she gonna say no?! - I'm making her dinner..
This will likely also clear out her digestive tract the most natural way possible, (I don't want to sit through clouds of gas ALL through dinner) and from there we'll move onto desert. I'm thinking Napoleon cake. It's thin pastry layers filled with a mixture of cream and cognac. I'm gonna double the cognac for her side, to help her get over the herring and help seal the deal on that wedding dress that I'm gonna inherit, cut off, dye red and party in.
Thank you.. Academy, God, and you all for letting me do this.
Edited by SnorkMaiden, 13 June 2008 - 06:07 PM.
Posted 13 June 2008 - 06:53 PM
Neen did not judge me, she did not look down on me, she did not get tired of ALL of my questions; she was there for everything. There were times when I did not know who I should/could turn to but when I PM'd her, she always answered me and gave me an answer in which helped me get past the issue I was facing. Sometimes the answer in which she gave me was not the one I wanted to hear, but after I gave it thought, it was quite obvious that she was trying to help me and keep me on the right track.
I can not name a certain dinner that I would serve her because she deserves nothing but the best. If she wanted caviar it would be there for her, if she wanted a burger and fries, it would be there for her... but if I know Neen, she would go for the simplest of things and not want anything extravagant and that is how she is; of course she would like to have a good dinner, but in her eyes, as long as everybody is happy, so is she.
Thank you Neen for everything you have helped me with!
Posted 14 June 2008 - 06:23 PM
As she's one of the best cooks on the board I'd lay out ingredients for her to cook. For an appetizer we'd have Smoked Salmon with Peppercorn Crust and Tarragon Mustard. Tarragon would be, of course, fresh from my garden. Mustard will be from Hlburi's shirt.
For the main course we'd have Tequila Lime Chicken. Hlburi would wear her sombrero as she cooked and I'd not let her have the rest of the bottle of Tequila until the chicken is cooked. I am not afraid to use force and I think she knows that.
As a dessert she'd make a VooDoo dessert Fondue. We'll dip things like strawberries and bananas in chocolate. Wait, I'll do that and Hlburi will dip hers in mustard. VooDoo Lou will oversee the festivites.
Hlburi will, of course, be in charge of wine selections. She will bring all the wine as she has copious amounts at her house so shopping isn't an issue.
After we're done we'll take a quick trip through the car wash.
Posted 14 June 2008 - 08:59 PM
Please everyone Do Not Drink and Drive. It is not worth it. I am 35 years old and very often wonder what my Grandfather was like and who he would have become had he not been robbed of his life at such a young age.
Posted 14 June 2008 - 09:32 PM
Posted 16 June 2008 - 03:43 PM
1 - Is he secretly scared of "The Cat"?
2 - Is he secretly scared of OC?
3 - Is he jealous of The Cat's bunghole-licking abilities?
4 - How many pairs of shoes does OC really have?
Posted 16 June 2008 - 11:28 PM
Reason: I admire him so much.
Dinner: I would serve Prime Rib, and Lobster. (as he is so refined)-used to the finer side of life!
Champagne, and then, Baked Alaska for dessert.
The dinner would come in severla courses, so I would have a couple hours to
ask him questions/ I guess mainly who he thought was after him? Why he was shot?
Posted 16 June 2008 - 11:37 PM
I would serve him some nice t-bone steaks with rice and red beans. I would also give him some tostones. He loved this meal. During all this I would tell him about his new grandson. I would tell him all about the smile he gives me and how it reminds me of him all the time.
That's all i have to say for now....
Posted 16 June 2008 - 11:56 PM
I'd have to say my grandmother, Geneva (my oldest DD is named after her). She was the kindest person that I've ever known in my life. She never had a negative word to say about anyone. Don't get me wrong, she totally stood up for herself.
She came from an educated family when that wasn't the norm. They comfortably (to put it mildly) survived the Great Depression. Very smart family.....
She married for love. My grandfather's family is HEAVILY Native American. His mother smoked a pipe, lol.
My grandmother NEVER said a bad word about anyone. She'd just state, "He/She is real nice (sounds like reeeeeel nass).
I'd serve her chocolate cake with peanutbutter frosting or homemade (baked with merange(sp) bannana pudding. She'd have fresh green beans from the garden cooked down with ham. I'd cook a beef dish of her choosing because beef for her was special (because they always ate chicken!). OMG...I'd ask for her recipe for her corn. NOBODY on the face of this planet can prepare corn like my grandmother. It's been so many years since I've had her corn..... Oh! And the best garden tomatoes I could find. Sweet yellow corn bread warm from the oven with melted butter.
I would demand that since she was dead and nothing could come back to haunt her that she give the low-down on everyone and what she really thought of them. I'd get an earful!
And I'd ask her how she felt when my grandfather died. She had 5 kids of her own, the youngest being 5 years old and even a nephew to feed on her own. She'd never worked outside the home in her life. She went to beauty school so that she could support my dad and his brothers and sisters and their one cousin. There were women in this town (VERY small town) who wouldn't allow my grandmother to shampoo their hair. I'd bet if I asked her what she thought of these women she'd give her respones of, "She's real nice." lol She had her own beauty salon and supported my dad and his brothers and sisters and their cousin this way.
My grandmother was a phenomenal(sp) woman before that catch phrase caught on.
Posted 20 June 2008 - 12:22 PM
She would love to hear about all the crazy things that have happened to me since she's been gone; and I would love to tell her how many times in those years I have thought, "Mom! you were so right"! I never told her that enough.
I could cook a gourmet meal, but she wouldnt appreciate that. She'd rather have her favorites: yellow squash soup and maybe a grilled cheese (or as she called it "cheese grill). A nice cup of hot tea with two sugars, just the way she always asked for it. "Honey, I'm gonna let you make me a cup of tea."
We'd sit and talk about every flower and tree and plant in her garden. I'd tell her how I love birds, the same way she always did.
Posted 20 June 2008 - 12:34 PM
She would love to hear all the crazy things that have happened to me in the past 5 years, and I would like to tell her how many times my hand has reached for the phone to call her and say: Mom! Your were so right!
I never told her that enough.
I could cook her a gourmet meal, but she wouldnt appreciate that. She'd rather have her favorites: yellow squash soup and maybe a grilled cheese (or as she called it "cheese grill"). A nice cup of hot tea with two sugars, exactly the way she asked for it so many times, "Honey, I'm going to let you make me a cup of tea."
We would sit and talk about every flower, plant, and tree in her garden. I would tell her how I love birds now, just the way she always did.
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