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  1. I've asked her why she stopped taking them and she said "I didn't feel like I could be rude to people" which I think means she didn't feel like she could angry, she struggled with medication making her feel "flat" in her younger years, too. I suggested maybe she could get the dosage adjusted so that while she could be happy, she could also feel angry or sad (which, as you'd imagine is important to her so she feels human). She seems to know she needs to take it, but first she didn't have insurance so she couldn't afford it, then we got her signed up with Obamacare and her ambivalence to everything led to losing the paperwork. In her more calm moments, she talks about taking them again but then the disease takes hold and it all goes out the window. This is just so unfair. She has such a beautiful soul and a kind personality.I would give anything to help her. And then, of course, there is the concern for my nephew. He is getting old enough that he is starting to notice that something isn't "right" with his mom. And that is just so sad.
  2. It frustrates me when, rather than say "man sues BOA over Erroneous 1099-C" they throw in the age, veteran status, disability, etc. He isn't more of a victim of BOA because of those aspects just like other people aren't less of a victim if they don't hit the big 3: elderly, military, disabled. I get this is an opinion piece, but for me? It just makes me question the legitimacy of the claim when you have to toss in the extras to make your point.
  3. Sorry for the long post and the longer absence. I just needed to write this down somewhere. Its been a tough few months... My sister suffers from undiagnosed mental illness along with major depression. She was on medication for several years and she was doing great. She was high functioning, raising her son, she held a decent job and had an enjoyment for life. Then, for reasons only she knows (and maybe even she doesn't) she stopped taking her medication. That was a little more than a year ago. Everything has fallen apart. She lost her job, she's been evicted. Her son alternates between staying with his neglectful father and my mother (who tries but is overwhelmed because she's also caring for my aging grandparents). She refuses to stay with family because she feels judged. She continues to associate with the people that stole her car, steal her phone, steal what little money she has, etc. It is breaking my heart. I want so badly to help her. I've offered to open up my home to her but she doesn't want to move out of state. I've offered to try to help her with bills but she says she wants to do this on her own. But she isn't doing it. We'll hear nothing for days, if not a week or more, and then its just a sad post on facebook about how lonely she is, or how bad her life is or, today how she wants to go home but doesn't have one. I just wish she would take her damn medication.Logically, I know that this is part of the illness, but its so frustrating. I'm terrified for her. I'm terrified for my nephew. I don't know how to help. My mother is overwhelmed. She is taking the stance that my sister needs to work this out on her own. When they do talk, they fight. Most of my family doesn't realize how bad it is. I'm scared every time my mother calls that she is going to tell me something's happened. This feels very helpless.
  4. Radi8, I had that happen once. It was a payroll check, to boot. The teller told me, before depositing it that there would be a several day hold. So I asked if I could just cash it and deposit cash. Sure, no problem!
  5. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this Take comfort in the wonderful memories you were able to acquire in the last weeks and in the knowledge that he knew he was well loved. The only good thing that can be said is that his pain is gone now. Cancer, in all its forms, is a stupid, cruel, horrible disease. It just is not fair. I'm sorry.
  6. If I'm not mistaken about your state of residence, there is some super awesome black gunk that contributes mightily to that economic boom you speak of. Yeah. On the complete opposite side of the state. Doesn't have much effect on the job market here. Jobs here are mainly technology, healthcare, and finance. I wouldn't be so sure about that. States were oil abounds see an all over impact to the job market, not just a local impact. Besides, I bet even if your state raised taxes and regulations the businesses would stay. Especially if there is also a tech and finance job market in your city and not in the other. Those jobs are higher paying which means better paying customers.
  7. If I'm not mistaken about your state of residence, there is some super awesome black gunk that contributes mightily to that economic boom you speak of.
  8. But you don't know that is what they are buying with it. They might be buying food. They might be paying for meager shelter. And your comment about choosing drugs to solve their problems only illustrates you know nothing of addiction. Addiction is not a choice and once it grabs hold of you, you no longer "choose" drugs, they choose you. But I guess the important lesson here is you are better than them. Good to know. I hope extreme poverty never befalls you. No one should have to learn the hard way the lows a human will sink to when they have nothing left to lose.
