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Please help! CR and Child Support Arrearage!!


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Is this chick serious? Does it not bother her that her ex-convict "fiancee" basically chose to forget that this child had needs which he and the mother were responsible for providing. Does this not bother u one bit? Dont u question his character and morals? Why dont u encourage him to be a man and to take responsibility for his actions? Jesus Christ u are unbelievable. Hopefully it will report until the end of time.

Edited by niurkainnyc
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I'm embarrassed by the ATTACK that went on in this post. I'm actually suprised by the lack of response from a Moderator who should have insisted that JUDGEMENT NOT BE PASSED and that her question be a

This seems to be a sore spot with you. Do you mind me asking you why?   IDare is right. This isn't Askjeeves.

go niurka!

 

hey girl - turn your private messaging on. i've been trying to reach you for almost a week!!

 

`bidden

Hey I emailed u monday. Congrats on the accepted offer I am really happy for u. Things are looking really good for u. From what I understand we are not allowed to pm people here am I wrong?

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Yeah he sounds like a real winner.. :rolleyes:

 

 

But anyway, I'd like to point out that women aren't the only ones who deal with a deadbeat parent. Although it's not as common as it is with men, there's more deadbeat mothers out there than most people seem to realize.

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I'm embarrassed by the ATTACK that went on in this post. I'm actually suprised by the lack of response from a Moderator who should have insisted that JUDGEMENT NOT BE PASSED and that her question be addressed. She didn't ask for ANYONE'S opinion about the choices she's making in her life, just as most of you made choices in your lives that weren't so great AND NONE OF YOU WANTED TO BE JUDGED for them or talked down to.

 

She had every right to get defensive because in stating that you are "excersizing a great deal of restraint" YOU ARE PASSING JUDGEMENT.

 

Two suggestions you can take if you want. It's your perogitive.

 

1. If you don't want to help her, DON'T REPLY.

2. Stop acting like every choice you made in your life was the right one.

The only thing worse than making bad choices is being SELF RIGHTEOUS and ragging on everyone elses.

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I'm wondering why you consider people offering advice to be self-righteous. I think that maybe someone telling this young woman some cold hard facts is not a bad thing, but rather the voice of experience trying to show her some things she may not have seen on her own.

 

Sometimes, it takes a view from outside the situation to shed light on what is going on.

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AND NONE OF YOU WANTED TO BE JUDGED for them or talked down to.

 

 

Speak for yourself. Judgement is a normal human emotion. A rational person is able to deal with receiving it.

 

"Normal human emotion" or not, she didn't ask for anyone's judgement.

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I'm wondering why you consider people offering advice to be self-righteous. I think that maybe someone telling this young woman some cold hard facts is not a bad thing, but rather the voice of experience trying to show her some things she may not have seen on her own.

 

Sometimes, it takes a view from outside the situation to shed light on what is going on.

 

She had very specific questions. She didn't ask anyone about her life choices.

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She had very specific questions. She didn't ask anyone about her life choices.

 

 

So, say you're walking with a friend and just before they step out in the path of a moving truck, they ask you if like their shoes. Do you not tell them to stop walking because they didn't specifically ask you if they should?

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You said yourself; " If you don't want to help her, DON'T REPLY."

 

 

Those who were "passing judgement" as you claim were trying to help her. Some are just too blind to see that.

 

Why not help her with her questions, instead of giving your opinion where she didn't ask for it?

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She had very specific questions. She didn't ask anyone about her life choices.

 

 

So, say you're walking with a friend and just before they step out in the path of a moving truck, they ask you if like their shoes. Do you not tell them to stop walking because they didn't specifically ask you if they should?

 

1. Have you ever discussed a friend's personal choices in a forum such as this?

2. What makes you her friend?

3. Why not just address her question?

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She had very specific questions. She didn't ask anyone about her life choices.

 

 

So, say you're walking with a friend and just before they step out in the path of a moving truck, they ask you if like their shoes. Do you not tell them to stop walking because they didn't specifically ask you if they should?

