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cv91915

Words, Phrases and Other Stuff that Annoys Me

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3 hours ago, IndyPoolPlayer said:

DW gets a text from her niece. DW then starts freaking out.

 

DW: "Umm this boyfriend of hers proposed to her and they haven't been going out that long"

Me: "Nuh-uh. No way."

DW: starts reading me the text then mentions her niece spelled proposed wrong

Me: "How did she spell it?"

DW: "P-R-O-M-P-O-S-E-D so what does that mean?"

Me - sensing the stupid emanating from DW right about now: "That means he asked her to the prom"

DW: "But prom was back in April"

Me: "The next one. You do realize proms are like Christmas they come around every year"

By then DW was going into vapor lock

Why plan so far in advance?  You can drink until you throw up any night of the year.

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3 hours ago, cv91915 said:

Why plan so far in advance?  You can drink until you throw up any night of the year.

Not with that bunch. It's a bunch of homeschooled Jesus freaks.

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9 hours ago, IndyPoolPlayer said:

Not with that bunch. It's a bunch of homeschooled Jesus freaks.

When I was in school, those were generally the drunks and the sluts (two of my favorite things).

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5 hours ago, cv91915 said:

When I was in school, those were generally the drunk sluts...

fixed that to show my favorite thing...

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Not really an annoyance, but I don't want to create it's own thread.

 

My morning routine consists of going to the same Shell station every morning. I was greeted by a new employee. Not the usual white trash or ghetto fabulous types I'm used to seeing.

 

I now have a thai ladyboy selling me gas and cigarettes in the morning. The change of scenery is a nice change. He can pronounce not only words, but complete sentences compared to the other riffraff working there. 

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Observation: women who dye their hair shocking colors (crimson, purple, pink) tend to board with Group 7 or later.

 

 

Edited by cv91915

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7 hours ago, cv91915 said:

Observation: women who dye their hair shocking colors (crimson, purple, pink) tend to board with Group 7 or later.

Followup to your observation: Morbidly obese people are usually the last to board, and are seated in Economy.

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AoTD: DW discovered the part of the Amazon app that allows her to track the delivery driver. For the past 30 minutes she's been staring at her phone and giving me a turn by turn report of the Amazon truck. Worse than an 8-year-old tracking Santa with NORAD for the first time. Eeeee gads!

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This house hasn't been cleaned since before I left for San Diego on 11/15. 

 

This morning we briefly discussed whether or not we own a vacuum cleaner, and after some trial and error one was located.

 

Prior to an hour ago I don't think I've operated a full-size vacuum in at least five years.  

 

I don't like it at all.

 

 

Edited by cv91915

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On 12/27/2018 at 11:59 AM, cv91915 said:

Observation: women who dye their hair shocking colors (crimson, purple, pink) tend to board with Group 7 or later.

 

 

Not all of us ;)

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On 12/27/2018 at 4:09 PM, IndyPoolPlayer said:

Followup to your observation: Morbidly obese people are usually the last to board, and are seated in Economy.

My worst nightmare. Several years ago I boarded a commuter flight in California on one of those Canadair regional jets and found a fat man in the seat next to me with the arm rest pulled up so his blubber can spill into my space. I then squeezed in. All was not lost. It wasn't a full flight so the flight attendant asked for volunteers in the front rows to move to the back for better weight distribution. I used all my might to dislodge my arm that was pressed against him. I raised it sky high. I got to move next to a nice thin woman in back.  :)

 

I also took an overseas flight to Germany a couple years ago. There was this big, and I mean really big, guy across the aisle from me. He got two seats to himself next to the window. I'm sure he didn't get up once to use the restroom. I don't know how he did that. If he had to go, I don't think he could fit through the door.

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1 hour ago, Pam said:

Not all of us ;)

Good lord.  

Edited by cv91915

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On 12/28/2018 at 7:57 PM, IndyPoolPlayer said:

AoTD: DW discovered the part of the Amazon app that allows her to track the delivery driver. For the past 30 minutes she's been staring at her phone and giving me a turn by turn report of the Amazon truck. Worse than an 8-year-old tracking Santa with NORAD for the first time. Eeeee gads!

Post the last five things that Amazon delivered for DW.  Links please.  :wave: 

 

Might end up being a good starting point for "Master List of Things IndyPoolPlayer's Wife Ordered from Amazon Recently."

 

I smell entertainment.  👃 

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25 minutes ago, cv91915 said:

Good lord.  

This is the worst picture of my face, but it shows my hair nicely.  I'm lucky I work in an industry where this is not only allowed but people love it.

 

This was taken in the Admiral's Club in CLT.

 

image.png.fbc83c0db0e673ef8a33e11b62f59e40.png

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14 minutes ago, Pam said:

This is the worst picture of my face, but it shows my hair nicely.  I'm lucky I work in an industry where this is not only allowed but people love it.

 

This was taken in the Admiral's Club in CLT.

 

image.png.fbc83c0db0e673ef8a33e11b62f59e40.png

That is a terrible picture of your face.  There's a giant black disc eating it!!!

 

The hair is tastefully done.  I'd let you board with Group 3.  :lol:  

 

I was talking about people you'd stop in the street and ask for directions to the clown college.

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15 minutes ago, cv91915 said:

That is a terrible picture of your face.  There's a giant black disc eating it!!!

 

The hair is tastefully done.  I'd let you board with Group 3.  :lol:  

 

I was talking about people you'd stop in the street and ask for directions to the clown college.

Just group 3?  :D 

 

I know what you meant - you can definitely tell the difference between people who do their own purple/pink/red/blue and those who spend 5+ hours every 3 months sitting in chair being painted by an artist.  It's in the depth and variations in the color.  Having said that, I have seen those who are surprised by any status that I hold, looks I didn't get when my hair was blonde or brown.

 

 

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This isn't exactly what I meant either, but I would like to take the opportunity to say that on my airline, Jan Crouch, regardless of status or fare paid, would have been seated all the way in the back, right across from the crapper.

 

crouch-jan-2-e1465319624550.jpg

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Sometimes I dress the opposite of what some think a first class passenger should look like. Think cousin Eddie from the vacation movies. Or Al Czervik....aka Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack.

 

Besides the constant stares, once in awhile someone in a suit will try to strike up a conversation.

 

Pam- the next time you are in the CLT Admirals Club, and you see someone who raided Herb Tarliks wardrobe, it might be me.

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4 hours ago, Pam said:

This is the worst picture of my face, but it shows my hair nicely.  I'm lucky I work in an industry where this is not only allowed but people love it.

 

This was taken in the Admiral's Club in CLT.

 

image.png.fbc83c0db0e673ef8a33e11b62f59e40.png

Did you take that picture right in the middle of a total solar eclipse? 

 

Those darn solar eclipses always seem to get in the way of taking a good picture. ;)

Edited by Burgerwars

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