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Burgerwars

Amazon's "Guaranteed" One Day Delivery

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When ordering from Amazon Prime (no extra charge for shipping), many items are "guaranteed" to be delivered in one day. I learned this "guarantee" is worth nothing.

Again today I ordered something guaranteed to be delivered by 8:00 PM. Again, I get an email late saying "We’re sorry it won’t arrive today, and we'll let you know when your package is out for delivery."  The new arrival day is tomorrow or Friday.

Why do they say "guaranteed," when the item doesn't arrive on time, you get nothing for the guarantee?

Anyway, no biggie that the package will arrive late, but Amazon needs to wipe the word "guaranteed" from their website. Amazon Prime members are suckers for this guarantee.

 

Edited by Burgerwars

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On Monday I ordered something from Amazon and specified the slowest shipping option, because we're both traveling.

 

It was supposed to arrive early next week, but instead it was delivered the very next day, so the package is now sitting near our front door telling everyone who passes that no one is home.

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I'm going to make a guarantee here, the same way Amazon's guarantees work.  Here it goes:

 

Burgerwars guarantees the sun will not explode for the life of my non-exploding sun insurance policies.  This vital insurance is only $5 a day, for up to 365 days of coverage.  If the sun does explode and destroys the earth, and you've bought one of my insurance policies, I will reimburse you for expenses incurred for planning your life around the sun not exploding.  One expense I will not reimburse you for is waiting for a guaranteed Amazon delivery, as the odds of getting a delivery on time are worse than that of the sun exploding.  

 

For peace of mind, buy some coverage today.  These are good policies.  😕

Edited by Burgerwars

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1 hour ago, cv91915 said:

On Monday I ordered something from Amazon and specified the slowest shipping option, because we're both traveling.

 

It was supposed to arrive early next week, but instead it was delivered the very next day, so the package is now sitting near our front door telling everyone who passes that no one is home.

Don't worry.  A porch pirate will have swiped your package by now.

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1 hour ago, Burgerwars said:

Don't worry.  A porch pirate will have swiped your package by now.

And then returned it in a shoddily-wrapped container upon realizing what it was...

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I bought a mattress and box spring through Amazon. They were both Prime, so I took the day they were supposed to be delivered off from work so I could be home when they arrived. Only the box spring came; UPS left the mattress in Minneapolis. A quick complaint through chat and they fully refunded the mattress price. I got a free mattress and another day off.

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