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cv91915 has set up a Go Fund Me page to take donations that will be used for flowers for breeze's memorial, and excess will be donated to a cancer charity in breeze's name.  If you'd like to participate, please go here:  https://www.gofundme.com/breeze-memorial .  If you have any questions about donating or the GFM, please reach out to cv91915.  
Sunday, unexpectedly, we lost one of our own.  After a sudden diagnosis of liver cancer just two days before, our very own mama Breeze lost her battle with this disease and passed away on Sunday afternoon.   She passed peacefully surrounded by her family.
We know that many of you will be as devastated as we are to learn of this, and we know that you will share in our grief.  We will be in the Feedback forum with you, sharing our memories and our tears.  We encourage you to join us there.
We started on this journey fifteen years ago - breeze, Pam, LKH, and radi8.  Through everything that has transpired over the past fifteen years, we have always remained family - and Mama breeze was an integral part of that family.  We will be posting additional information here, as much as we can while still respecting her desire for privacy and anonymity.  For now, while we process our grief, we will close this notice with Godspeed, Mama.  We miss you so much already.


- Pam, LKH, radi8, Marv

- the mods and forum leads


Exploring options, CC debt

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I've had an absolutely insane divorce and continuing post-divorce nightmare.  Currently I have over 70K in credit card debt and it is getting to be unmanageable.  The worst part is my ex keeps running up my legal bills, with very little I can do to control costs.  As an example, a simple child support modification due to alimony ending has cost me close to 1k because my ex and her lawyer are inflating my income by 15%.


One of the critical issues is that I'm still spending several hundred a month on average for legal fees, with this month having to refill the legal retainer for over 4K.  I know I'm in a death spiral of finances since I can't afford to pay cash for the legal crap, but my minimum payments (over $1,300) are getting so high that I'm running out of slack in my budget.  I'm to the point that I can't even see paying them off.  


I've requested a consultation through my work's employee assistance plan but I'd love to hear what people here have for advice.  Back in 2005, I got a lot of help when my sister filed bankruptcy and one credit card company cancelled my card and put bankruptcy on my credit report as I was buying a house.  It wasn't a joint account or authorized user, just we have a rare last name and both our first names start with an "A" and had credit cards from the same companyd.


I'm in the Denver area, so apartment rents are pretty bad.  I have my kids (boy and girl) part time in a 3 bedroom apartment that is reasonably close to my ex but it is still over $1,600 a month and closer to $1,750 when gas and electricity are added in.

Cell phone is through Google Fi and my work reimburses the first $45 a month, with my average bill around $10 depending on how much data I use.

I don't have a TV and have cancelled Netflix leaving just Amazon Prime.

My internet connection is $60/month, not the cheapest plan but last I looked the lower tier was around $45 month. 

I've started taking my lunch to work, most of my lunches are based around 1 or 2 rotisserie chickens a week, which is hard to beat on cost.

Looking at my bank statement, I'm around a $100 on extra expenses a month that I could cut back on, couple times a month Starbucks,

I've stopped going to the barber I've been going to and looking for a cheaper place for beard trim and hair cuts.

My car is paid off, while it isn't fuel efficient I don't drive a lot thanks to a bus pass for work.  I tend to fill it up twice a month.


I'm in the process of updating my resume and since I've done IT Security for over 15 years, I'm hopefully to add at least 10% to my salary.

Second job is next to impossible, I'm over half way through earning a MBA and looking like I'll graduate August '19.  If I stop to get another job the student loan payments will most likely take all of the income.


Bankruptcy and debt consolidation seem like the two options, but I'm afraid then I won't be able to afford legal services.  And considering that I've had to fight five false allegations of child abuse and domestic violence in less than 2.5 years, I don't see a way to go Pro Se.





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WIth minimum payments in that range, either you have extremely high interest rates,  high balances or both.   Debt consolidation places can help if the interest rates are high.  If you already have really good rates  but the balances are just up there....there isn't a lot they can do.  That leaves BK as the remaining option.   You might run a quick means test to see if you'd be looking at a 7 or 13. 

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I've started working with a financial counselor through my work's employee assistance plan.  I've returned all the financial information to him.  Rough number on the credit cards are 70k at an average weighted interest rate of 18.05%.


I'll have to see what the financial guy thinks before I go to the next steps. 

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