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va loan - need help with closing cost question

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Good morning,


We put a contract on a new-construction that was supposed to be completed 03/01/2019. We were approved for a VA loan back in October through the builder's preferred lender.  We paid $1000 earnest money via cashier's check. We also paid $3,150.00 in upgraded options, that we used a balance transfer check to pay for. We were told this money would be used towards closing costs.  


Fast-forward to today, the lender is now stating that the $3,150 we paid cannot be used towards closing due to it being borrowed funds. My rebuttal is we've paid $4,900 in payments to the card since October. Shouldn't that count for something? Also, the lender is saying the builder will have to refund us this money 21 days AFTER closing. Is this normal practice?


ALSO, the lender made us pay $537.24 for an appraisal fee and credit monitoring fee in October. Yesterday, while reading through the sales contract, I noticed the builder was supposed to pay. Upon contacting the lender, they said they would refund the money back to my credit card. I asked them when I would receive the credit and haven't gotten a response. Can they keep this money until after closing too?


The rest of this is just background/venting session:


The house still isn't move-in ready and it appraised for $3,550 less than sales price. We are waiting to hear back from builder on whether or not he will be lowering the sales price. However, the builder's agent seemed irritated that we asked because they've already lost money on the house due to: a) their mistake in installing the incorrect cabinets in the bathrooms and kitchen b) their mistake in installing the wrong color roof (one shade lighter than we ordered) & the wrong color siding (one shade lighter than we ordered which they compensated us with 2-in faux blinds through the house and c) their having to stall the project due to not having permits with the county for water meters.


Last week, they wanted to close on 4/26, however, we're not willing to close at the end of the month. We've had to extend our lease on our current rental on a month-to-month basis which includes a 13.5% premium each month. So we want our first payment to be due in July. We also did not want to pay that much interest so we picked 5/13 as the closing date.


Please help a first time home buyer out with any advice on the above question or other things we need to know at closing.

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