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Daycare issue - I need to talk this out


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Oh brother, I didn't realize how long this was going to be. Sorry. Hang in there!

 

My son currently goes to a home daycare. He has been there since he was born.

 

Except for a little stretch where I thought that the grass may be greener, but I found out it wasn't, so I moved him back.

 

When DD (7 years ago) started there she had quite a few kids. Over the years kids have grown up and started school, and with the economy people have been losing their jobs and no longer need child care. Now my DS is 1/3 kids and he is the only one FT. The other girls are there Wed/Thurs/Friday. Up until two weeks ago there were two boys too but because of a job loss they don't come now.

 

The last few years has been a struggle for us with money. Last winter my DH wasn't working and was on unemployment. HDCP expects to be paid in full to hold his spot, which I understand. We pay her about $550.00 p/m, which is pretty cheap - especially when he was a baby. But it's a lot when you're missing half of your HH income.

 

Anyway, we asked to go to part-time and on an as needed basis last winter. She didn't like that idea and wasn't interested in a drop in situation on days that my DH could find work.

 

She said that we could switch to PT but she would be closed on Mondays, because my DS was the only one there that day. We couldn't commit to that either because what if DH got called for work on a Monday? I certainly can't take off. We continued to pay her the FT rate regardless of whether he attended or not and we stuck it out because we didn't want to lose her.

 

Fast forward to now:

 

DH is working FT (I hope for good, it's a construction thing so we don't know if it's permanent with this company. He's in the union and floats if there are jobs available - sometimes not)

 

My DS is all alone with her M/T and he is with two little girls W/T/F. I decided that since he is alone I would sign him up for preschool. He could meet new kids, make little friends and I thought it would be fun for him. I found a 2 day program Tues/Thurs and 30 seconds from my work. They have awesome hours which will allow me to be a little more flexible with staying later at work to help out. In July we extended our business hours and instead of leaving one hour before close, I leave two and a half hours before we close now, because I need to pick up my kids.

 

This morning I talked to HDCP about it and she said it was "my business" and "whatever I decided". She seemed okay and I was pretty excited!

 

Well, I picked the kids up this afternoon and she's changed her mind. She decided that if he isn't FT anymore she is going to be closed Monday & Tuesday, even though she knows damn well I need her on Mondays. It's either M/W/F preschool or T/T. She knows this because I told her that this morning. Either option I choose leaves me 1 day w/o childcare.

 

She said that if she is going to be losing money by him not coming as often she doesn't want to waste money on electricity for 2 less days a week. :) It would actually only be ONE because I'd be paying her for the day she was watching him and the girls are there Thursday so the "electricity" would be on anyway.

 

I'm taking this personally and I can't help it. Now I'm aggravated. I feel like she is strong arming me into keeping him out of preschool and it pisses me off. I paid her all winter when DS really wasn't there and now she does this to me?

 

If I put him in FT preschool it would be $65.00 more per week, and I'm not sure that we could comfortably swing that. Especially when I don't know what's going on with work for DH. I appreciate her but this is making me mad. I feel like she is getting to make decisions for my kid. It's her business and all but for goodness sake we just extended our hours at work to be more convenient for people and I am paying her so I feel like she should be a little more flexible with me.

 

She is really strict and kind of like, my way or the highway - with the kids and the parents.

 

I don't know what to do! I don't want to lose her but I don't appreciate what she is doing here.

 

WWYD?

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Agree with everyone else.

 

How old is he now? I am presuming 3ish or just about 4?

 

Check with the other daycares and see what they have available. (Of course, check them out thoroughly). The more children, the more social interaction, and possibly more extensive learning situations. Of course, along with that, there will be more illnesses...but he will be exposed to that in preschool anyway.

 

She may be a "my way or highway" sort of person....or she might just be bluffing on a bet that you don't want to lose her and will continue paying full price.

 

You may want to consider your local Head Start program as well.

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What is she doing for him to make it worth the hassle??

 

will he learn & make friends in her care?? doesnt sound like it.....

 

Im inclined to say put him in Pre School and find other PT care elsewhere....

 

she will regret the loss of income

 

 

This.

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My guess is there are other fish in the sea....I'm sure there are many other home providers that have loss business just as she has and would be more than happy to take you in if you need it. Sounds like this current arrangement just isn't working anymore. Time to move on.

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This is the kind of crap that kept DH and I from having more children. Childcare was the biggest stressor in our lives for years!

 

I know you and DS are used to this woman, but I think it's time to move on. I had a few sitters that acted like I worked for them and forgot they worked for ME. She's counting on you to back down and she needs the money. I'd call her bluff and make other arrangements. Good luck to you, I don't envy you this at all!!!

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What is she doing for him to make it worth the hassle??

 

will he learn & make friends in her care?? doesnt sound like it.....

 

Im inclined to say put him in Pre School and find other PT care elsewhere....

 

she will regret the loss of income

 

 

yep

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I think I'd decide what I'm willing to pay, $x amount for whichever days you need, maybe a small bump in the daily rate and tell her to take it or leave it, or else you'll find someone else who will be glad to get the money.

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Well, I feel better today.

 

I asked her one more time if she was 100% sure that she couldn't accommodate his preschool schedule, and she said no.

 

I'm signing him up for T/T school anyway. My SIL said that she would watch him on Mondays.

 

Instead of losing only 2 days now, HDCP is losing 3. Whatever she wants.

 

I don't want to leave there all together because my son loves her, and she loves him. He'll just go two days a week for now. If he loves preschool I'll gradually move him out of the HDC.

 

Thanks for all of the thoughts!

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which daycare were you thinking of putting him in? that sounds REALLY expensive...at least for around our area...

 

 

also, be careful with the "Chain" daycares...in a lot of cases they're HORRIBLE...

 

 

if you were a little closer I'd have a wonderful one to recommend for you...

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Not all chains are horrible. That is a misnomer. Of course when dealing with a chain it is like dealing with a hotel....many franchise out, so one hotel may be great, another may be horrible.

 

I *believe* that La Petite franchises their name out. There was one in Jax that was really good, yet there was another one that I wouldn't send a dog to.

 

The important thing is to research any prospective place and get copies of their inspections from the State.

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