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USAA: From Stellar to Sucking Sewer Water


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I always used to think USAA walked on water. Their online banking has always been great, their CSRs superb and their credit approvals always solid.

 

Well, that ship has sailed.

 

USAA recently "upgraded" their website and it is now, in a word, shiat. They say they simplified it, but now it is so "simple" that nobody -- even CSRs -- can find the function to add or modify external accounts for transfers. When you try to call in, the average hold time was 2 fooking hours and 45 minutes. When you consider that approximately 40% of active duty personnel are stationed overseas, that's 165 minutes at international direct dial rates of up to $3.99 per minute.

 

When you do finally connect, the CSRs are quick to point out that the new website "upgrade" is fucked up beyond all recognition and is the reason why they are seeing astronomical call levels.

 

I'm wondering WTF they even had to make changes to their website.

 

 

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From their commercials you would think they're the best thing since sliced bread.

 

I opened an account with them only weeks before they stopped letting anyone open a bank account. My timing was great. I have a checking, savings and credit card with them. There's nothing exceptional about USAA, but I'll keep my membership/accounts open. If I close them I won't be able to rejoin.

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From their commercials you would think they're the best thing since sliced bread.
 
I opened an account with them only weeks before they stopped letting anyone open a bank account. My timing was great. I have a checking, savings and credit card with them. There's nothing exceptional about USAA, but I'll keep my membership/accounts open. If I close them I won't be able to rejoin.

To be fair, I was one of the ones who always thought they were the best thing since sliced bread. Key word: was.

While rewards on their credit cards wasn't as good as all the 2%+ cards out there now, they were ok. Credit limits were, for me, quite good considering their maximum exposure policy.

I really liked the immediate availability of incoming transfers from external accounts, immediate availability of remote deposit capture and very fast transfers to external accounts. Their customer service was also really good.

But not now. I barely tolerate ten minutes on hold, but 2 hours and 45 minutes? They can FOAD!


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5 hours ago, PotO said:


But not now. I barely tolerate ten minutes on hold, but 2 hours and 45 minutes? They can FOAD!
 

 

They are great.  

 

When my apartment was on fire, I called letting them know that a claim would be coming.  The insurance claims rep I was speaking to, googled my address. Found a live feed from a local news channel showing flames jumping from the roof.  He said this clearly was going to be a total loss.  He talked to a supervisor, and they paid the entire insured amount before the fire was out.  Who does that?

 

If you can't tolerate being on hold, in a time when employee prospects are hard to come by, and covid is keeping infected employees out of work for weeks; well that sounds like the problem is in your mirror.  

 

As far as the website, I have never seen anything "new" dealing with IT get implemented without complications.  I would bet they are on it, and things will return to normal soon.  In fact the not being able to add external accounts must have been fixed, it's under manage accounts. It can also still be done on the app. 

 

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as a second class citizen member I found the banking products to be subpar. I closed my 30k card 10 years or so ago and never looked back. For insurance, I can slum with Amica and be treated like a citizen.

Well, bro, I do know that they treat the second class citizens differently both in banking and insurance. But there is a cure for that. ;)

While their credit products are nothing special, at least they are better than Barclays and Stinkrony and are as good as many others. It does suck I suppose that they maximum exposure is set now at $50k, but I'm lucky I am grandfathered in to the old policy of $10k.

Their banking products, however, are far better than other banks. I can pull money from any external account and get instant availability. Nobody else does that. As for outgoing transfers, it's often same day, but never longer than the next working day. Chase and Skank of America take way longer.

Remote deposit of checks? I get immediate availability up to $100,000. They have yet to invent another bank that will do that.

USAA insurance is pretty good, but then I've never been with Amica. I have compared rates and coverage, and USAA has always had the best rates for me, plus you get a hundred dollars or more back at the end of every year. I have heard, though, that with claims they are more anal retentive with civilians.


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If you can't tolerate being on hold, in a time when employee prospects are hard to come by, and covid is keeping infected employees out of work for weeks; well that sounds like the problem is in your mirror.  
 
As far as the website, I have never seen anything "new" dealing with IT get implemented without complications.  I would bet they are on it, and things will return to normal soon.  In fact the not being able to add external accounts must have been fixed, it's under manage accounts. It can also still be done on the app. 
 


Reading is a very valuable skill. Try mastering it, Jethro.

The current hold times have nothing at all to do with COVID-19 and a shortage of employees. Up until the recent "improvements" to the website, hold times averaged a few minutes at worst. Over many, many years, at the very worst I have waited ten minutes, but 99% of the time it was under three minutes.

Some people don't have cell phones stuck up their rectum 24/7. Hopefully your cell phone is really small so you can pull it out quickly. As for IT complications, the issue isn't "complications" rather than the new "improvements" being designed by dyslexic chimps.

