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The nicest thing about "the holidays" is the end of them. i dread them (starting with Halloween), cringe at most of the stuff, and then I am relieved when I have survived New Year's Eve, horns and all. The maudlin emotions in endless print ads, hundreds of hard sell emails, tv specials, some overdone decorating, non stop carols, and the exclusion of those who are not in a good space emotionally is rather terrible for me. And there is terrific financial pressure on many who cannot afford to be generous.



I am in a good situation these days but I know many who are not... and I was once one of them. To all of you who are just surviving, just barely, and celebrating no snow as it means less fuel oil and shoveling and salt purchases... I was there. My greatest joy is to be able to be generous to those who really need it and to make someone's day and create a little space of lack of financial fear and anxiety.



I still find a heavy snow quite magic and the smell of a fireplace inviting, but what was once quite unique and looked forward to seems to have changed for me dramatically. I wish I could recapture some of it, or perhaps just its illusion... I still love decorating a tree now and then and having people over for a special dinner but the drama of dashed expectations has taken its toll...and more and more I hear the same from others.



Am I the only Scrooge on here or are there others who are thankful for what they have but wish that it was not so institutionalized?



I do apologize to any who are offended by this but I wonder how many others here share some of these feelings...anyone with small children who still believe in magic are exempted from this discussion!


Edited by mizliz1011
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I have never been pressured into anything and do not succumb to the ad bombardments, to me the Holidays are just another set of days in the year. One does not have to be dictated to by the masses. I do not fault anyone who is drawn into all the hub bub either its personal choice.. Happy New Year :wave:

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I love the sentiment you put out there Liz.

 

We drive to MIL's (with dog. 10 hours) for turkey day. DW flies to MIL's for Christmas. MIL is 84. DW needs to do that. It is all good!

 

DW always asks me if we are doing Christmas decorations before she leaves. Ummm, NO! Decorate, she'll fly out, she'll fly back, undecorated. Hell no.

 

After Christmas to New Years is us. That is also our anniversary. That is our special time. I make steak and lobster on New Years eve. We have a special champagne. We do Eggs Benedict and mimosas for breakfast on New Years Day.

 

Post Halloween thru post Christmas can get stressful and/or separate. But, then end/beginning of the year becomes awesome! We live in the south, but do get to use the fireplace (which is awesome).

 

So, your post made me ramble. Thanks for that :yahoo:

Edited by dilligaf
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I agree that the holiday's can be either stressful or enjoyable, (depending on how you think about them).

 

The main route to enjoying them is to find a way to enjoy the good, and ignore the bad without dwelling on it.

 

I remember a great line I once read in a Tom Clancy book, "Face it, once you stop believing in Santa Claus, life is all downhill".

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It shouldn't take Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's to bring family and friends together.

 

But unfortunately, sometimes that is exactly what it takes.

 

So in that regards, the holidays are a good thing, in a screwed up sort of way.

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There's always a silver lining.

 

Christmas in China is pure sh!t. Always has been, always will be.

 

This year went to Shanghai. Some acquaintances asked us to join them for an evening on the local waterfront, but I know better so we declined. Two of the acquaintances didn't survive the night.

 

A sucky Chinese Christmas could have been a hell of a lot suckier.

 

There's always a silver lining.

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The nicest thing about "the holidays" is the end of them. i dread them

 

 

+100

 

I have never been pressured into anything and do not succumb to the ad bombardments, to me the Holidays are just another set of days in the year. One does not have to be dictated to by the masses. I do not fault anyone who is drawn into all the hub bub either its personal choice.. Happy New Year :wave:

 

As someone who works for themselves, selling merchandise online, I am absolutely dictated by the masses. Despite my lack of "celebration", I am stuck dealing with longer delivery times, insane lines at the post office, bank holidays (when you live paycheck to paycheck and paychecks arrive daily a mid-week holiday is brutal), shortened business hours, closed businesses, etc, etc, etc

 

January 2nd is the best holiday all year long!

