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Sadeyes

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Hello again all!!!! Missed you madly!

 

I need my CB'ers input. I didn't think posting this question on FB would be a good idea since those are ppl I know IRL..and they will be NO help!! LOL.

 

So I have been very much out of the dating scene since the last time I was posting about the guy that kept standing me up a couple years back. After that whole mess I decided to take a break from the relationship scene and just focus on me. Well to be honest, that break turned into a 2 year disconnect from the world and quite frankly I am bored! Now where I live it is not easy to meet new people, and it doesn't help that I am a home-work-home-work type of girl.

 

So my questions are these, for those of you in the dating scene.

 

1) How do you meet new people? 2) Where do you meet new people? 3) Why is everyman I meet married??? and ok with being unfaithful???

 

I swear that third question is just a vent. lol...I have some married men very interested in me and I throw up a little bit in my mouth every time they try to court me.

 

WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE, EDUCATED MEN, AND HOW DO I GET ONE?

 

ok, discuss :rolleyes:

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CB? :lol:

 

:rofl:

 

Hell if I know. Seriously I hated that dating mess/circus.

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

no seriously, I have nothing.....I am old enough to date your mom. :) Tell her welcome to the 50's club.

Edited by texasdad

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CB? :)

 

:rofl:

 

Hell if I know. Seriously I hated that dating mess/circus.

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

no seriously, I have nothing.....I am old enough to date your mom. :) Tell her welcome to the 50's club.

 

 

HAHAHA!!! Gee thanks guys!!! :lol:

 

I will pass on the message Texasdad!

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er...I'm dating now...after years of giving up on men who don't treat a girl right. I was introduced to him by my best friend from grade school. it helps that she knew him for 25 years and can vouch for his character. he treats me like a queen! :rofl:

 

AND I'm in my 50's now... don't give up hope...you'll find someone.

 

hang in there!

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They say don't meet people at work, but that's where I always seemed to meet people.

 

The internet has opened up the field considerably. I met my GF through a dating site. She doesn't live that far away from me but we work and play in completely different circles and would have absolutely never met where it not for the internet.

 

Just be careful. Lots of people misrepresent themselves on the internet, either by not being single or not looking anything like their picture or to outright lying about who they are. My best advice is to avoid emailing someone back and forth more than twice. At that point ask for a cell phone number and talk to the person.

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Well I have no helpful input on the matter....I do not like to date, never was one for it.....

 

The one girl I met on the net, we dated for 4 yrs...she turned out not to be even close to who I thought she was....

 

My current marriage is in the process of dissolving...And let me tell you, a single dad has it no easier getting a date than a single mom....And the grocery store is no picnic either...nearly as bad as shopping at Walmart... :mellow:

 

I thought of the Russian Bride services...but I think at my young age of 31 I am not seeking another female companion anytime soon!

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Honey!!!! you and me both have these same questions.

 

What irks me even more then them being married is when they WILL NOT let their past be behind them and bring it up everyday. Not only that, if you break up with someone then WTH are you still talking to them as if nothing happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I think I am going to become a NUN!

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Serial dater here.

 

Well number 1 if you are not putting yourself out there you cant expect to make connections. A miracle isnt bound to happen and the perfect guy fall into your lap with no effort.

 

If you are not a social butterfly, then try a dating sites where you are in control of the people who you get to know. eHarmony, Match, etc.

 

I personally recommend saving $$$ on dating sites and just break your work-home-work-home cycle and just select a few social events or a lounge attracting the type of crowd/professionals you desire to mingle with...highlight your natural fem attributes and enjoy yourself!!!

 

Keep it beautiful, positive, classy, easy going, selective yet friendly...the men will take notice and soon enough you are in a dating pattern and filtering down to the one-on-one situation you want.

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Actually interested in responses to this since I'm on the other side of the wall. I swear any girl I run into is married/otherwise taken.

 

That said, I honestly do not run into many given my nontraditional schedule and the fact of being a work/studyaholic.

 

A gym wouldn't be a bad idea for you, the ratio is waaay in your favor and you can be selective. Believe it or not there are some of us that are educated and are gym rats too.

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Honestly....

 

I've met a number of guys (good ones too, go figure) online. Either in a local forum or some sort of forum with a specific interest, etc. I prefer to meet people as friends, and interest-based forums have been a great way, because you're meeting someone who has a common interest.

 

Generally stay away from the bar scene and all that madness.

 

Do you like to workout? Play a sport? If you do, then maybe a gym or joining some sort of sports league might be a good idea.

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My neighbor is 58 and keeps telling me I am wasting my life by not trying to find someone. I don't feel the same way at all. Wasting? bah. The way I see it, at 40 with kids, all the available men are either 1) never married, no kids, likely won't want to go there with me/mine since they've been single too long and set in their ways, 2) divorced, with kids, likely have so much baggage with juggling kids/ex that it is a headache trying to comingle two households, 3) widowed, with kids, enough about that because it was my last relationship and it was ROUGH, unbelievably hard.

