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Everything posted by cattthy

  1. Tee, You bring up some good points. The positive would be that he is a good hearted person who cares enough to adopt 9 kids. You are right about the smoking part. He is not poor by any means but not rich either. He does not have trouble paying the bills though.
  2. mini, During the day while they are in school he could get to know someone through going out to lunch. brazen, The oldest 3 have ADD. The oldest group is a sibling group of 7 so that is the main reason why the adoption was considered "special needs". Vibrant, So even if everything else were good you'd still say smoking would be a dealbreaker, huh?! That is a nasty habit. Something to think about.
  3. These are reallly great and helpful comments, thanks everyone. Keep 'em coming!!
  4. If you met a man with 9 adopted kids, who's wife had passed away due to illness, would you date him? Also, this man smokes cigarettes daily, would that be a factor in your decision? I'm talking about an average looking guy who earns a good living to support himself but is definatly not rich. He gets some assistance from the state for 7 of the kids due to special needs (since they are older and different race). He and his wife adopted the kids together and of course never knew she would not be around to help raise them. How do most women feel about this? If you already have kids, or not, I would like to hear your opinion. Would you stay away or would you give this guy a chance? If so, would you date him with thoughts that it might one day turn into marriage or just for short term?
  5. I'm going to ask that this post be deleted. I wrongly believed I could get some honest advice here. But instead it's turning abusive towards me.
  6. What do you mean about red flags? The reason he probably thought he had a chance was that I am good friends with a former coworker I tried to recruit from my former co. This coworker is an old guy with a crush on me. We have been friends for 8 years. The former coworker told my boss (when they were talking about whether he'd come to work with us) how much he liked me as a person. My boss probably thought there was no way I was friends with this guy unless I was sleeping with him. But I'm not, we are just good friends is all. So my boss probably thought if I'll sleep w/that guy I will sleep with him. Or maybe I am reading too much into it. I don't sleep w/married men. It's just I thought my boss was a nice guy and we could be friends. Guess I was wrong.
  7. I guess I just really thought the boss was a good person. He made such a big deal about how great his wife was. How great it was they had been married for so long. Now it turns out he's a slimeball I guess. Not the person I though he was, I thought he was like a nice older brother type figure almost. I am disappointed that he's not like that, he's a fake I guess!
  8. The person whose fault it is, moved and has nothing to do with it. When I started w/the company she was my manager then she screwed up one too many times and I requested that she not be my manager. She is on her way out of the company, she has tons of personal issues and probably won't work here too much longer. Dang, You are right he probably has just moved on having realized he can't have me. Since I just emailed him today, I probably should wait a day or two and see if he responds. If not then I should email him back and tell him I want the contract info mailed to me. Or I could leave a vm. It's squeezing a lemon me off that it's been a couple weeks or 3 weeks maybe since he said he'd fix it and now he is not!!! He's the one who brought it up, that he would definatly fix it. Now he is almost ignoring it. He has NEVER ignored me in the past. This makes me so annoyed!
  9. Ok maybe love is a strong term. Infatuated is more like it. This was about a month ago when I asked my boss did he know anyone who knew this guy because he knew Sally (made up name) who works in our industry. But now I have dated my boyfriend a few times and I could see it going somewhere serious.
  10. We have only been to TWO dinners. One was with a new recruit I was trying to get to come work for us, it was a guy I used to work with who my boss wanted to hire. The other was a "new hire" dinner which normally takes place with the boss, the new hire and her/his spouse. Since I do no have a spouse it was just with me. I am really in love with my boyfriend and I have no interest in dating the boss. I just want him to follow through on what he promised to me in terms of the bonus. Also, I honestly thought my boss liked me as a person, as a friend. I can't believe the only reason he showed an interest in me was just because he wanted to bang me. I guess that was a naive assumption on my part? I have male friends I don't sleep with, I do not see a problem with men and women being friends. So what do I do now? Do I wait til next week and if he had not responded by then call him, leave a VM, and ask him to mail the bonus plan to me and I'll sign it and mail it back? He may respond to my email before then, I don't know. But he is working right now, because he is online....our workplace allows us to see who is online at all times, remotely.
