Jump to content

The last post in this topic was posted 4844 days ago. 

 

We strongly encourage you to start a new post instead of replying to this one.

Recommended Posts

Thanks everyone.

 

I told DH I was going to speak with an attorney. He immediately scheduled an appointment with a therapist fully admitting he has a problem. I guess he's been thinking about this for a while too. He suggested that he move out. I think he's going to try renting a room and we're going to separate for a while. He'll stay with DS during the day. I'll pay his expenses and give him some money for gas and such since I would be paying daycare if he didn't take care of DS. Daycare would probably be cheaper, but I'll pay almost anything to try to save my marriage. When times are good, they are really good, but when they're bad --- watch out.

 

Wow, I can't believe how relatively smooth that went. Watch, he'll probably be gone with DS when I get home.

 

Would it be illegal to put a hidden camera in the house to record what he does during the day?

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Replies 62
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Thanks everyone.

 

I told DH I was going to speak with an attorney. He immediately scheduled an appointment with a therapist fully admitting he has a problem. I guess he's been thinking about this for a while too. He suggested that he move out. I think he's going to try renting a room and we're going to separate for a while. He'll stay with DS during the day. I'll pay his expenses and give him some money for gas and such since I would be paying daycare if he didn't take care of DS. Daycare would probably be cheaper, but I'll pay almost anything to try to save my marriage. When times are good, they are really good, but when they're bad --- watch out.

 

Wow, I can't believe how relatively smooth that went. Watch, he'll probably be gone with DS when I get home.

 

Would it be illegal to put a hidden camera in the house to record what he does during the day?

Typically, no. But I'd check to make sure.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks everyone.

 

I told DH I was going to speak with an attorney. He immediately scheduled an appointment with a therapist fully admitting he has a problem. I guess he's been thinking about this for a while too. He suggested that he move out. I think he's going to try renting a room and we're going to separate for a while. He'll stay with DS during the day. I'll pay his expenses and give him some money for gas and such since I would be paying daycare if he didn't take care of DS. Daycare would probably be cheaper, but I'll pay almost anything to try to save my marriage. When times are good, they are really good, but when they're bad --- watch out.

 

Wow, I can't believe how relatively smooth that went. Watch, he'll probably be gone with DS when I get home.

 

Would it be illegal to put a hidden camera in the house to record what he does during the day?

 

 

Your house? If so then NO, you can put one in...

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm still going to speak with an attorney. Not sure if we'll do legal separation or not. I suppose they would know about the legalities of a hidden camera.

 

Here a legal separation requires the SAME documents as a divorce. And it costs the same as a divorce - only $5 less... No kidding.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Would it be illegal to put a hidden camera in the house to record what he does during the day?

 

I don't THINK so... what would you be hoping to see?

 

Hopefully nothing, but ???

I'm just curious if it would be to "catch" infidelity or if you think he harms your son.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Would it be illegal to put a hidden camera in the house to record what he does during the day?

 

I don't THINK so... what would you be hoping to see?

 

Hopefully nothing, but ???

I'm just curious if it would be to "catch" infidelity or if you think he harms your son.

 

I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Would it be illegal to put a hidden camera in the house to record what he does during the day?

 

I don't THINK so... what would you be hoping to see?

 

Hopefully nothing, but ???

I'm just curious if it would be to "catch" infidelity or if you think he harms your son.

 

I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

 

(((hugs))) I have always thought the same about my DH. Last time we separated (in December) - he moved out for about a month but still had full access to the house. He was smart enough to not do anything, I hope yours has the same "sense"

Link to post
Share on other sites
(((hugs))) I have always thought the same about my DH. Last time we separated (in December) - he moved out for about a month but still had full access to the house. He was smart enough to not do anything, I hope yours has the same "sense"

 

Thanks, SG. Everytime you post about your DH I know exactly how you feel.

 

Hopefully we can work through this, but if not, I hope we can both do what's best for our son.

 

I wish you all the best!

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

If you're married, he has just as much right to destroy any property ya'll own as you do. This would be the benefit of a legal separation document.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

If you're married, he has just as much right to destroy any property ya'll own as you do. This would be the benefit of a legal separation document.

 

But if I had it on film, wouldn't that show the courts something...in the event I needed it? I have no physical signs of his abuse, but if I could catch him raging, yelling, throwing things, wouldn't that count for something?

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

If you're married, he has just as much right to destroy any property ya'll own as you do. This would be the benefit of a legal separation document.

 

But if I had it on film, wouldn't that show the courts something...in the event I needed it? I have no physical signs of his abuse, but if I could catch him raging, yelling, throwing things, wouldn't that count for something?

 

It would probably not be admissable in court unless he agreed to the taping... which I'm sure he wouldn't.

 

If you are really concerned about that, file a restraining order which allows you to document events like that.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

If you're married, he has just as much right to destroy any property ya'll own as you do. This would be the benefit of a legal separation document.