  9. Help is not always available to those that seek it through traditional means. Many churches require membership or sobriety for assistance (as do many shelters). Which of course most people will say "join and stay off drugs and alcohol" but that is very easy to say when you aren't in their shoes. Addiction is a mouse and can't always be kicked just because you're hungry and cold and religion is, well, it is complicated for many. Food banks are great but not really setup to help homeless as many items donated require some method of preparation (or at least a can opener to open the cans). Heck in a city like mine where we take care of the poor to a higher degree than most we only have one soup kitchen. And it is only open 2 days a week. Also, you aren't supporting that lifestyle. That "lifestyle" doesn't go away when people stop giving them money. It will find a way. You are helping a person. A human. Interesting choice as a nun would be last on the list to judge the poor. My wife works daily with veterans and other folks who have fallen through the cracks. There is no shortage of veterans who need assistance of some sort to become employable again but don't qualify due to some bureaucratic technicality. Some of them are homeless. It's a legit problem and IMHO a black eye on us for allowing it to happen. I know some judgmental nuns. That's a pretty broad brush you have there, painting every nun as the same person. Then you know some nuns that are really disrespecting their vows and should have a visit with their local leadership.
  10. How is his PTSD a choice? Or are you faulting him for signing up to serve his country? What, he should have known he'd suffer from PTSD only to come home to a country that can't/won't help him and that he'd be left with a debilitating mental illness and no way to drag himself out of his situation? That's right, shame on him! He certainly deserves to be treated less than human after all, he made a choice! I'm sure its easy to sit up on your ivory tower in a place of financial security and say you made the right choices so you are well off and everyone else is at fault for their own poverty but that is blind to reality and incredibly tone deaf. From what I recall from your posts you were raised with financial security, you received a childhood of security, prosperity and good fortune. None of those were your choices. But they did set you up to make choices that aren't available to everyone. My neighbor didn't "make a choice" to be born with a severe learning disability in a country with a public school system ill equipped to handle that, and into a family that could not afford private education. Therefore it is not his "choice" that he works low paying jobs because he cannot get the education or skills to earn higher paying jobs. What, exactly, was his "choice" in being poor?
  11. You're right. He says he's a veteran. I'm sure he went to a place that looks a hell of a lot like Afghanistan, met up with people. Dressed up in costume just to take a picture and trick silly me into believing he was brave enough to serve his country. How foolish of me to believe that. Actually, I'm not sure he's ever used that word, although I have. He says he served three tours in "the desert" and "over there." But by and large he doesn't like to discuss that so we talk about other things. His family he wishes he could go home to (they resent him for not being the same), his friends that he lost track of, the things he hopes to do one day, etc. I guess its easy to assume people are just lying when you don't bother to treat them like humans. This is a person I have seen every morning for four months. We walk together for 30 minutes each day while I walk my dog. So could he be lying? Sure. But it would be rather elaborate and other than netting him a walking partner and someone to tell his stories to, I don't see what his motivation would be. Also, way to focus on that one aspect and ignore the overall point which is for some people being poor is not a choice.
  12. What town would that be in? Is there also milk and honey flowing from fountains in every park there? OK, where I live, there are help wanted signs everywhere. Our economy is booming here. And yet, we still have homeless people. It really tickles me when they're begging for money right outside a place that has a help wanted sign. In this state, being poor really is a choice because the supply of jobs is much greater than the supply of unemployed. There are, quite literally, jobs around every corner. Any type of job, there's an opening. Being poor is a choice? There is a young man who is homeless and walks the path behind my apartments every morning. We've talked a few times. I don't pretend to know his full story but I do know he is a veteran and from what I gather, he suffers from PTSD. I've asked him why he doesn't go to the VA his only response was he tried - they couldn't help. He is quite obviously self medicating to the point that no one would hire him no matter how many help wanted signs he sees. But how is being poor his "choice?" He is a victim of a cruel war, a dysfunctional VA system and a horrific mental illness. What about those that have a job but don't earn enough to get by? Maybe they suffer from some disability that precludes gaining a further education or gaining additional skills for a higher paying job. But being poor is their "choice?" Yes, some people choose not to work. Some people choose to work low wage, low pay jobs and not work to improve their lot. But some people don't have a choice. And you are not in a position to know which situation is which and shouldn't pretend otherwise.
  13. We could eliminate the deficit without cutting any spending and begin to pay off our debt if we returned to the tax policies during our biggest and most prolonged economic boom. But we won't because those who buy elections have a vested interest in us owing money outside the country.
  14. I live in a town with a lot of homeless people. Some are probably by choice, some probably lost their jobs then homes, some probably suffer from addiction. I don't know their story and I don't judge them. How do I handle them? I treat them like humans. I smile. I wish them well. I respond to their questions with kindness. I don't necessarily give them money (because I almost never carry cash) but I often will give them food or basic supplies (socks or blankets in the winter, water and toiletries in the summer, etc). There is some really callous posting going on here. I am grateful that I am not in a position to be begging (by necessity or choice) but that doesn't mean I should treat people that are in that position poorly.

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