Yes, after about two weeks and literally tens of thousands of complaints, they did decide to place the function to manage external accounts more prominently. Initially that function was where anybody with a brain would have expected to find it -- right beside the function to make transfers between accounts. With the "improvements", they moved it to the BillPay tab, which was totally idiotic because with BillPay you do not use the data in external accounts at all. You simply set up a new payee, which is a separate function in the BillPay page.

You need a refresher in third-grade math. First of all, over 10% of all US military personnel are stationed overseas. To be fair, USAA will accept collect calls, but that is a useless distinction since the FCC eliminated collect calls years ago. That means anybody who has issues and needs to actually speak to USAA needs to call and pay international direct dial rates.

IDD rates vary by country and your local telephone company, but the typical range is between $2.99 and $3.99 per minute. The minimum hold time the past couple of weeks has been around 25 minutes. Again, third-grade math: That's between $74.75 and $99.75 to call and find out WTF you can't make a mission critical external transfer. Oh, and it gets even better when the hold times were 2 hours and 45 minutes. Are you stupid enough to think $493.35 to $658.35 is an aceptable price to pay to reach a CSR?

USAA has a special number available to the approximately 170,000 deployed service members that used to ring right through to a CSR 24/7. It was probably the same dyslexic monkeys that nerfed that number that designed the website "improvements".


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21 hours ago, PotO said:


Well, bro, I do know that they treat the second class citizens differently both in banking and insurance. But there is a cure for that. ;)

While their credit products are nothing special, at least they are better than Barclays and Stinkrony and are as good as many others. It does suck I suppose that they maximum exposure is set now at $50k, but I'm lucky I am grandfathered in to the old policy of $10k.

Their banking products, however, are far better than other banks. I can pull money from any external account and get instant availability. Nobody else does that. As for outgoing transfers, it's often same day, but never longer than the next working day. Chase and Skank of America take way longer.

Remote deposit of checks? I get immediate availability up to $100,000. They have yet to invent another bank that will do that.

USAA insurance is pretty good, but then I've never been with Amica. I have compared rates and coverage, and USAA has always had the best rates for me, plus you get a hundred dollars or more back at the end of every year. I have heard, though, that with claims they are more anal retentive with civilians.


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I have DCU and really like them as a bank. They do immediate availability of check deposits and direct deposits, which is very useful. Their external transfer situation isn't great due to extended waits, so I usually just write a check from one account into my DCU account. I wish I could find a bank/CU that offers immediate availability on check deposits AND Zelle. Yet, I think it is impossible to find one institution that does it all. I also worry sometimes about them being across the country (I'm in TX) and not having a physical branch near me. I'm always envisioning some nightmare technical glitch scenario where I can't access my money or go and yell at someone in person to fix it. I have been with DCU since 2014 and this has never happened, so maybe I am just a little paranoid. 

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21 hours ago, PotO said:


Reading is a very valuable skill. Try mastering it, Jethro.

The current hold times have nothing at all to do with COVID-19 and a shortage of employees. Up until the recent "improvements" to the website, hold times averaged a few minutes at worst. Over many, many years, at the very worst I have waited ten minutes, but 99% of the time it was under three minutes.

 

I didn't accept your premise, and suspected you were lying.  Nothing to do with my reading skills, everything to do with my snapshot assessment of your integrity.  

 

21 hours ago, PotO said:


Some people don't have cell phones stuck up their rectum 24/7. 

 

You wish for strange things, but we didn't ask and you didn't have to tell.

 

21 hours ago, PotO said:

As for IT complications, the issue isn't "complications" rather than the new "improvements" being designed by dyslexic chimps.

Yes, after about two weeks and literally tens of thousands of complaints, they did decide to place the function to manage external accounts more prominently. Initially that function was where anybody with a brain would have expected to find it -- right beside the function to make transfers between accounts. With the "improvements", they moved it to the BillPay tab, which was totally idiotic because with BillPay you do not use the data in external accounts at all. You simply set up a new payee, which is a separate function in the BillPay page.

 

The poor implementation is the complication.  The website designers and software integration consultants, are rarely end users for what they are designing.  They have no idea what the site or software needs to do.  They throw crap at a wall and think they have painted a Mona Lisa.  Problems are discovered as the website gets used by the end users.  This is where you are.  It takes time to fix, and is a crap show while it's being done.  I have never seen an Website as complicated as USAA, go through a overhaul without major problems.  You are right, the website was working fine as was.  I suspect this was all done because it needs to be compatible with Windows Server 2022 or similar upgrade.

 

21 hours ago, PotO said:

 

You need a refresher in third-grade math. First of all, over 10% of all US military personnel are stationed overseas. To be fair, USAA will accept collect calls, but that is a useless distinction since the FCC eliminated collect calls years ago. That means anybody who has issues and needs to actually speak to USAA needs to call and pay international direct dial rates.

