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Dear Santa,

 

Please remove my Fartgo repo and make my EO dispute with Crap 1 delete the 2 crap accounts incorrectly reporting. Can you also talk my wife into liking something else other than cashmere because she is going to ruin your's and my credit again this Christmas. Oh and peace on earth and blah blah blah....

 

Yours after six beers and three shots,

 

Funk

 

Ps: Sorry, all we had last year was soy milk and the store was closed.

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Dear Santa,

 

While you are blowing up Midland (with no people inside), could you also make it rain reindeer poop over at administrative offices of Univ. of Phoenix. Those bastards are making my life miserable with this unjustifiable CO.

 

I'll be good the rest of the year AND I'll make sure that instead of milk, you get a jack and coke on the rocks. And maybe a stripper in a Mrs. Claus suit (not me, of course).

 

Love,

Lakegro

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