 

But if I had it on film, wouldn't that show the courts something...in the event I needed it? I have no physical signs of his abuse, but if I could catch him raging, yelling, throwing things, wouldn't that count for something?

 

It would probably not be admissable in court unless he agreed to the taping... which I'm sure he wouldn't.

 

If you are really concerned about that, file a restraining order which allows you to document events like that.

Agreed. And him raging/yelling/throwing things when you're NOT there doesn't indicate or prove he's abusive towards you. In fact, he could claim quite the opposite. He could claim he's calm around you and vents when you're not around, no harm no foul, as long as your DS's not in the vicinity/the recipient.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm still going to speak with an attorney. Not sure if we'll do legal separation or not. I suppose they would know about the legalities of a hidden camera.
Here a legal separation requires the SAME documents as a divorce. And it costs the same as a divorce - only $5 less... No kidding.

 

Many states are like this now. There can be good reason to still opt for the legal separation, but for most people the time and expense is the same anyway so an outright divorce is usually the better option. Why pay twice when you only have to pay once? Besides, if you change your mind, you can always get re-married.

 

As far as the taping... ouch!... if the trust is at that low a level, I'd say it's a lost cause already. Sorry to be blunt, and maybe this is just me and how my mind works, but that's my take on it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

If you're married, he has just as much right to destroy any property ya'll own as you do. This would be the benefit of a legal separation document.

 

But if I had it on film, wouldn't that show the courts something...in the event I needed it? I have no physical signs of his abuse, but if I could catch him raging, yelling, throwing things, wouldn't that count for something?

 

It would probably not be admissable in court unless he agreed to the taping... which I'm sure he wouldn't.

 

If you are really concerned about that, file a restraining order which allows you to document events like that.

 

I guess that's the next step. We'll see how counselling goes for him.

 

Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

Link to post
Share on other sites
I guess that's the next step. We'll see how counselling goes for him.

 

Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

Anyone can get a TRO (temporary). You then have to appear in court (2 weeks I think here) and argue/prove your case/allegations.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he takes great care of our son - I wouldn't let him be alone with DS if I thought differently. More like destruction of things in the house - personal items. Maybe infidelity but there are no signs of it. He's always accusing me of it though, so that makes me think he might have a guilty conscience.

If you're married, he has just as much right to destroy any property ya'll own as you do. This would be the benefit of a legal separation document.

 

But if I had it on film, wouldn't that show the courts something...in the event I needed it? I have no physical signs of his abuse, but if I could catch him raging, yelling, throwing things, wouldn't that count for something?

 

It would probably not be admissable in court unless he agreed to the taping... which I'm sure he wouldn't.

 

If you are really concerned about that, file a restraining order which allows you to document events like that.

 

I guess that's the next step. We'll see how counselling goes for him.

 

Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

I chickened out and didn't go through with it. But... it was like 7 pages of docs. you had to provide specific examples, whether or not police were involved, whether other people were around. Then you have to file and then it is seen in 24 hours in front of a judge who either grants or denies.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

 

I believe you can get a TRO pretty much immediately, then go back later to justify it and make it permanent. This begs the question, though, and I'd ask it if I were a judge... If you don't trust the guy why is it ok that he watch your kid? If you trust him with your kid, what's the problem?

Link to post
Share on other sites
I guess that's the next step. We'll see how counselling goes for him.

 

Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

Anyone can get a TRO (temporary). You then have to appear in court (2 weeks I think here) and argue/prove your case/allegations.

 

What proof would I have? None. I'm sure, in that situation, he would deny, deny, deny.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

 

I believe you can get a TRO pretty much immediately, then go back later to justify it and make it permanent. This begs the question, though, and I'd ask it if I were a judge... If you don't trust the guy why is it ok that he watch your kid? If you trust him with your kid, what's the problem?

 

Uh...I don't trust him with me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I guess that's the next step. We'll see how counselling goes for him.

 

Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

Anyone can get a TRO (temporary). You then have to appear in court (2 weeks I think here) and argue/prove your case/allegations.

 

What proof would I have? None. I'm sure, in that situation, he would deny, deny, deny.

 

Have you never had fights bad enough to involve police? Any friends/neighbors that might testify?

 

Cops have been called (by me) because of DH on a few occassions, I have that documentation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I guess that's the next step. We'll see how counselling goes for him.

 

Can anyone just file a RO against another person --- isn't it a he said/she said type of thing then?

Anyone can get a TRO (temporary). You then have to appear in court (2 weeks I think here) and argue/prove your case/allegations.

 

What proof would I have? None. I'm sure, in that situation, he would deny, deny, deny.

 

Have you never had fights bad enough to involve police? Any friends/neighbors that might testify?

 

Cops have been called (by me) because of DH on a few occassions, I have that documentation.

 

Friends and family, neighbors...maybe.

 

I've never called the cops though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The last post in this topic was posted 4844 days ago. 

 

We strongly encourage you to start a new post instead of replying to this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.





  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      181,149
    • Most Online
      2,046

    Newest Member
    Tajuana
    Joined
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Guidelines