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Well, as much as I'd like to agree with what I just read, I can't. The holidays are a time to celebrate in whatever way you feel comfortable. Small family or a large... single, married, kids or no kids there is something about these weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years that do bring *something* special that does not occur during the rest of the year. Deciding what's important together also helps. For some it's all the commercial red, gold and green everywhere with fancy gifts and shopping. For others it IS knowing they will get together for that one or two days with family or friends that often don't see each other (or at least not enough). Some people just appreciate the break from work or school with the extra time off. The weather changes for most. You get to put that old favorite leather or that fluffy fake fur coat on. Light a pumpkin spice candle.. there is so many things to remember from the holidays past to reminisce about. People who may not be around anymore, maybe moved away or just moved on to a "better place". My family celebrates but we don't spend money to celebrate, we spend time.. but that's us. We put up trees and have way to many decorations out but most were collected and brought out every year, but that's how we do it. We're not overtly religious but know what the meaning of Christmas is.

 

The stress of the holidays are what you allow it to be.

 

I'd like to share something with all of you. My family was just getting back to normal since my Sister passed away suddenly at 48 years old just two years ago. It had already been tough on my family as my Dad died suddenly not long before. My Sister was always the ring leader of the holidays.. This year, the decorations were up again, trees lit and we were gathering gifts again (we have a 16 years old gift/age limit). Four days before Christmas, my Mother passed away. She was at our family home, in a chair, watching TV. She just drifted away. This was not expected in any way. She was only 68. We gathered on Christmas, what is left of us to be together.. and to watch the little ones open presents and watch THEIR joy and share in their happiness... because we, the stressed out tire and sad adults needed that.. to be reminded of the happiness that can come from celebrating..... and just being together.

 

Some of you may have seen post or thread of mine mentioning my recent marriage. Early December.. supposed to be a great Holiday. Buried my Mother this past Monday, next to my Father and my Sister. New Years had it's own unique set of issues as we spent New Years Eve and Morning waiting for my 16 year old Autistic Nephew to come out of a 7 hour emergency surgery after accidentally putting his arm through a window ... he severed his artery and nearly died and my other Sister, my only remaining immediate family member.. with her quick thinking saved his life and the surgery saved his arm..

 

Still found a way to drink a glass of champagne on new years night instead.. just because we still had each other.. and wanted to celebrate, and be together.. be family.

Edited by fury1995
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The nicest thing about "the holidays" is the end of them. i dread them (starting with Halloween), cringe at most of the stuff, and then I am relieved when I have survived New Year's Eve, horns and all. The maudlin emotions in endless print ads, hundreds of hard sell emails, tv specials, some overdone decorating, non stop carols, and the exclusion of those who are not in a good space emotionally is rather terrible for me. And there is terrific financial pressure on many who cannot afford to be generous.

I am in a good situation these days but I know many who are not... and I was once one of them. To all of you who are just surviving, just barely, and celebrating no snow as it means less fuel oil and shoveling and salt purchases... I was there. My greatest joy is to be able to be generous to those who really need it and to make someone's day and create a little space of lack of financial fear and anxiety.

I still find a heavy snow quite magic and the smell of a fireplace inviting, but what was once quite unique and looked forward to seems to have changed for me dramatically. I wish I could recapture some of it, or perhaps just its illusion... I still love decorating a tree now and then and having people over for a special dinner but the drama of dashed expectations has taken its toll...and more and more I hear the same from others.

Am I the only Scrooge on here or are there others who are thankful for what they have but wish that it was not so institutionalized?

I do apologize to any who are offended by this but I wonder how many others here share some of these feelings...anyone with small children who still believe in magic are exempted from this discussion!

 

 

To be honest, I really agree with you here. I've grown to be pretty indifferent towards holidays in general and just appreciate the fact that I'm able to spend more time with family and have some days off. Good points.

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I forgot to make my point in all of that post.

 

Above all of the stress of the holday season.. there is a reason for it all.

 

When you figure out what that reason is, all that stress goes away.

 

Happy Holidays.

^^^ This! I like this post! I agree 100%

 

 

+100

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I'm just looking forward to sending the kids back to school and getting a normal day to day schedule back. So tired of people not being at work, projects getting delayed, orders getting tied up do to everyone's shopping, and everyone taking time off. This time of year sucks for operating a business! Other than that I do enjoy the holidays and its my birthday month :)

