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justmeinsd

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  1. Hello, CB friends, Long time no post. I hope all is well with you folks and that your credit issues are manageable and your general finances are improving. My husband of 23 years still wants a divorce, although he's been saying that for a long time and hasn't actually filed. I'm honestly not sure how this will work out. I'm not going to fight him on it, but I'm not going to file, either. I am currently in Florida visiting my mother whose husband of 46 years passed away a couple of weeks ago. He'd been sick for a really long time and he was in hospice, so while sad, it was more a relief than anything else, and he's left her with two paid-off houses and about $400,000 in combined back accounts and IRAs, a paid-for car, and Social Security income of about $1500 a month. She'll be okay financially. Here's the question: We've spent the last couple of days getting all of the household accounts into her name only. The car insurance and house insurance, too. Those were easy. She's also made me a Paid-on-Death beneficiary of her bank accounts and one of the IRAs. The other IRA goes to my brother. Also pretty easy. Next, though, she wants to put my name on the house and the car so that if something happens to her, I can just take possession. If she does, will these count as assets of mine? Will there be tax implications? Will it be considered an inheritance, and so not considered in the possible divorce settlement? I'm way open to suggestions, and we're visiting her lawyer in the morning. I just want to get my head around this so I can ask intelligent questions. Thanks, all. Just Me in SD
  2. Thank you all so much. This is such valuable information. I'm not very experienced with banking and money management (I'm not even sure what "sub-prime cash" is, Hegemony), so I can't even express how much I appreciate the input. I am a long-term Discover user, so I will for sure check into that option, and maybe B of A and I'll go find out what Alliant is. My mom lives in a really small town and I don't think there are any large national bank branches there or she'd use them. Thank you all. I really appreciate your helping me get myself set up on my own. jm
  3. Hello, all, I'm in the midst of a break-up > divorce (22 years, amicable more or less, one grown child, no unforgiveables - just grew apart) and I'm looking for a new bank for my personal and business accounts. I don't have a lot of money, and I plan to split time on the east coast with my mother and the west coast with my daughter, so a national bank would be nice, although I'm open to credit unions that are part of a national network. I hear bad things about Bank of America here on the board, and Wells Fargo is out of the question after they got caught ripping off their customers. I don't have any military contacts to get a Navy FCU account. Can anyone recommend a bank where, if I travel to other states to work (photography), I will be able to deposit checks and handle my business wherever I am? Thanks, all. I really do appreciate the generosity and support of this community. jm
  4. Thank you, garcias06 and Habersnicht. Rakuri, too. These are good warnings and I appreciate your words more than I can tell you. Cruelty is a choice and he does slip into that every now and then. He doesn't see it as abusive. He sees it as being honest with me to help me improve myself. We're in California. I think that's an alimony state. I'm not really sure what that means. Obviously I need to seek a professional for guidance, as you've all suggested. I'll start making inquiries. I'm not worried about him turning my friends against me. He doesn't really know any of them. I don't have that many. Maybe three or four people. I don't have any family here, either. They're all his, so I know very well whose side they'll take. They have been for 22 years. Again, thank you all for your help and advice. justme
  5. Oh, Roland, thank you. That makes sense. I hadn't even thought of having to file State and Federal. God, I really am going to need a coach here. Big Bear, I used to teach, but the college I worked for went out of business (and I wouldn't want to go back to them anyway). I've had a mishmash of part-time teaching, writing, and photography jobs for the last fifteen years or so. Thank you, whipped, for the good wishes. I think once we file it will be fast because we're not fighting over anything. At least, I hope that's how it works out. No drama. I've had enough of drama. justme
  6. Thank you very much for that, earth. We're working toward mediation to save money. I'm not one to fight for anything. He has a lot of computer gear, monitors, games and all that. I couldn't care less about it all. Keep it and enjoy yourself, you know? I think this will be pretty easy on paper. We don't own anything of value, really. The truck he drives is 22 years old and we own it outright. He can keep it. I get the car. He'll pay half of the amount owed, as you suggested. That makes sense. The hard part is dismantling twenty-two years of marriage and all that entails emotionally. My heart is broken. I have battled a deep depression for over a decade and it's taken its toll on our relationship. I can't expect him to spend the next twenty-odd years dealing with me and my mood swings and all of it. Yes, I'm in therapy. I'm trying to work out whether I should stay here in SD or move to live with my mother in Florida (she's 70, and her much older husband is not doing well, but I don't want to live with him...it's complicated) but the town where she lives is really, really small and I don't know that I could work there, or move to another city in Florida close to a cousin and her kids and an aunt and uncle and in a city where I might be able to restart my business (portrait photographer). Alimony is considered taxable income, and I thought it might not be in Florida because Florida doesn't have personal income tax, but the research of law sites I've looked at in the state say alimony is taxable. I found it on two lawyer sites, so I guess that's true. JM