  11. He is going to put the bonus info in writing. He also wants to discuss recruiting which I have been doing lately, and some other work issues. What he did was, when we were out to dinner 6 months ago, is he asked was I seeing anyone. I told him no but that since he knows a lot of people maybe he could introduce me to someone. Which it's true he DOES know a lot of people with the type job he has. He said well what are you looking for, because he and his wife met through someone setting them up (20+ yrs ago). Then he asked, did I like older men and his face turned red. He happens to be 60 and I'm in my 30's. Oh and earlier in the conversation he'd told me he was 59 and asked how old I was (which he could have easily found out from my employment application which was filed in the office---so I told him). So I told him (in general, I did not say anything private or personal) a list of what I wanted in a guy. I made a joke about it somewhat, I said I want a guy who can lift heavy furniture, who isn't elderly and on a walker, etc. He looked at me over dinner and I could see it in his face and his eyes that he would have gone out with me had I made a move. But he did not do anything overtly inappropriate. He is the type guy who would NEVER make a move on me, not physically, unless I did first. Anyway maybe I should wait a few days and call his VM or email him to ask could he just put the bonus in writing and mail it to me? Or should I leave this alone for a while? He told me he'd put it in writing so that after he was gone (he did not mean anytime soon-he just said since I'll likely be working here longer since I'm a lot younger), that as long as I work at this co. I'll get the bonus plan each year. I don't want to just ignore this. It really does not affect me this year, because I have a bonus plan in writing for this year only, so there is no huge hurry. Of course if he got hit by a mac truck I would never get the bonus other than this year. This can add up to several thousand dollars over the life of my career. I like this company and plan to stay here until I retire in 20 or more years.
  12. This is a hypthetical situation of course. My married boss who I've worked with for 7 months (since I started with this company) hit on my VERY subtely at a restaurant at a business meeting the two of us had. I did not show an interest so he left it alone. We do not work in the same office, I work from home most days, but we email each other about business several times a week and we meet maybe once every couple months for business reasons. I have NO interest in him other than as a boss and I do like him a lot, but as a FRIEND only. I actually think overall he is a nice person, other than he obviously has a problem with having affairs. It's really none of my business, that part of his life anyhow. I don't know how often or even if he really does have affairs. I have no proof that he does but I'd be willing to bet he does. I am not married but recently got a boyfriend. Just in the course of conversation that came up I mentioned this fact to him, did not go into any detail. This is the first boyfriend I've had in over a year, since before I started working at this company. My boss and I don't talk about a ton of personal topics but I have gotten to know him as a person and I don't see anything wrong with mentioning that I have a boyfriend. Actually the reason the subject got brought up is that my new boyfriend knows someone else who the boss knows, and I wanted to ask my boss if he'd ever heard of this guy. I did not know my boyfriend too well so I wanted to just ask around, see if anyone knew anything about him. Turns out my boss did not know anyone who knew him, but my boss knows a lot of people through business so I thought it can not hurt to ask. Anyhow my boss was supposed to meet with me over dinner this week to discuss business. It was actually to increase my bonus because an error had been made. It amounts to maybe $600 extra a year I'd receive. It's a long story and it was not his fault at all that the error was made, but the point is he agreed to fix it. He's done everything he said he would over the past 7 mos I've worked at this company, I have been treated great and with respect and fairness. Now it's been 3 days and he has not emailed me back, even though I asked him what day we were meeting for dinner because I needed to make sure I scheduled it in. Do you think the fact that I have a boyfriend and now he knows he does not have a chance (which he NEVER did with me) has anything to do with his lack of response? I wonder now if the reason he has treated me so well is because all along he's had a crush on me and was hoping I'd sleep with him!? Or am I reading too much into this. Don't get me wrong he is even cute and I do like the guy as a person, but I would NEVER sleep with my boss nor a married man. Should I just give it a few more days and see what happens? Am I overreacting? Has anyone ever had problems at work like this? Again, he was very subtle he didn't harass me other than he just made it clear if I was interested than he would sleep with me. That was it. And maybe he read into something I did subconsciously, maybe I smiled at him wrong or something, if I did it was not on purpose on my part. Any advice would be appreciated because this situation has me worried. That he won't fix my bonus program now because of all this. I never dreamed it would be an issue, I mean this new boyfriend I have I really do like a lot and if things keep going well I would consider a long-term commitment even marriage possibly. Which I don't say lightly. It's not as if I could have (or would have wanted to even) hide the fact that in the future my boyfriend and I might even become engaged and get married. I understand it's smart to keep one's personal life out of work but I didn't see the harm in my boss knowing the mere fact that I have a boyfriend, to me that is not overly personal.
  13. I have no idea about any other states besides GA. That's why I was asking about Orlando!
  14. Don't know, but I get a call every couple weeks from one near Atl. I don't know that it's be worth your drive from Macon to Atl for one...
