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Proof People are Shallow

The last post in this topic was posted 1115 days ago. 

 

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So school has let out, and my kids mom asked if she can have them for a portion of the summer, Her work schedule coincides with their schedules better and with me moving It reduces the stress on me for a bit to get everything settled. Sounds good,

 

Not even a few days into having them I get a email notice, stating I have a domestic relations hearing where I will be a defendant in the fact she is pursuing child support. Ummm. I am the custodial parent, I never pursued child support as she never has steady income,so she would end up in prison over child support because I know I would never receive any, and she never has any money to begin with so I would have to go back to court every time she requests modification for changes in jobs, etc. Which would be a waste of my time as I can make more money in one day of work vs. her 50 dollars a week I could potentially get. So in the Domestic Relations sections eyes. Anyone can pursue child support because there was never a support order, In the grand state of PA Support and Custody are two different things. So even though I am the custodial parent since I never pursued child support She can pursue it. And since removing legal custody or parent rights in PA are downright impossible even if she was a addict lying in the sewers. "there is always hope she will recover" My custody agreement is kinda liberal where it can be adjusted to accommodate changes if both parties approve.

 

Truth be told this tells me one of 2 things, this was a ploy cause shes broke.And hoping that she can weasel some money out of me to keep her afloat for a few more months. Or shes gonna attempt to get physical custody so that she can keep the income from me coming so her and hubby can live off it. Either way I find it pretty pathetic when you look at your children as money pumps vs. children.

 

This is not the way I wanted to start my weekend.

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So school has let out, and my kids mom asked if she can have them for a portion of the summer, Her work schedule coincides with their schedules better and with me moving It reduces the stress on me for a bit to get everything settled. Sounds good,

 

Not even a few days into having them I get a email notice, stating I have a domestic relations hearing where I will be a defendant in the fact she is pursuing child support. Ummm. I am the custodial parent, I never pursued child support as she never has steady income,so she would end up in prison over child support because I know I would never receive any, and she never has any money to begin with so I would have to go back to court every time she requests modification for changes in jobs, etc. Which would be a waste of my time as I can make more money in one day of work vs. her 50 dollars a week I could potentially get. So in the Domestic Relations sections eyes. Anyone can pursue child support because there was never a support order, In the grand state of PA Support and Custody are two different things. So even though I am the custodial parent since I never pursued child support She can pursue it. And since removing legal custody or parent rights in PA are downright impossible even if she was a addict lying in the sewers. "there is always hope she will recover" My custody agreement is kinda liberal where it can be adjusted to accommodate changes if both parties approve.

 

Truth be told this tells me one of 2 things, this was a ploy cause shes broke.And hoping that she can weasel some money out of me to keep her afloat for a few more months. Or shes gonna attempt to get physical custody so that she can keep the income from me coming so her and hubby can live off it. Either way I find it pretty pathetic when you look at your children as money pumps vs. children.

 

This is not the way I wanted to start my weekend.

This will probably be the most heart feels reply I ever leave. My mother literally used my brother and I as a means to not have to work via child support. She furthermore manipulated my brother and I into hating our father. In the end the money served her well as she did not have to work, however neither of us talk to her because of what she did. In your case, yes she probably is simply trying to get money... In the end what matters is the kids... Never forget that because when they get older they will know exactly what happened! Good luck to you and god bless.

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I'm so sorry. PA child support laws are also draconian, especially in allegheny county. I have a family member who has been royally screwed over by the ex and yet it continues to happen. Get a lawyer and good luck. You are going to need it.

 

Sent from my SM-N900V using Tapatalk

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Heres something I learned during my custody battle with my ex-wife, "No Good Deed ever Goes UN-Punished".they will screw you every time they get a chance especially if it for money in their favor.

 

Like you I did not go after child support because she could never keep a job past a year before going out of work for years at a time. She also hauled me into court for child support and pulled almost the same crap can I have the kids for part of the summer and bang back in court. Unfortunately for her I got an attorney who had her parental rights pretty much removed because it was the only way I wouldn't have to pay child support because in California although the time you have the kids does matter they also look at the pay scales between both parents an I make a ton more than she ever would.

 

My best advice is stop playing nice get an attorney go after everything you can including child support if you can. The way it was explained to me is that its best to go after child support and not collect it than to never have it and then they sue you for it. See if you have it and she never pays it you can use it against her in the future if things change and she get custody or if it never changes you can just wash it away, its up to you to actually report it to the authorities and it will give you something to hold over her in case she ever gets out of hand.

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Thanks guys, yes I already consulted with my attorney, it took me 5 years after we separated to get a custody agreement, and she never paid me any kind of support I make double that she does so it didn't seem feasible to pursue it, as she would drag me to court hundreds of times for reductions cause she can't pay.