IDD rates vary by country and your local telephone company, but the typical range is between $2.99 and $3.99 per minute. The minimum hold time the past couple of weeks has been around 25 minutes. Again, third-grade math: That's between $74.75 and $99.75 to call and find out WTF you can't make a mission critical external transfer. Oh, and it gets even better when the hold times were 2 hours and 45 minutes. Are you stupid enough to think $493.35 to $658.35 is an aceptable price to pay to reach a CSR?

USAA has a special number available to the approximately 170,000 deployed service members that used to ring right through to a CSR 24/7. It was probably the same dyslexic monkeys that nerfed that number that designed the website "improvements".
 

 

This kind of thing is what makes me question your integrity.  You are trying to snow job the second class citizens that don't know anything about DSN lines or Commo.  No one stationed overseas or deployed pays for calls to their bank; unless they pissed off a whole lot of people.  Which in that case you are deservedly paying an asshole tax.

 

Edited by cw73
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This kind of thing is what makes me question your integrity.  You are trying to snow job the second class citizens that don't know anything about DSN lines or Commo.  No one stationed overseas or deployed pays for calls to their bank; unless they pissed off a whole lot of people.  Which in that case you are deservedly paying an asshole tax.

 


So, Jethro, your issue is not only third-grade reading and math, there is also the fact that you are mentally on par with a dyslexic chimp.

First of all, DSN lines are for official use only and then only available from certain landlines located in actual office spaces. When cretins like you call back to the US for phone porn, that isn't considered official use. Neither is it when I call to check my bank accounts.

Even if I were like you and had no qualms about defrauding the government, I actually have little time for it. I'm generally pretty occupied doing what I am paid to do.

Commo, Jethro? Really, Google buzzwords aren't hiding your dismal IQ. Commo has nothing to do with the off-duty, off-post telephone services used by those stationed in your typical overseas non-conflict zones. Are you now pretending to be a member of the military just like you pretend to know WTF you are talking about when it comes to website upgrades.

Now, were what you stated even remotely truthful, why did USAA always brag about their special access line that accepted collect calls from overseas personnel? Just about every non-toll-free number that USAA, Navy Federal or PenFed has starts out with the "We accept collect calls" blurb. Or do you think that's for folks like you off in Thailand on porncation?


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The poor implementation is the complication. The website designers and software integration consultants, are rarely end users for what they are designing. They have no idea what the site or software needs to do. ..."


So in addition to that cell phone stuck up your butt, Jethro, you have a whole box of excuses.

If someone has no idea what the site or software needs to do, they should just stay home and play Super Mario on their Xbox.

So USAA hired monkeys to perform mission critical tasks AND failed miserably in trial-testing the final product.

Stick to Super Mario, Jethro. That's obviously where your future lies until you can get that IQ up above 7.


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On 9/26/2021 at 1:17 PM, PotO said:

 


So in addition to that cell phone stuck up your butt, Jethro, you have a whole box of excuses.

If someone has no idea what the site or software needs to do, they should just stay home and play Super Mario on their Xbox.

So USAA hired monkeys to perform mission critical tasks AND failed miserably in trial-testing the final product.

Stick to Super Mario, Jethro. That's obviously where your future lies until you can get that IQ up above 7.


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You are actually so dumb, that you didn't understand I was agreeing with you on this.  I've seen this happen many times.  The people that know what the software needs to do are rarely the ones that can code it.  Which is why there is a whole industry built on milking these companies.  

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On 9/26/2021 at 1:05 PM, PotO said:


First of all, DSN lines are for official use only and then only available from certain landlines located in actual office spaces. When cretins like you call back to the US for phone porn, that isn't considered official use. Neither is it when I call to check my bank accounts.

Even if I were like you and had no qualms about defrauding the government, I actually have little time for it. I'm generally pretty occupied doing what I am paid to do.

Does your NCOIC have a phone on his desk?  Does he have an open door policy?  Is part of his job to insure the health and welfare of his troops?  If you have a banking issue overseas, that is Official Business, it affects your readiness and makes you a potential target for foreign intelligence agencies.  You should have been briefed on this when you inprocessed; ask your S3.  Quit trying to snow job the second class citizens.  If you don't have a DSN line on your desk, you definitely have time for it, because you don't make decisions.

 

On 9/26/2021 at 1:05 PM, PotO said:


Commo, Jethro? Really, Google buzzwords aren't hiding your dismal IQ. Commo has nothing to do with the off-duty, off-post telephone services used by those stationed in your typical overseas non-conflict zones. Are you now pretending to be a member of the military just like you pretend to know WTF you are talking about when it comes to website upgrades.