  15. I do a lot of paid Atlanta focus group studies. These are studies where I join their online database and they call me from time to time to come in, in person, to get paid say $100 for an hour to discuss a topic. Examples of studies I've done have been on candy, cell phones, home improvement stores, etc. I have a coworker in Orlando and she wondered do I know of any in her area. Does anyone on here know of any reliable ones she could sign up for in that area? She does not want online surveys, just the focus groups that are done in person. Thanks.
  16. Be sure to mail it with delivery confirmation. If you have to put it in a box and mail it that way then do that (delivery confirmation is not avaliable on just regular envelopes....you'd have to mail it certified mail if you put it in a flat envelope). Otherwise they will say they did not get it and you will lose your money when they tell paypal you never sent it.
  17. I called them already and their price for a standard was $1600 (with both doors and both openers installed). Home Depot was less! But, there is another local guy who quoted $1400. I'll call around more tomorrow and also find out how much for the size I have.
  18. I have two 9 x 7.5 foot doors. They are an odd size so I was wondering how much more would it be? I got a couple quotes for the purchase and install of both the doors and two new openers, for around $1400-1500. This includes replacing every part of the doors and openers, and hauling away the old doors. But, at the time I got the quotes I said I had standard 9 x 7 ft doors. Now that I have measured I know it will probably be more to special order due to the nonstandard size. These are just the basic doors with no windows and no insullation. How much more is this going to add to have to have them special made to fit? I'm in Atlanta if that matters.
  19. It's 131K, and the quote is from this morning. I emailed the lender earlier to ask about just getting the apprasal so I'll see what he says.
  20. Really?! That surprises me because when I did some research that was the lowest rate I found for a 15 yr fixed, with low closing costs ($1900 after the $975 back at closing). My credit scores are 701,730 and 731. There were some slightly lower rates but closing costs were a lot more. Where would I find a lower rate, do you know? Also, I don't think rates will go up too much if at all in the next couple months. No one knows for certain of course, but I was thinking I'd get the apprasal done then lock the rate if the apprasl is ok. I just don't want to pay $975, have the apprasal done, then if it's too low to have 20% equity walk away and lose part or all of the money.
  21. After going back and forth and negotiating, I came to an agreement with the cu lender. I have not signed anything yet, or paid any money. I have the GFE and it looks good. The 4.375 rate with no points is contingent upon having 20% equity in my home. Which, at the time I purchased the home 4 years ago, it did since I put 20% down and got what was a good price at the time. I believe it does have 20% equity, because home values in this area have not dropped that much. But, I wanted to make sure before I paid the application, rate lock and other fee, because those fees are only refunded to me at closing if I go through with the refi. In other words, if I start the process and pay the money, then back out due to a low apprasal, I lose the application and other refundable fees. It is $975 total that I will need to pay to start the process and lock in the rate. So I emailed the lender and told him I want to pay $325 for the apprasal fee only. If the apprasal comes out positive then I will move forward. I was wondering would the lender agree to doing the apprasal even though I have not technically applied for the refi yet?
  22. I went to the Stafford loan site and tried to apply. It said, "Thank You for Inquiring About a Federal Stafford Loan for Graduate Students We're sorry, the school you are attending is not currently on our lenders list of approved schools. We suggest you visit the site(s) listed below to inquire about you college funding needs. " The school is Troy, main campus. ??? I don't know why it gave me that message. Troy is fully accredited. EDIT: I just checked the fin. aid section of Troy's website and it says: "Federal Stafford Loans - Troy University does not participate in the Federal Direct Stafford Loan Program. Troy University participates in The Federal Family Education Loan Program (FFELP) which includes the following federal programs: Subsidized Loans are awarded based on the student’s calculated need from the FAFSA. (I already filled this out!) The interest is paid by the government while at least half-time enrollment is maintained. You are charged a 3% to 4% fee by the Federal government when you borrow; the amount of your loan sent to the school is reduced by that fee. Repayment begins six months after enrollment has ceased or dropped to below half-time status. Loans disbursed prior to July 1, 2006 have a variable repayment interest rate which caps at 8.25%. For new Stafford student loans disbursed July 1, 2008, and later, the interest rate will be set at a fixed rate of 6.8 percent for graduate students. Unsubsidized Loans are not based on calculated need, but still necessitates the filing of the FAFSA for eligibility determination. You are charged a 3% to 4% fee by the Federal government when you borrow; the amount of your loan sent to the school is reduced by that fee. Interest rate is a maximum of 8.25% until June 30, 2006. For new