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Well, as much as I'd like to agree with what I just read, I can't. The holidays are a time to celebrate in whatever way you feel comfortable. Small family or a large... single, married, kids or no kids there is something about these weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years that do bring *something* special that does not occur during the rest of the year. Deciding what's important together also helps. For some it's all the commercial red, gold and green everywhere with fancy gifts and shopping. For others it IS knowing they will get together for that one or two days with family or friends that often don't see each other (or at least not enough). Some people just appreciate the break from work or school with the extra time off. The weather changes for most. You get to put that old favorite leather or that fluffy fake fur coat on. Light a pumpkin spice candle.. there is so many things to remember from the holidays past to reminisce about. People who may not be around anymore, maybe moved away or just moved on to a "better place". My family celebrates but we don't spend money to celebrate, we spend time.. but that's us. We put up trees and have way to many decorations out but most were collected and brought out every year, but that's how we do it. We're not overtly religious but know what the meaning of Christmas is.

 

The stress of the holidays are what you allow it to be.

 

I'd like to share something with all of you. My family was just getting back to normal since my Sister passed away suddenly at 48 years old just two years ago. It had already been tough on my family as my Dad died suddenly not long before. My Sister was always the ring leader of the holidays.. This year, the decorations were up again, trees lit and we were gathering gifts again (we have a 16 years old gift/age limit). Four days before Christmas, my Mother passed away. She was at our family home, in a chair, watching TV. She just drifted away. This was not expected in any way. She was only 68. We gathered on Christmas, what is left of us to be together.. and to watch the little ones open presents and watch THEIR joy and share in their happiness... because we, the stressed out tire and sad adults needed that.. to be reminded of the happiness that can come from celebrating..... and just being together.

 

Some of you may have seen post or thread of mine mentioning my recent marriage. Early December.. supposed to be a great Holiday. Buried my Mother this past Monday, next to my Father and my Sister. New Years had it's own unique set of issues as we spent New Years Eve and Morning waiting for my 16 year old Autistic Nephew to come out of a 7 hour emergency surgery after accidentally putting his arm through a window ... he severed his artery and nearly died and my other Sister, my only remaining immediate family member.. with her quick thinking saved his life and the surgery saved his arm..

 

Still found a way to drink a glass of champagne on new years night instead.. just because we still had each other.. and wanted to celebrate, and be together.. be family.

 

I forgot to make my point in all of that post.

 

Above all of the stress of the holday season.. there is a reason for it all.

 

When you figure out what that reason is, all that stress goes away.

 

Happy Holidays.

 

 

 

 

Yes, sir. That's the way I celebrate too!

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To reflect on my downer post, two of the people with whom I spent last Christmas season died, one who was in a nursing home after a stroke and one by unknown causes, relating to alcohol, and my sister is terminally ill...I have a friend who is about to turn 70 who was just saved (by me) from losing her rent stabilized apartment in NYC because she could not raise the past due rent... and I don't see how she won't get back into that position.

 

I guess I think about all of the money spent on a lot of the BS and I think of children in other countries and this one as well who could use some food security and medical treatment and education... and I wish that we could focus on making those children not being subject to disease, war, poverty, and lack of clean drinking water. If everyone took 50% of what they spent on Christmas and put it towards those issues that would be more of the Christmas spirit to me...

 

However, when my daughter was young, I did loving having the tree and cooking the big dinner and filling the stocking...I probably went a bit overboard and I hope that she retains those good memories. It was a lot of stress, however...and most people I know feel stressed out still long after their children are grown.

 

its a lot like weddings... I used to cater and host weddings at a venue in the Hamptons and it did lose its lustre after the 25th or so. Again,endless money issues and family conflict and huge expectations...I used to host a fairly formal New Years Eve dinner and that might be a way for me to entertain again without quite the pressure of the Christmas presents, etc.

 

Thanks for all of the positive posts that were contrary...Its good to see that some people are keeping it in perspective and finding the real spirit.

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My birthday is a couple days before Halloween- all the years of black and orange themed birthday parties kind of ruined it for me. Do what I need to for the kids, but I'm definitely not in love with the concept of Halloween

 

Thanksgiving I could also do without. Would rather stay home and watch football.

 

I like Christmas well enough, though I sure hope the eight year old is done with the Santa thing. I would love nothing more than to permanently pack away that creepy damn elf that you have to move nightly. I touched that little b@stard this year because he fell over....well, in case you didn't know, that's a huge No No. ManofB, the Christmas a**hole.

 

 

New Years is ok. We have some friends over, imbibe a bit, and be generally thankful we made it another year with our health and sanity in check.

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