 

I have made calls from remote regions all over the world.  There is always a commo guy that can get you internet and DSN connection; if you're not a prick.  I never referenced OCONUS, that is a straw man you are introducing, because you know it is as simple as using a DSN line.  

 

Are you in Europe?  I'll be in Germany for IWA in March.  I have a feeling you won't be so hostile in person.  

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You are actually so dumb, that you didn't understand I was agreeing with you on this.  I've seen this happen many times.  The people that know what the software needs to do are rarely the ones that can code it.  Which is why there is a whole industry built on milking these companies.  

Jethro, seriously, have mommy and daddy look into a refund on whatever they paid for your education beyond third grade.

Whether the coder knows what the software needs to do or not, that's still USAA's negligence. They should never have stuck something up for public use without careful testing and examination.

The problems with USAA's website upgrade were so obvious that anybody with an IQ of 7 would have noticed. Now there's an incentive for you to raise yours up a point or two!


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5 hours ago, PotO said:
5 hours ago, PotO said:


Jethro, seriously, have mommy and daddy look into a refund on whatever they paid for your education beyond third grade.
 


 

Meet me at Panzer Kaserne in March.   We'll play chess or something ☺️

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Does your NCOIC have a phone on his desk? ...


Well, Jethro, now we see why you've never made it past E-1. I don't have an NCOIC. I don't even have an OIC. Not many field grade officers do.

Calling your bank because they screwed up their website modifications is not now and never has been official business. It's called unauthorized use of government resources whether your unit takes it seriously or not is immaterial. Try it in mine and with the resulting NJP on your record you will stay an E-1 for another five years.


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5 hours ago, PotO said:

 


Well, Jethro, now we see why you've never made it past E-1. I don't have an NCOIC. I don't even have an OIC. Not many field grade officers do.

Calling your bank because they screwed up their website modifications is not now and never has been official business. It's called unauthorized use of government resources whether your unit takes it seriously or not is immaterial. Try it in mine and with the resulting NJP on your record you will stay an E-1 for another five years.


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I have doubts any of that is true.  Meet me at Panzer Kaserne in March.  If you are what you say you are I will eat crow, and post it in this thread.

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I have made calls from remote regions all over the world.  There is always a commo guy that can get you internet and DSN connection; if you're not a prick.  I never referenced OCONUS, that is a straw man you are introducing, because you know it is as simple as using a DSN line.  
 
Are you in Europe?  I'll be in Germany for IWA in March.  I have a feeling you won't be so hostile in person.  

Jethro, I am sorry. I made a mistake when I stated you struggled with third grade. It was obviously second grade.

Internet isn't the issue, Jethro. Neither is DSN. Seriously, get your local Literacy Volunteer to help you decipher what has been written.

DSN is for official use only. Your phone-sex is not official business, but perhaps in your mess hall they are lax or feel sorry for you after spending a whole day trying to learn how to make scrambled eggs on toast. Calling your bank is also not official business. It's called misuse of government property.

Europe? WTF would I be in Europe? USAA has a special toll-free number that can be called from most countries in Europe.


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I have doubts any of that is true.  Meet me at Panzer Kaserne in March.  If you are what you say you are I will eat crow, and post it in this thread.

Take a detour, Jethro. Seems everybody on here except you knows where I am.

Here's a clue that even an Army PFC who struggles to scramble eggs for a living can get: Defense Attaché. Major US Embassy.

Show up here. I'll show you the DSN lines and when you use them for your phone-sex sessions I'll ensure you get your fill of crow at the USDB.


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5 hours ago, PotO said:


Take a detour, Jethro. Seems everybody on here except you knows where I am.

Here's a clue that even an Army PFC who struggles to scramble eggs for a living can get: Defense Attaché. Major US Embassy.

Show up here. I'll show you the DSN lines and when you use them for your phone-sex sessions I'll ensure you get your fill of crow at the USDB.


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Interesting where your mind goes.  You have something seriously broke in your head.  Get that looked at or you are gonna be one of the 22.  

 

I can understand why you were sent to a far away land.  Wasn't "How to win friends and influence people" on your reading list as a Lt?  You may want to revisit that.  

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I was just hoping cause it would be easy since I will already be in country.  It's an accompanied tour so that limits options. 

Enjoy the winters. Other than that and dealing with all the swabbies, it's not a bad assignment.


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Interesting where your mind goes.  You have something seriously broke in your head.  Get that looked at or you are gonna be one of the 22.  
 
I can understand why you were sent to a far away land.  Wasn't "How to win friends and influence people" on your reading list as a Lt?  You may want to revisit that.  

I failed the "How to Be Nice to Idiots" test at Canoe U.


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5 hours ago, PotO said:


I failed the "How to Be Nice to Idiots" test at Canoe U.


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If that was a threat, I have a strong feeling I have made more canoes than you.  Message me when you're stateside, we'll find out.

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