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socalrob

Woke up with $50k in cc debt. Aftermath of manic episode.

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Long story short. Had my first serious Manic episode in over 10 years this year. Came back with 50k in debt. Can't afford to pay the monthly payments on everything.  Amex has had the worst customer service out of any of my creditors so I think I'm going to stop paying them.  I owe them $20k over two business cards (was $25k, but i transferred that debt from a personal amex to a 0% offer with another creditor).  

 

Have to stop paying Amex. What are the chances they'll settle the debt for less than 50% of balance owed? How long after I stop paying them will they consider this?

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You know... I’m going to reply and many won’t like what I have to say.

You need to pay them 100% and never have a credit card again. If some mental illness causes you to spend like that then you have NO business with cards.

It’s ridiculousness like this that causes the rest of us to pay.


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I agree that the OP probably shouldn't have a credit card if this is a mental breakdown of some sort causing this.

 

I see debit cards in your future.

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Time to start returning a WHOLE bunch of stuff. 
 

AXP will let you repay on the Optima program in some instances, but they are ALSO noted for letting you deal with the litigation after they sue you to collect.  They are NOT noted for selling the paper off. 

 

You told them you had the capacity to pay for what they extended you.  You either have those funds or you are in a position of having lied to them.  Of the lenders out there, AXP is one of the ones I have actually seen cases where they pursued criminal charges. 

 

Many of us would clearly disagree with you on their level of customer service.  But whether you like them or not does not change the fact that you ran up a bill.  Now you have buyer's remorse.  You claim you just woke up, which means all of this is crap you bought and can return.  You need to begin doing so...

 

And if the matter moves to litigation, I sure hope that you have ALSO been in treatment so that there is a record of your mental health claims...

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AmEX, Discover and CapOne are 3 card companies you should not stiff. There a some others, but those are the usual suspects. They want their money, and that's all there is to it.

 

As asked above, do you have merchandise you can return? 

 

I'm curious - not being judgmental - but do you have medication you can take for the manic episodes? What happened? Not my business and if you ignore the question I won't be offended.

 

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I cannot imagine coming around and realizing what I'd done. I've read about it, but can't imagine it. Is it like a blackout, where you don't remember anything about it? Or is it just feeling so good you keep going, and then the good feelings stop and the real ones hit?

 

Blackouts are really scary.

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I am not trying to be sexist, but I guess I am going to be. From having observed my wife and daughter many times, I can confirm that shopping for women is therapeutic. It feels good and it is sometimes difficult for them to stop. 

 

That is why I have alerts setup on the credit cards so I get a text whenever something over $100 is charged. I can help to nip it quickly if it is something other than groceries or something we have discussed beforehand.

Edited by RocketGoBoom

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sorry to hear this OP... ignore the unhelpful posts from the trolls above. The first thing you need to deal with is making sure your in a good place now to tackle the problem with organized gusto. You may want to talk to a local non-profit debt consolidation agency to see if they can help you.

 

You should also assess and prioritize how to protect your assets as these debts are potentially large enough to see a suit over.

 

good luck. you're in the right place. just ignore the hate.

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sorry to hear this OP... ignore the unhelpful posts from the trolls above. The first thing you need to deal with is making sure your in a good place now to tackle the problem with organized gusto. You may want to talk to a local non-profit debt consolidation agency to see if they can help you.
 
You should also assess and prioritize how to protect your assets as these debts are potentially large enough to see a suit over.
 
good luck. you're in the right place. just ignore the hate.


It’s not hate. It’s talking to someone like an adult.


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21 hours ago, EnriqueAMtz said:

You know... I’m going to reply and many won’t like what I have to say.

You need to pay them 100% and never have a credit card again. If some mental illness causes you to spend like that then you have NO business with cards.

It’s ridiculousness like this that causes the rest of us to pay.


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F off dude. I haven't had an episode in over 10 years. Would you tell someone that got cancer and had to start chemo the same thing. Jerks like you are the reason there is such a stigma around mental illness.

Edited by socalrob

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20 hours ago, breeze said:

AmEX, Discover and CapOne are 3 card companies you should not stiff. There a some others, but those are the usual suspects. They want their money, and that's all there is to it.

 

As asked above, do you have merchandise you can return? 

 

I'm curious - not being judgmental - but do you have medication you can take for the manic episodes? What happened? Not my business and if you ignore the question I won't be offended.

 

Amex won't settle, really? If I ask for financial hardship will they stop their 23% interest rate.

 

I have started the return process. Unfortunately, a lot of the stuff I purchased is travel and hotel and don't think I can get refunded for that. Some things have not been allowed to return so I started filling purchase protection claims.

 

Yes, I take medication. Haven't had an episode for 10 years. The stress of having my Gramps dying of cancer and my stressful job I think put some extra stress on me that brought this on. I was hospitalized a few times, but I kept talking my way out of the hospital. 

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F off dude. I haven't had an episode in over 10 years. Would you tell someone that got cancer and had to start chemo the same thing. Jerks like you are the reason there is such a stigma around mental illness.

 

 

There is a stigma around mental illness. Because people like to use it as an excuse to get out of responsibilities and blame your actions on it. Cancer and bipolar disorder are completely different.

 

Be a man and stop making excuses. In your last post you said you talk yourself out of the hospital. So you are a manipulator. You don’t want to get better. So again, by any basic psychological measure , you are making excuses.

