In a bad situation, and wondering if anyone has any advice.

[moriah]

It's hard to talk about, but I have both mental and physical health problems that have made my doctors recommend that I apply for Social Security Disability (three hospitalizations in a year). I am working a small amount from home, but barely enough to keep paying on my car and pay my rent (I have a very generous roommate who is barely charging me anything). (Edit to add: My job had no choice but to let me go after the second hospitalization last August, and my emergency fund is gone after a year of expenses and medical bills.)

While I have been able to be seen for my physical problems, the mental health care services in my community are strapped. I'm extremely depressed, and pretty much unless things get bad enough that I have no choice but to go inpatient, there are more people in more need ahead of me -- they can see me about the time the Affordable Care Act will kick in -- and I really want to avoid having to go inpatient. I'd rather get it addressed before it gets to that point.... and I have to admit, it's getting close. My physical doctor doesn't feel comfortable addressing mood disorders, and I understand that.

 

I've posted an ad on Craigslist to see if there are any docs reading who will take a pro-bono case. The only doctors that have openings soon all charge a great deal of money. I've also got issues with getting my car re-registered this year. I have bad enough anxiety driving without risking a misdemeanor if I get pulled over for expired tags, and I have to get to the doctor.

Does anyone else have any suggestions for a way to get treatment before inpatient treatment is necessary? I'm in Arkansas, and I've called all the clinics that receive community mental health block grants to do sliding-scale... they're all booked solid.

Edited November 8, 2013 by moriah

[stroked89coupe]

There may be additional programs available in your community. You should try to check on that. Unfortunatly I dont have any leads for you. Others may. Posting this really shows your true character. Hang in there and keep a positive attitude and you will get the help you need. Your on yhe right track.

[moriah]

There may be additional programs available in your community. You should try to check on that. Unfortunatly I dont have any leads for you. Others may. Posting this really shows your true character. Hang in there and keep a positive attitude and you will get the help you need. Your on yhe right track.

Thank you, I am continuing to look, but one thing that I am afraid of is that because of the severity of the depression, the only way they may be able to get me treatment at all IS inpatient, if that's the only way to escalate the case. I am not giving up looking, but if I go inpatient I know I will not have access to a computer on unit, I won't even be able to do the small amount of work I've been able to do (search engine rating). That may cost me this job, and it took me this long to find it... without that, I'm even worse off.

 

And it's possible that's where I need to be. I'll put it like this. I'm absolutely, positively determined that I will not end my life. I've seen what it's done to others, even if the bad brain chemicals are telling me the people around me would be better off in the end. I've helped put a friend involuntarily inpatient when he expressed intent and proved that intent by attempting to purchase a firearm. But that's how I feel now, and while I've never made an attempt it's because I'm not into making others worry about me -- one thing I've used to talk myself out of those kind of thoughts is that most attempts never actually work anyway, and all they do is make the people around you feel guilty when it's nothing at all that's their fault. That's not what I want.

[LKH]

In my state, the county attorney has a program for people in similar situations where they pay at least part, if not all of their expenses. PM me and I'll give you more details.

[Cosmos Human]

Are you near a university that has a teaching hospital? Is there a free clinic near to you?

[moriah]

Are you near a university that has a teaching hospital? Is there a free clinic near to you?

 

UAMS is the teaching hospital near me, and they're affiliated with the Community Mental Health Center for that area. Sadly, I'm out of their "catchment area" for the community mental health block grants. They have enough funding and would be able to get me in faster (they do have a crisis intervention group that will try to work with you on outpatient basis), but since their money comes only for their residents.... I don't qualify to go there.

[ICANHASMUNY?]

don't know if you're currently on any meds;

 

if your not, then St John's Wort may alleviate some of the depression

 

it's on the shelf at the health food stores - and there was actual blind studies done in Europe that showed it was just as effective as prescription anti-depressants / Prozac.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1072414/St-Johns-Wort-plant-effective-Prozac-treating-depression-say-scientists.html

 

it doesn't get as good reviews in the states, but I think part of that is the Pharmaceutical industry is in every doctors pocket here.

 

Theanine with relora is great for anxiety

 

May not be the cure all, no promises, but it may help you get through this easier.

 

research the side effects; there are some.

[moriah]

Thank you hon, I appreciate it. Sorry, I finally was exhausted enough yesterday that I got to sleep, and just now woke up to check this. Because my regular doctor does not feel comfortable prescribing psych meds, I have been taking SJW, but it's not really doing a lot for the really bad brain chemicals that are making me feel things I know rationally aren't true. It may be that I need a bigger whomp on the serotonin receptors, or it might be the only thing keeping me reminded that someday, somehow, it *will* get better.

[Labyrinthine]

Have you contacted your local department of health and human services? You can also try contacting local homeless shelters and food banks - they often maintain lists of mental health resources in the community. Try churches, universities, public schools, the local city council, If all else fails, contact a hospital and let them know you need help and have been unable to find it elsewhere. They often have support groups or might be able to direct you elsewhere.

 

There are options. Sometimes they are hard to find, but never give up. Your mental health is worth it.

