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About smartlypretty

  • Birthday March 20

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  1. Not afraid of you guys, but anyone in the situation might find it -- part of it is the acrimony is their weird fear other people are being made aware of the details - which I suspect is because none of it reflects well on them or is defensible. My bank sent me images of all canceled checks in the period, and I have emails where parent says "smartlypretty is putting up $X000 for the XYZ," and the same goes for actual expenses incurred that are a significant chunk of the amount I put in. Parent gets enraged about this, possibly because it stops them from "fairly" splitti
  2. I politely but strenuously objected every step along the way, for those reasons (and because my sibling is an episode of Jerry Springer). About $85,000 is in mortgage payments, and the balance is from something like but not exactly improvements to the home (I am just trying not to be googleable here).
  3. Thank you ❤️ and thank you for the response in general, that must have been difficult, especially at such a young age ❤️ The personal attacking element in this situation is less something to which I am emotionally averse, and more just concern about it being detrimental or exacerbating to attempt. An in-person or verbal offer might be better, but this parent lives in a separate state and stated as such on their eviction letter (which is probably overall helpful). In that respect, I was considering sending a certified letter with signature and CCing my lawyer, but that
  4. Thank you ❤️ (Do you guys know how many times I proofread my post and now I have to live with a typo in the title?) You're right, those concerns are getting in the way and don't really matter. I have a concurrent small Facebook message about this with very close friends, and I discussed most recently that I might just send a registered letter and bypass in-person verbal because he gets so triggered by seeing me/he asks for an offer and then shouts over me. If I send just a letter (which is just going to be about the offer) then I don't have to worry about m
  5. People do definitely overuse this. But! But I just wanted to say that one of the biggest widow groups that exists is run by a "censored profanity your feelings" dude and threads about being triggered abound, because it happens to widows a lot (and bereaved parents I assume). Especially a young population, many of whom found their partner unexpectedly dead at 40 or 32 or 26, these people ... I mean it's happened to me, not that I told anyone. It's embarrassing, but it is really distressing. The first time it happened to me I was working on an immigration story, and a sec
  6. Minor update, I spoke to my lawyer and the overall impression I get from my lawyer is he isn't really into leveraging leverage unless it's litigation, and he really wants to avoid litigation, so he's like a nice guy lawyer. He said the letter was a baseless threat and would likely be viewed as such, and that there's no real threat of eviction to worry about. He referred me to another broker with whom he works, and I contacted said broker and hope to get a letter and then deal with whatever entry needs to be dealt with after the fact. Frustratingly, he still believes I
  7. Thank you. From what I understand, it is just generally murky even from the standpoint of lawyers. There are legal protections in my state for people in my position, and there are four elements to be met, and every lawyer with whom I've discussed this has said this scenario does meet all four elements of it. There might be leverage I have, mainly around the respective contributions and the landlord living here, sleeping on my couch, making unilateral decisions etc etc things. If they continue asserting they're a landlord, it creates a lot of liability. If they drop that claim, leg
  8. Thank you, yes, this is like 10% of what is going on and there's a lot of nuance ... boiled down and nuance-free, I think my parent doesn't want to disappoint my sibling, and thought the fairest thing was to do this ... I also suspect a huge amount of guilt is involved on the part of my parent and sibling because they are sensitive about my husband's death and I see this dynamic a lot, it sort of paradoxically empowers people to behave horribly, because they already feel terrible? But that said, I have already come to terms (I think) with not choosing keeping any sort of peace and
  9. Hi, I have been away for a few weeks dealing with this stuff, and I have been hesitant to post about this, but I've been not making much progress and I was hoping someone could help point me in the right direction (if there is a direction at all). This is really long but I don't want to mislead anyone about the complicated aspects. In previous threads, I've said things to the effect of I was unlikely to need a mortgage in the next 5 years, but of course, that has changed. Nearly seven years ago I bought a house with my parent in that parent's name; I am not on the deed and I know
  10. [Insert joke about zoom schooling]
  11. You and my husband, for years he tried to wean me off these: Eventually I switched to these, and I could murder a pack right now:
  12. One of my widow friends who is closer in age to my mom than me, her husband was a letter carrier who died not very long after he retired. We meet on Saturdays online and I always say (we acknowledge everyone's partners) that we need his help to save USPS. This is so terrible and so worrisome and people have purportedly died from delayed prescriptions.
  13. OP actually tried to backpedal and use the Shaggy defense! 🤣
  14. If they don't serve ayahuasca I would be very disappointed.
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