  7. So I know this is a credit repair forum, but I trust the advice I receive here and I'm hoping you wise, life-experienced people might know of a similar forum for people considering divorce, or maybe those who have been through it might be kind enough to share some helpful advice. I could really use some direction. Please understand that this has been coming for a long time and while I don't love the idea, I'm tired of the one-sided fight. Is there a better time of year to file? I understand the whole process takes about six months when you're doing mediation. We're trying to be civil and not punish each other. Are there tax ramifications, or does it not really matter? We owe $14,000 on my car, $5,000 on my Visa. He has a couple of cards, too, but he pays them off every month. His credit score is in the mid-high 700s. Mine is in the high 600s. I have a couple of old medical collections (and yes, I'm going to use Psychdoc's method to try to get them off). Other than that, we don't own any real estate and our only child is 18 and out of the house. The city we live in has very high rent and I'm not sure how I'm going to afford living on my own, even with alimony. I haven't worked in years, and then it was a patchwork of part-time jobs. I've mostly been a mom. My husband thinks I am grossly under-earning and that I don't take care of myself and he doesn't want to watch me eat myself to death. He's fighting a weight issue and I've been a hundred pounds overweight for a really long time. There haven't been any of the unforgivables. No infidelity. No alcohol or drug problems. No physical abuse. Some emotional abuse, but we've both been through a lot. I can forgive that. I grew up in a very abusive household. So did he. It's not like either of us have had any kind of positive marital/parental modeling. It's amazing we got this far, to be honest. Sorry. I know this site isn't for therapy, either. I'm just swimming here, trying to figure out what to do next. JustmeinSD
  8. How do you do this for free? Does NFCU offer some kind of real FICO monitoring for members? Thanks, JM
  9. I'm in the middle, flirting with 700. Thanks for the input. I guess I'll just have to wait and see a few more weeks until all of the cards report. JM
  10. "That makes absolutely no sense," I said. "I know, but I'm not making it up. You can call the credit bureaus and ask them." Yeah. I'll put that on my to-do list. I just worked my fanny off paying off $50,000 in business debt and personal debt, including a used car, in the last five years, and I don't get a score in the 800s? Feh. I had called to see if I could get my interest rate lowered since I've got such a long history of on-time payments and recently paid it all off. That's when she told me that I really shouldn't have paid off the debt, that I've probably hurt my score by doing that. Geez. And no, I didn't get a lower interest rate because it's a rewards card, and I've already got two points lower than the average interest rate on it. (14.45%) Oy. JM
  11. Edit the above to say that I was able to get my reports from annualcreditreport.com, so I guess that year passed. JM
  12. Hello, friends, I want to closely monitor all three reports and scores, and if someone can recommend a good identity theft protection service, if there is such a thing, I'd appreciate that, too. (I see these ads on the site for LifeLock, but I remember reading some negative things about the company owner). For the record, I did search on recent threads about score and report monitoring, but I couldn't find anything. I am an AMEX card holder, but their service doesn't cover all three CRAs. I'm currently using Discover's Credit Monitoring service, but I understand that it's a FAKO score, and even though my score with them went up three points in the last two weeks, their "detailed" explanation of why contradicts itself. The list of positives affecting my score includes that I have more than two open major cards (true). The negatives list includes that I do NOT have any major open cards (not true). I've gotten a report/score from MyFICO, too, and had a similar problem. The score detail pages both said a positive was that I had a long credit history (over 23 years), and a negative was that I have too short a credit history. Huh? What is the best program these days? It seems like the programs change, prices change. What's the best, most complete deal out there right now? And I'd like to support CB here if there is an affiliate program. You guys have done a lot for me. I'd like to give back if I can. And as an aside, how can I buy reports and scores directly from the CRAs if annualcreditreport.com won't let me get a current report because I've already had my free report this calendar year (and how can I find out when that resets, because I don't have that last report anymore). Thanks. JM
  13. Thanks. It's going to be hard to wait the three weeks without clicking the "Buy Now" button at MyFICO. JM As for when to celebrate being debt free, do it all day long tomorrow!!!! That is a major accomplishment and you deserve to be very proud! I would hang signs all over my house congratulating myself and then walk into a title loan place, wait until they ask to help me, say, NO THANKS! and leave. ! Anyway, congratulations! I love the idea of making congratulations posters and putting the up around my house. I'm going to go do that right now. Thanks for the idea and the support! JM
  14. Thanks. It's going to be hard to wait the three weeks without clicking the "Buy Now" button at MyFICO. JM
  15. Hi, all, Thanks to what I've learned here on CreditBoards, I've just this last week paid off my car loan with Americredit (subprime lender), and paid off the remaining balances on the last three credit cards. I am officially debt-free. I was able to remove some CA baddies, but there's a charge off that won't go away until it just ages off in a couple more years. Ditto for two tax liens from 2003. Thank you to everyone here for the information, encouragement, and support. I could not have accomplished this without your guidance. Now, how long do I wait before I go get an updated score from MyFICO and celebrate my debt-free-ness? JM

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