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  1. Four score and seven disputes ago our creditors brought forth on this continent, a new tradeline, conceived in my wallet, and dedicated to the proposition that all charge offs are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great dispute war, testing whether that tradeline, or any tradeline so conceived and so full of errors, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that we call the Internet. We have come to dedicate a portion of our sanity, as a final resting place for those who here gave up their credit scores so that that my wallet might live on. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget how many times we told Capital One to F-off. It is for us the credit poor, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task of destroying Experian -- that we here highly resolve that these tradelines not have died in vain -- that this nation, under CFPB, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that the credit scores of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not continue to vanish from the earth. Sir Abraham Funkiehouse
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