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Thinking of opening a homeless shelter


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Well, we had a nice 3 hour lunch.

 

Let me start of by saying........... In my original post, I stated she has the IQ of a fruit salad. Wow, was I wrong. I'll get back to the IQ in a moment.

 

We pretty much let her drive the bus on today's activities and conversation. Got some take out from Outback and went to a park. On her own, it didn't take long for her to start talking. The short of it is pretty much from the time she took her first steps, she's had to take care of herself. Or to put it another way.......If you took all the Jerry Springer, Maurry Povich, and Dr Phil episodes, along with some of the more wacked out money stories we've heard here on CB and mixed it all up in a blender, it would describe the situation.

 

The beatings were over money. Told us that a couple of years ago she started doing odd jobs around the neighborhood after school. Cleaning houses, washing peoples cars, pet sitting etc. She figured if she could quietly save some money without her parents finding out, one day she could get the hell away. Her parents figured out she was making some coin, and felt they were entitled to every dime of it. She would stand firm, saying she didn't have anymore to give, then mom and dad would start wailing on her. She took the beatings instead of giving up her stash.

 

About that stash......... When we picked her today, she had a small back pack. Didn't think much about, since many people use those instead of purses these days. While listening to her story, she dumped all the contents of the back pack out onto the picnic table in the park.

 

The contents were as follows:

 

1. Birth Certificate (Legit duplicate)

2. Social Security Card (Original)

3. Recent school report cards. (she's been getting A's and B's)

4. Pay as you go TracFone (DW looked at her FB and YouTube accounts---- her viewing history shows she has been watching videos on money management and frugal living)

5. AND......$3143.14 !!!!!! She managed to save and hide that from her mom and dad over a almost 3 year period !!!! (Note to self---- I need to start baby and pet sitting, clearly there is money to be made)

 

At the end of it, the DW and I asked her what she wants for her future and how does that correlate to us. Her response was........stability, structure, and not have my future ripped off by scumbag family---- her exact words. And not having to move every few weeks or months would be nice. Would like live with Mr. and Mrs. Vig, including full custody.

 

Dropped her off at her temporary foster parents. BTW---- they are into fostering for the tax payer handouts. turds.

 

The DW and I still haven't made a decision. What we have decided, that is if we take her in, it will be all or nothing. I've got friends in the courts and cops who's sole job is child welfare concerns. They owe me some get out of jail free cards of sorts...........put some pressure on mom and dad to sign away their rights.

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well, sounds mature for her age, and while there certainly is trauma in there somewhere,

 

she's got a clear eyed view of parents.

 

doesn't sound like a space case, she has some ambition to better herself, maybe she can land a scholarship eventually and get into college.

 

develop some ground rules and terms

 

I think mom and Dad's rights are going to be stripped at a hearing - NO signature required.

 

the courts took her away , they can hand her over to you; talk to your cop friends this week

 

she'll probably only be living with you for the next 5 years and be off to college.,

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I just read this whole thread from beginning to end and it is just my opinion, but it is not a coincidence that this young lady is coming to you and I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that with a little work things will fall into place and both you your wife and this young lady will be blessed. Fingers crossed, prayers, hugs, and good luck to everyone

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Oh, and take her to a bank and deposit that $$$ - that stash is not safe at the foster home, other kids are going to steal it.

 

I forgot to mention, that stash is now locked up in a safe in my apartment, that is bolted to the floor.

 

Although she is only 13, I'm concerned about her credit reports. Need to get those things on ice.

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I just read this whole thread from beginning to end and it is just my opinion, but it is not a coincidence that this young lady is coming to you and I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that with a little work things will fall into place and both you your wife and this young lady will be blessed. Fingers crossed, prayers, hugs, and good luck to everyone

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Thank you.

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Glad to hear about the girl. Honestly with her mentality she could really make something of herself. Encourage her to dream big. If she's pulling A's and B's in that kind of environment just imagine what some stability would do.

Get her thinking about how high grades can equal college scholarships.

Encourage reading and personal growth. I want to see this girl really flourish!

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I would not jump into this whole hog. This girl could be a real diamond in a crap family but how did she manage to hide all that loot from them? Desperate meth heads will turn over everything in sight looking for dough and can develop extremely scheming mindsets. Hopefully the girl hasn't incorporated that into her own sense of ethics and self worth. Sometimes people in horrible situations see it for what it is and reject the crap wholesale. I certainly hope that is the case here. Be careful. Trust, but verify.

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The beatings were over money. Told us that a couple of years ago she started doing odd jobs around the neighborhood after school. Cleaning houses, washing peoples cars, pet sitting etc. She figured if she could quietly save some money without her parents finding out, one day she could get the hell away. Her parents figured out she was making some coin, and felt they were entitled to every dime of it. She would stand firm, saying she didn't have anymore to give, then mom and dad would start wailing on her. She took the beatings instead of giving up her stash.

 

Are the parents in jail instead of the homeless shelter?

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The parents were in separate shelters. Now in jail for child abuse. The parents are not on meth. Other family members in the area are. And yes being a minor, would have allowed her parents to have access to the money.

 

According to my DW her father's whole side of the family with the exception of him and a couple of others never amounted to anything on any level. Kind of explains why my FIL, now deceased never had anything to do with his brothers, sisters, and cousins. I was always told by my FIL and MIL to avoid them like the plague.

 

Best I can tell, the entire bloodline going back since Moses wore short pants has lived a hat in hand existence for one reason or another. With the exception of a few bright spots over the years.

 

One of my FIL brothers was a rash to law enforcement from the day he came out of the womb, up until he conveniently hung himself in a jail cell. Wink, wink.

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Yes, I agree with cashnocredit. Be careful. Go slow. Kids who grow up in households like that can have attachment disorder, deep-seated anger and aggression. I believe some of these traits are genetic, passed down from one family member to their kids.

 

Maybe she's for real - I hope so. But - maybe she's a natural born con artist. I know, I'm cynical. It comes from a lot of experience.

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Yes, I agree with cashnocredit. Be careful. Go slow. Kids who grow up in households like that can have attachment disorder, deep-seated anger and aggression. I believe some of these traits are genetic, passed down from one family member to their kids.

 

Maybe she's for real - I hope so. But - maybe she's a natural born con artist. I know, I'm cynical. It comes from a lot of experience.

This^^^

 

Old people know what they're talking about!

 

Wisdom comes from experience.

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Yes, she's learned coping mechanisms and survival skills. She's probably accustomed to a level of independence that most 13 year olds don't have. Both from a lack of parental care and supervision and of necessity of caring for herself since the parental units didn't.

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The traits I discussed aren't necessarily bad ones. She's had to survive and it's admirable that she has. It's just some characteristics that you need to be aware of if you choose to take her in. It will change your parenting tactics. By necessity.

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You have a real chance to turn around a life, here. That's a rare opportunity to pay it forward.

 

I know what I would do, but you and Mrs. Vig have to make your choice.

 

Honestly, she had her chocolate together enough to gather her official documents and make sure they were with her, when her parents don't seem to be able to keep any kind of order. That's a pretty good accomplishment.

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