 

 

 

 

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13 hours ago, hegemony said:

sorry to hear this OP... ignore the unhelpful posts from the trolls above. The first thing you need to deal with is making sure your in a good place now to tackle the problem with organized gusto. You may want to talk to a local non-profit debt consolidation agency to see if they can help you.

 

You should also assess and prioritize how to protect your assets as these debts are potentially large enough to see a suit over.

 

good luck. you're in the right place. just ignore the hate.

Thanks for the support heg. I'm definitely in a better place now that my grandpa died and I don't have to see him suffer. I've been on leave from work, but I'm doing a fit for duty appointment in about a week so I can start earning money again.

 

Good tip. Don't have any assets except for my car. 

 

Question:

1. Do BUSINESS Amex card chargeoffs and settlements show up on credit reports?

2. I've seen posts that Amex does from time to time settle. Do you know if Amex currently has a soft spot for settling debt?

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12 minutes ago, EnriqueAMtz said:

 

 

There is a stigma around mental illness. Because people like to use it as an excuse to get out of responsibilities and blame your actions on it. Cancer and bipolar disorder are completely different.

 

Be a man and stop making excuses. In your last post you said you talk yourself out of the hospital. So you are a manipulator. You don’t want to get better. So again, by any basic psychological measure , you are making excuses.

 

 

 

 

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Cancer and bipolar are not different, they are both medical conditions. The only difference is jerks like you that are not informed. Responses like yours are, imho, a large part of the reason mentally special people commit suicude in such high numbers. Now please leave this thread alone so I can figure out a plan to get out of this mess.

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21 hours ago, RocketGoBoom said:

I agree that the OP probably shouldn't have a credit card if this is a mental breakdown of some sort causing this.

 

I see debit cards in your future.

I don't. Fico is still over 700 even with 30k CC debt showing on my report (thank you credit boards). 20k is not showing up bc Amex cards are business cards. Credit card protections are to valuable. I do see asking my credit card companies to enforce daily Max purchases and lowering my cash withdrawal limit as much as possible.

 

 

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17 hours ago, RocketGoBoom said:

I am not trying to be sexist, but I guess I am going to be. From having observed my wife and daughter many times, I can confirm that shopping for women is therapeutic. It feels good and it is sometimes difficult for them to stop. 

 

That is why I have alerts setup on the credit cards so I get a text whenever something over $100 is charged. I can help to nip it quickly if it is something other than groceries or something we have discussed beforehand.

Great idea. Ima request text alerts go out to my brother so he can check and see if I'm spending outside of my usual habits. Seriously, this idea is great for someone like me.

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21 hours ago, TheVig said:

"Retail Therapy" gone wrong.

Now this is a funny way to put this situation in. Thanks dude.

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4 minutes ago, socalrob said:

Now this is a funny way to put this situation in. Thanks dude.

Glad I could help.

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Cancer and bipolar are not different, they are both medical conditions. The only difference is jerks like you that are not informed. Responses like yours are, imho, a large part of the reason mentally special people commit suicude in such high numbers. Now please leave this thread alone so I can figure out a plan to get out of this mess.

 

Cancer and bipolar are very different. The vast majority of people with cancer are not using it as an excuse for their behavior. But I see it at work all the time. All the bipolar people love to come to the ER for this and that. It’s a teaching hospital so we have to see them. And listen to their drawn out stories and “it’s not my fault I’m sick and i can’t control it.”

 

The worst thing people can do is allow the excuses. Tell your psychiatrist about all this and let us know what his response is. Maybe you should discuss ECT with your doctor. When I was a resident I saw it change lives for the better.

 

Listen, I may come off as cold and a jerk. I do have some empathy for your situation. However, knowing that you have compulsions like these, regardless of the lapse of time between them, you should not have this much available credit. You need to put limitations on yourself. Having this amount of available credit is like leaving pills on a drug addicts table. But you DO have more control over yourself than you want people to see. People with bipolar disorder want sympathy and attention. It’s the nature of the disease. And you have to learn to control that.

 

It’s simple really. Do you want to control the disease or let it control you? And with bipolar disorder it really is that simple 95% of the time.

 

 

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So this is NOT a 'woke up' thing with a binge spend the night before as your initial post might have otherwise suggested.  Instead, you went full bust-out and are falling back on mental health as your reason for using business cards for personal debt.  

 

Guess what.  You lied to AXP.  You affirmed that your use of the card was for business use.  Why is the business not paying the expense?  Let me guess...there IS no business despite the affirmation to the contrary when you applied for the card.  

 

AND...since this was a business card with no real business behind it, chances are good you personally guaranteed the card, which means they can and will likely litigate to get their funds.  You won't have the usual consumer protections because this is NOT consumer debt. 

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OP, you might be best served PMing a moderator and asking to have this thread closed. 

 

From there, open a new thread and just state the credit problem(s) you are trying to solve.  That's why we're here.

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Obviously, there are people who don't have an accurate clue about bipolar, or mania, or even, for that matter, CB's reason for existence. Perhaps they think they're giving "tough love" or something.

 

OP, I can clean this up, block people from the thread (they will not be able to post here) and allow the topic to continue, or you can start from scratch with another thread. Starting from scratch may still attract the critics.

 

Send me a message (click my name) and let me know your preference.  

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