I've had experience dating one from each group and the last one did me in. I'm off the market until my kids are grown and gone, then it will be about finding someone. Or not.

 

If I were single without kids then I would volunteer in the community, go to wine tastings, go dancing, join a cooking class, sport, book club, whatever activity I would want to learn more about. Join a few forums. Guys are out there living their lives, doing their thing. Go, do, live your life and the two of you will intersect.

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Honestly....

 

I've met a number of guys (good ones too, go figure) online. Either in a local forum or some sort of forum with a specific interest, etc. I prefer to meet people as friends, and interest-based forums have been a great way, because you're meeting someone who has a common interest.

 

Generally stay away from the bar scene and all that madness.

 

Do you like to workout? Play a sport? If you do, then maybe a gym or joining some sort of sports league might be a good idea.

 

 

My neighbor is 58 and keeps telling me I am wasting my life by not trying to find someone. I don't feel the same way at all. Wasting? bah. The way I see it, at 40 with kids, all the available men are either 1) never married, no kids, likely won't want to go there with me/mine since they've been single too long and set in their ways, 2) divorced, with kids, likely have so much baggage with juggling kids/ex that it is a headache trying to comingle two households, 3) widowed, with kids, enough about that because it was my last relationship and it was ROUGH, unbelievably hard.

I've had experience dating one from each group and the last one did me in. I'm off the market until my kids are grown and gone, then it will be about finding someone. Or not.

 

If I were single without kids then I would volunteer in the community, go to wine tastings, go dancing, join a cooking class, sport, book club, whatever activity I would want to learn more about. Join a few forums. Guys are out there living their lives, doing their thing. Go, do, live your life and the two of you will intersect.

 

Yup, opening up your personality and starting off as kool & friendly...you will be surprised at how men take notice when you DONT look on the prowl. Rather just a lovely woman, with a shared interest, who seems to have a direction in life, good head, who just happens to be single and available for dating.

 

Easy & breezy, enjoy yourself & surroundings, the gentlemen you choose can peel back the layers of your story over time...be selective [you wont be attracted to all who are attracted to you], BUT keeping a friendly aloof vibe with those you cross out for 'x' reason will still spread your positive energy to new people you meet in that same place. People are watching, so this is a NACK and hopefully you have it, as it can get territorial & ugly if you are rejecting guys in a spot/event/forum you frequent and the haters spread neg word cause they couldnt get out of you what they wanted.

 

Good luck! Let us know where you start off with your plan.

Edited by Operation_Home_Ownership

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If I were single without kids then I would volunteer in the community, go to wine tastings, go dancing, join a cooking class, sport, book club, whatever activity I would want to learn more about. Join a few forums. Guys are out there living their lives, doing their thing. Go, do, live your life and the two of you will intersect.

All of that there. :lol:

 

The internet is also turning out to be a pretty useful tool for me, right about now. :lol:

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Step number 1. Date yourself! Get out of the routine of home-work-school and take yourself to dinner. As long as you make yourself approachable, they will come. A lot of them will be throw-backs, but don't fret....just throw-them back and wait for the next catch. And just relax! Don't think too hard, but THINK! And just have fun with it. Everyman you run into isn't meant to be a boyfriend, figure out his spot, put him there and keep it moving. :lol:

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Step number 1. Date yourself! Get out of the routine of home-work-school and take yourself to dinner. As long as you make yourself approachable, they will come. A lot of them will be throw-backs, but don't fret....just throw-them back and wait for the next catch. And just relax! Don't think too hard, but THINK! And just have fun with it. Everyman you run into isn't meant to be a boyfriend, figure out his spot, put him there and keep it moving. :lol:

This, too! :lol:

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What about singles retreats. Eliminates married people and they have several themes depending on what you are into. I went on singles cruise with a bunch of friends years back and we had a blast. Met lots of people and established many friendships I still maintain.

 

There's also religious based retreats also.

Edited by ericgunit

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Easy & breezy, enjoy yourself & surroundings, the gentlemen you choose can peel back the layers of your story over time...be selective [you wont be attracted to all who are attracted to you], BUT keeping a friendly aloof vibe with those you cross out for 'x' reason will still spread your positive energy to new people you meet in that same place. People are watching, so this is a NACK and hopefully you have it, as it can get territorial & ugly if you are rejecting guys in a spot/event/forum you frequent and the haters spread neg word cause they couldnt get out of you what they wanted.

 

Yes, that's the "tricky" part, that gets easier...dudes are worse than chicks when they've been rejected. So find your comfy space for letting it be known that you aren't interested in a certain type of interaction with them...just keep it classy, and who knows, WOM might cause him to send the right dude right on over to ya! Nothing like having a walking advertisement! :lol:

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Holla at Marilie. She has the art of meeting people (albeit strange, ashy ones) down pat. Her advice could change your life.