Stafford student loans disbursed July 1, 2008, and later, the interest rate will be set at a fixed rate of 6.8 percent. Interest is not paid by the Federal government, and the student is responsible for all interest associated with the loan. Interest payments can be capitalized (added to the loan at repayment) if no payments are made during enrollment. Repayment begins six months after enrollment has ceased or dropped below half time. Maximum Loan Amounts for Fall, Spring and Summer: Grade Level as Determined by the Registrar Credits(1) Dependent loan maximum borrowed allowed Independent Loan maximum borrowed amount First Year - Freshman 0-29 $5,500 $9,500 Second Year - Sophomore 30-59 $6,500 $10,500 Third Year - Junior 60-89 $7,500 $12,500 Fourth Year or more - Senior 90-180 $7,500 $12,500 Each Year of Graduate or Professional Study N/A N/A $20,500 The total maximum outstanding debt allowed is: Dependent Undergraduate $31,000 (1) Independent Undergraduate $57,500 (2) Graduate or Professional Student(3) $138,500 (4) 1. Of the $31,000 no more than $23,000 may be subsidized loans. 2. Of the $57,500 no more than $23,000 may be subsidized loans. 3. Includes any Federal Stafford Loan and/or Federal Supplemental Loans for Students received as an undergraduate. 4. Of the total maximum of $138,500 no more than $65,500 may be subsidized loans. These loan limits are the maximum and must be reduced by other assistance if total cost of education is exceeded. If other aid and loans exceed need then the subsidized is reduced and the unsubsidized is increased. Students must apply with the FAFSA each year beginning in January for the approaching Fall. More about Federal Stafford Loans •Students are awarded the maximum loan eligible for Fall Semester/Term 1-2 and Spring Semester/Term 3-4 and are disbursed after the drop/add period for each term. Students who will be attending Summer/T5 are expected to save funds out of their loan awards for that purpose. •Loans are disbursed to your account based on your enrollment on the first day after the end of free drop/add. If you added courses after that point, have your site advisor notify the financial aid office. •Students who begin in a term other than Fall/T1 will need to complete a Partial Year Loan Request Form; this is not a Summer/T5 request form. •Students who have remaining eligibility may request to use that eligibility in Summer/Term 5 by applying for Summer Financial Aid. •For Students who must complete an MPN, KHEAA can send funds within three days after receipt of the MPN but must wait until after the drop/add period for the term for which funding is requested. •You are able to check on the date that KHEAA will disburse funds to Troy University by visiting KHEAA On-Line. Checks are created for any credit balance to your student account approximately 2 full working days after Troy University receives the disbursement from KHEAA." and "-Federal PLUS Loans for Graduate Students - GRAD PLUS Beginning July 1, 2006 graduate students are eligible to borrow under the GRAD PLUS Loan Program up to their cost of attendance minus other estimated financial assistance. The terms and conditions applicable to Parent PLUS Loans also apply to Graduate PLUS loans. These requirements include a determination that the applicant does not have an adverse credit history, repayment beginning on the date of the last disbursement of the loan, and a fixed interest rate of 8.5 percent. Lenders will defer repayment while student is in school. Applicants must complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). They also must have applied for their annual loan maximum eligibility under the Federal Subsidized and Unsubsidized Stafford Loan Program before applying for a Grad PLUS Loan. The following is information on other aid programs. You are not necessarily required to submit a FAFSA in order to be considered for these funds. " So did I do the right thing by applying for the PLUS loan only? I applied through my cu and there's a 1% origination fee. Thanks.
  23. I don't qualify for need based loans. I filled out the FAFSA already. I make too much money for Stafford loans, or at least that's how I read it. I can put my tuition on a credit card as a last resort. It would be on a 9.99% credit card. So if I could get a lower rate and defer the payments until graduation, that would be better. Would a PLUS loan be the best option? I hate to apply for a bunch of private loans, and take hits on my credit to find out the rate would be higher than my credit card rates. The only reason for my lower FICO score is high debt to avaliable credit ratio. I don't have any late payments or any other derog. info. on my credit report. Thanks.
  24. thank you so much, I'll try it now, then I have to drive back to my job (where we don't have access to computers).
  25. I emailed an employer my resume, attaching to to the email using Microsoft Word. I have Vista on my laptop, if that matters. Anyhow, he emailed back saying he is unable to open the attachment because he uses Microsoft Systems XP. I am not a comptuer person, but that is confusing because I don't know why he would not be able to open a Microsoft Word file attached to his email. Unless the place where he works (the federal government) does not allow it. How can I resend the email with the right attachement format? Please help soon because I need to email it to him asap, as we are meeting Thursday morning for an informational interview. What is he talking about, which program do I use???

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