 

1. Have you ever discussed a friend's personal choices in a forum such as this?

2. What makes you her friend?

3. Why not just address her question?

 

 

1. I don't recall but possibly if it was pertinent to the discussion.

2. Who said I was her friend?

3. Her question was already addressed. Many of these posts were in response to her comments that followed thereafter.

 

Opinions are routinely given to people even when they don't ask for one. That's normal too. I'm afraid everyone doesn't just sweep everything under the rug as you seem to wish. Now I'm wondering why you'd get so defensive over something like what's being discussed here. I also wonder where you get this "none of you wanted to be judged" junk. If I was making poor decisions with important life matters, I'd hope to heck someone would say something to me whether I asked for it or not.

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Her questions WERE answered.

 

No thanks to JUDGEMENTAL postings.

Most of us come here for help, not to be "sacrificed" for our shortcomings.

 

Why not PM what you consider good advice, rather than making it a "public judgement"? She asked for some advice, none of which had anything to do with her choice in men.

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Her questions were answered. I even went and copied the relevant section of the FCRA for her, then had to explain it to her on top of it all. Her wanting to learn the credit consequences for his despicably irresponsible behavior in regards to his child is one thing. Her wanting to relieve him of those consequences is entirely another matter. THAT is what angered people. Too bad if she doesn't appreciate the additional commentary. We're human beings, not a push-button "gimme the answer i want right now" service.

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She had very specific questions. She didn't ask anyone about her life choices.

 

 

So, say you're walking with a friend and just before they step out in the path of a moving truck, they ask you if like their shoes. Do you not tell them to stop walking because they didn't specifically ask you if they should?

 

1. Have you ever discussed a friend's personal choices in a forum such as this?

2. What makes you her friend?

3. Why not just address her question?

 

 

1. I don't recall but possibly if it was pertinent to the discussion.

2. Who said I was her friend?

3. Her question was already addressed. Many of these posts were in response to her comments that followed thereafter.

 

Opinions are routinely given to people even when they don't ask for one. That's normal too. I'm afraid everyone doesn't just sweep everything under the rug as you seem to wish. Now I'm wondering why you'd get so defensive over something like what's being discussed here. I also wonder where you get this "none of you wanted to be judged" junk. If I was making poor decisions with important life matters, I'd hope to heck someone would say something to me whether I asked for it or not.

 

Nothing needs to be swept under a rug. It's not even your business. She didn't ask your opinion.

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Her questions were answered. I even went and copied the relevant section of the FCRA for her, then had to explain it to her on top of it all. Her wanting to learn the credit consequences for his despicably irresponsible behavior in regards to his child is one thing. Her wanting to relieve him of those consequences is entirely another matter. THAT is what angered people. Too bad if she doesn't appreciate the additional commentary. We're human beings, not a push-button "gimme the answer i want right now" service.

 

If I was new here and, in my ignorance, asked a series of questions and got the kind of JUDGEMENT that she got here, I'm not sure I would not be interested in coming back. I don't think that is the intent of this forum.

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For crying out loud, get your house in order before blasting her, will ya? She deserves a straight answer not a lecture.

 

Did the mother receive any state assistance since he was ordered to pay csupport? If so, he is still under obligation by the courts. It doesn't go away because he catches up or she drops the case.

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This seems to be a sore spot with you. Do you mind me asking you why?

 

IDare is right. This isn't Askjeeves.

 

Are you saying that because this isn't Askjeeves, she shouldn't expect to get help with her question here without being scolded by strangers? :P You don't believe that yourself.

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For crying out loud, get your house in order before blasting her, will ya? She deserves a straight answer not a lecture.

 

Did the mother receive any state assistance since he was ordered to pay csupport? If so, he is still under obligation by the courts. It doesn't go away because he catches up or she drops the case.

 

 

My point exactly... :clapping:

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Well, when a person presents a situation as she did, I'd expect to see the comments some made here. Most people aren't too interested in helping people avoid taking responsibility for their children. In fact, most people would be offended to be asked a question like that.

 

I really think your expectations are a bit unreasonable given the situation presented here.

 

Regardless, I've said too much here already. Carry on.

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The last post in this topic was posted 5511 days ago. 

 

We strongly encourage you to start a new post instead of replying to this one.

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