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Step number 1. Date yourself! Get out of the routine of home-work-school and take yourself to dinner. As long as you make yourself approachable, they will come. A lot of them will be throw-backs, but don't fret....just throw-them back and wait for the next catch. And just relax! Don't think too hard, but THINK! And just have fun with it. Everyman you run into isn't meant to be a boyfriend, figure out his spot, put him there and keep it moving. :lol:

This, too! :lol:

 

+2.

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If I were single without kids then I would volunteer in the community, go to wine tastings, go dancing, join a cooking class, sport, book club, whatever activity I would want to learn more about. Join a few forums. Guys are out there living their lives, doing their thing. Go, do, live your life and the two of you will intersect.

All of that there. :lol:

 

The internet is also turning out to be a pretty useful tool for me, right about now. :lol:

 

Yup, works wonderfully! BUT I recently switched over to the lounge scene. The online lying got to be too much for me, so I decided to filter face-to-face so I dont even waste the time of being shocked about the physical appearance. Its hard to focus on personality when you cant get over how the pic looks nothing like the person.

 

I selected one place where I love the people/events/professionals/vibe/music and began to be a regular on a particular night. Now when I walk in the door owner shows love, staff know my cocktail, my name, and have made "friends" there who spread the word of my good nature & personality to all those who patronize. Now men [sheesh some women too] feel comfortable to approach and chat, etc etc. Been a great social experiment and dating is comfortable and on my terms PLUS ADDED BONUS of those who know me there/work there LOOK OUT and give the dish on prospects, lol.

 

EDIT TO ADD: The approach is Dating LAB, it can be used in supplement of other methods, as it is geared to move you to being SOCIAL with a purpose, but each action proves to move you closer to a goal, not necessarily pulling a man/number each outing. We are not talking Bar Fly here.

Edited by Operation_Home_Ownership

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Holla at Marilie. She has the art of meeting people (albeit strange, ashy ones) down pat. Her advice could change your life.

:lol::lol:B)<_<<_<

 

:beee: :beee::beee::beee:

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If I were single without kids then I would volunteer in the community, go to wine tastings, go dancing, join a cooking class, sport, book club, whatever activity I would want to learn more about. Join a few forums. Guys are out there living their lives, doing their thing. Go, do, live your life and the two of you will intersect.

All of that there. :lol:

 

The internet is also turning out to be a pretty useful tool for me, right about now. :lol:

 

Yup, works wonderfully! BUT I recently switched over to the lounge scene. The online lying got to be too much for me, so I decided to filter face-to-face so I dont even waste the time of being shocked about the physical appearance. Its hard to focus on personality when you cant get over how the pic looks nothing like the person.

 

I selected one place where I love the people/events/professionals/vibe/music and began to be a regular on a particular night. Now when I walk in the door owner shows love, staff know my cocktail, my name, and have made "friends" there who spread the word of my good nature & personality to all those who patronize. Now men [sheesh some women too] feel comfortable to approach and chat, etc etc. Been a great social experiment and dating is comfortable and on my terms PLUS ADDED BONUS of those who know me there/work there LOOK OUT and give the dish on prospects, lol.

 

Girl, stop! B) I've been on the lounge bit too! <_< Although, in ATL that means a lot of resturaunts that are trying to play lounge! LOL!

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Girl, stop! :lol: I've been on the lounge bit too! :lol: Although, in ATL that means a lot of resturaunts that are trying to play lounge! LOL!

 

LOL! Read my edit, I added as you were typing.

 

Yeah, I feel you...bars & restaurants are really trying to pull in this crowd. BUT BE CLEAR a lounge is where there are plenty of soft places to sit, dancing optional not the focus, drinks with only tapas, nosh aka appetizer portions available to eat. And the location caters to a certain crowd only, so as a result you mingle only with interest if you attend on that nite...not a random anything goes interest.

 

Usually events are constantly in action, not corny girls/boys nite or stoopid club stuff BUT poetry, live music, karaoke, network events, elections, charity, etc etc are in action, so you can choose and be faithful that the owners will always deliver cause they want your "type" to patronize.

Edited by Operation_Home_Ownership

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Actually interested in responses to this since I'm on the other side of the wall. I swear any girl I run into is married/otherwise taken.

 

That said, I honestly do not run into many given my nontraditional schedule and the fact of being a work/studyaholic.

 

A gym wouldn't be a bad idea for you, the ratio is waaay in your favor and you can be selective. Believe it or not there are some of us that are educated and are gym rats too.

 

Random tip for guys - and I KEEP telling all of the homeboys this, some of you seem to not notice! :lol: If I chick smiles and says hi, gives a little pause - that is you signal to GO! :lol: I have a friend who can't seemt o get that...I saw a chick practically begging him to start up a convo with her, and he WANTED to...but couldn't seem to pick up on the vibes she was giving. GEESH! :lol:

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