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JOstrowski

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  1. Thanks so much! The plan is that she has agreed to give me her social security number so that I can monitor her activity. She admits she has a serious spending problem and I'm aware that her mother also had some very serious spending issues in her life that brought their family great grief. She told me she was spending it on things like restaurants and trips to Target, her favorite "stress relief" outlet. We're going to sit down tonight and open everything up. I'll be able to see her credit purchases and get something like Lifelock or Experian set up. I'm also going to have to watch my 401k to make sure she doesn't do something wild like go in there and withdrawl a bunch of money. I doubt she would do that but I'm at the point that I don't know what to expect from her. The past 48 hours have been just dizzying. I pray nobody who reads this ever has to experience disaster like this.
  2. I am looking for an online tool that will protect me from my wife's financial infidelity. She is crafty, so I need something that will be able to catch anything she does. If I set up one of these online tools like Experian that has a report tool that catches anything related to a social security number, will that really catch everything, or are there tricks to get around that, too? She used to handle all the finances, and we've been together 12 years. She was great at it, and never a problem. I very foolishly trusted her to manage our money, but suddenly I'd noticed that we were coming up short on money when I knew we should have a lot saved. I looked into it, and although she had been telling me that we were paying off our credit cards each month, we had a $30k credit card debt! Not only that, but she spent 35k we had in savings! So needless to say, I was devastated, and we've been digging ourselves out of that hole. Ever since that happened, I started watching all of our purchases and making sure she wasn't using our credit cards. But then to my horror, she came up to me the other day and said she got a secret card under her own name and racked up another $25k!!! She consolidated the card, and had payments deducted from her paycheck so I wouldn't notice any payments going out to the card. This needs to stop! I can't keep living like this I'm going out of my mind! Will a watch on a social security number catch everything?? Yes, you don't have to suggest divorce, it has been discussed but for various reasons I'm going to try to hang on and move forward. Any tools you can recommend would be very much appreciated.

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