 

But I have heated arguments with her all the time, I set up accounts for their college education or whatever they plan for out of high school. At which she deems useless cause not every kid goes to college. They classify the earnings off of them as income, I usually pick up a 2nd job over the summer doing medical at events like concerts, fairs, races etc. They classify that as income which they are entitled to half of. So paying child support in pa you are to live in poverty, while the payee can live well off on your hard earned dollars, yet not spend a dime on your children, while there's nothing stating they have to prove what the funds are used for.

 

If you don't see your kids your a dead beat. But when I hear what some people pay in child support often leading them into bankruptcy. They wonder why they don't see their kids, not because they don't want to they are forced into poverty to limit them from seeing them. Kinda the reason I never pursued it, didn't want the excuse being thst I don't see the boys because I can't afford anything after my child support

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I have a friend who's daughter is going away in 2 weeks to spend the summer with family & friends who live out of state including her father, she works from home so she can bring her workload to my home we already discussed it.

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My mom spent all the "child support" money on herself at Neiman Marcus (Lord & Taylor, Filene's, Jordan Marsh, Coach, Burberry...)

 

Once I told her the upstairs bathroom was running low on toothpaste, shampoo, etc. so can I have $20 to go to CVS.

 

"Doesn't Dad give you money for that stuff?" she asked.

 

At age 17, I had come to understand a coupla things, so I said, "Dad gives YOU money for that stuff."

 

Continuing to file her treasured fingernails, she said, "Well... he doesn't give me that much money."

 

(The pediatric dentist sure didn't treat me the way I'd expect him to treat someone who uses $400 worth of toothpaste every single week...)

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Stop b!tching... at least you had one parent that almost gave a sh!t.

 

Yeah those COURT-ORDERED payments are evidence of real caring. So were his countless jaunts to Barbados with his secretary.

 

Meanwhile his two children lived in a house that had no food in it, because the Fifth Avenue fashion model wanna be said she didn't want to have food around because it's too potentially damaging to her figure.

 

unleashedfury, I hope this issue you are facing does not become too big of a headache.

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Stop b!tching... at least you had one parent that almost gave a sh!t.

Yeah those COURT-ORDERED payments are evidence of real caring. So were his countless jaunts to Barbados with his secretary.

 

Meanwhile his two children lived in a house that had no food in it, because the Fifth Avenue fashion model wanna be said she didn't want to have food around because it's too potentially damaging to her figure.

 

unleashedfury, I hope this issue you are facing does not become too big of a headache.

Thanks sidewinder, I love my kids I absolutely do, if truthfully my children where getting a proper upbringing and if my money was going towards the children I wouldn't complain one bit, but I honestly know better, before I got my kids she was getting 1k a month from me, would drop my kids off and say oh they need clothes and haircuts and this and that. So with the 1k you get you can't spare a few hundred to make sure our children's needs are met? How I got my kids was she dropped them off one weekend and never returned fought with me about how her child support payments should resume so I can support her & her bf at the time. The court obviously saw it otherwise when they found out the children live with me

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Court ordered support doesn't mean jack. My ex has to be garnished or he refuses to pay. He could give two shits about the girls visitation,lessons or otherwise. He will get them every once in a while, when his house needs cleaned or his Laundry needs washed. Probably about every third month he trots out a new girlfriend and shoves it down there throats. Real winner there. DNA doesn't mean squat.

 

Otherwise their real dad is their stepdad, He's the one that helps cart them to their appointments, goes to their karate tournaments make sure they have a yearly vacation goes to all of their school functions and treats them like one of His own. They call him Dad, been that way for years.

 

Unleashed good luck with your situation.

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Court ordered support doesn't mean jack. My ex has to be garnished or he refuses to pay. He could give two shits about the girls visitation,lessons or otherwise. He will get them every once in a while, when his house needs cleaned or his Laundry needs washed. Probably about every third month he trots out a new girlfriend and shoves it down there throats. Real winner there. DNA doesn't mean squat.

 

Otherwise their real dad is their stepdad, He's the one that helps cart them to their appointments, goes to their karate tournaments make sure they have a yearly vacation goes to all of their school functions and treats them like one of His own. They call him Dad, been that way for years.

 

Unleashed good luck with your situation.

 

Can't beat that, all things considered.

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Thanks Brazen, it's good you got a good hubby who takes care of his new children, as a parent I could never forget my children or trot them around a new gf. Etc I actually prefer to stay single. As being a single parent is time consuming. And I have a hard enough time balancing my time.

 

She does the same thing new hubby time to showboat, she keeps me as a friend on Facebook and since I can be a vindictive prick. I pretend like nothing is wrong, I'll communicate and such like I'm calm and relaxed, and not make mention of everything. It's the calm before the storm

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