[moriah]

Thanks. I've checked out the options that I've found so far, though I'm continuing to look. The issue is that the mental health services system is very very overstressed right now, and I'm outside of the main Central Arkansas "catchment area" for block grants. I posted an ad on Craigslist asking if there were any private psychiatrists who would work with a sliding scale, maybe someone might see it.

 

If I lived in Little Rock, I know I could get the help... but I don't, and now a new stressor has come up as my roommate's ex is giving him grief over not wanting him to let me live here. He only has the girls every other weekend, and they seem to like me (we're not dating). This is the best rent deal I've been able to find, though, and I don't know if I'll be able to find another this good.

[breeze]

I came of age in the 60's - yeah it's true - and had a friend with severe disabling depression. They didn't have the drugs they have now. Her doctor told her to try taking L Tyrosine as a supplement. I don't know if it always helps but might be worth a try, if you don't get enough for your meds via your facebook page.

 

FYI we allow long term members to link to facebook pages in their signatures if they want to. You can also use the facebook interface to put CB content on your FB page.

 

Whatever you had there before is gone anyway. If you need help with your siggy let me know.

[moriah]

I came of age in the 60's - yeah it's true - and had a friend with severe disabling depression. They didn't have the drugs they have now. Her doctor told her to try taking L Tyrosine as a supplement. I don't know if it always helps but might be worth a try, if you don't get enough for your meds via your facebook page.

 

FYI we allow long term members to link to facebook pages in their signatures if they want to. You can also use the facebook interface to put CB content on your FB page.

 

Whatever you had there before is gone anyway. If you need help with your siggy let me know.

 

Thanks, I took your advice, and also found a linkie for my old cat that had broken before.

 

[nikky]

I sent you a pm

[cashnocredit]

moriah,

 

I'm struck by two things.

 

1. You express yourself clearly. Your language skills are excellent and well above average.

2. I'm not at all sure the principal issue is depression. Many famous, talented writers have had similar bouts. You might find some solace in their experiences.

 

Good luck to you.

[CTSMOM01]

Don't have anything to add, but wanted to let you know that you are thought of. Hoping you get the treatment you need

[breeze]

moriah,

 

I'm struck by two things.

 

1. You express yourself clearly. Your language skills are excellent and well above average.

2. I'm not at all sure the principal issue is depression. Many famous, talented writers have had similar bouts. You might find some solace in their experiences.

 

Good luck to you.

 

It's post traumatic stress.

[Cosmos Human]

 

moriah,

 

I'm struck by two things.

 

1. You express yourself clearly. Your language skills are excellent and well above average.

2. I'm not at all sure the principal issue is depression. Many famous, talented writers have had similar bouts. You might find some solace in their experiences.

 

Good luck to you.

 

It's post traumatic stress.

 

I agree. MH care I know is hard to get. I hear this everyday...waiting lists of months. There are no easy answers.

[knotbrace]

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you get the treatment you need soon. You can ask your local department of health, maybe they can help you.

[Tigz]

Have you and your roommate discussed options for when his children visit?
Perhaps you can go elsewhere while the children are visiting. That should put to rest any concerns that the children's mother may have.
Granted, it would be a pain, but at the same time, it will allow you to keep living there.

[moriah]

Sorry guys. I went ahead and went inpatient Sunday night.

When I asked a friend. if I could possibly stay the night, since the Crisis Line I contacted said not to be alone but my roommate already had plans made a month ago to be gone that night, she couldn't, but having been there knew that meant I really ought to go inpatient. Admitted Sunday afternoon, discharged Thursday evening, just now got enough energy to use the computer. They've changed my medications, though one is over $1000 to fill (fortunately they gave me 14 days of samples of it -- 2mg of Abilify to amplify the new antidepressant). I'm trying to apply for the patient assistance program.

Because of the admission they're able to escalate therapy, but not necessarily medication maintenance. I'm searching everywhere for a shrink that has an opening that's cheaper. I'm so looking forward to the ACA. I've had a pretty tough time finding a psychiatrist even when I had insurance, but it'll be easier since my state signed up for the Medicaid expansion. They're also filling out a Medicaid application for me to try to get the hospital stay paid for at least, even if it won't give me full Medicaid.

[moriah]

Have you and your roommate discussed options for when his children visit?

Perhaps you can go elsewhere while the children are visiting. That should put to rest any concerns that the children's mother may have.

Granted, it would be a pain, but at the same time, it will allow you to keep living there.

 

Yeah, but this next visitation that's going to be very difficult because without a registered car I can't drive many places, and my boyfriend has to study for tests that weekend, and write lab reports.... BF was not happy. he just learned about the two tests, because he'd hoped to reduce that worry.

[cocomad]

Hope all works out for you Moriah. Long time no see. This is something that is needed, more help for depression. It's real as other illnesses. I live in Ct. And Sandy Hook was a wake up here, but there still needs to be a lot done. There are groups that give rides to people who need to make doctors appointments.

[cocomad]

Oh I hope you get the Medicaid approval, they will give cabs and medical passes to get to your appointments. Check and see if there is a group called Americares in you area, they may be able to help until you get insured. Check with Catholic Charities to see if they can help or point you in the direction you need to get your medications. God bless you!