OK, were kinda at a loss here. My husband and I rushed into marriage - quickie courthouse ceremony and I never got an engagement ring - I got a $40 wedding band.

My aunt is selling a ring/band with an appraisal of $9200 VSI 1.03 solitaire engagement ring - the wedding band is inset diamonds all around.

Shes selling it for $3,000

My husband just got his bonus check for $7,000. This money was going to go to getting me a ring, we then decided to use it to pay down CC debt (we have $11,000 in cc debt) BUT now that we have this option for the ring I want to take it.

Is this a bad decision? I mean, we can pay $7k to debt or get me a wedding ring and pay $4k to debt.

We are currently paying $1k/mo towards debt. So, if we get the ring it will take longer to PIF.

Im so split over what to do... I really want a ring and its a great deal but this debt drives me nuts. Im on Quicken daily looking at it and getting anxiety over it.

you could get the ring and sell it for a profit and pay off all the CC debt

Debt comes first. Don't fall into the trap of thinking "I can't pass this deal up." There will be other rings.

lol! nope. my aunt would KILL me. She offered it to us for that price because we dont have a ring. Or else she'd sell it for more!

This is only an opinion, and from a man. I wouldn't buy such a special item just because it was a good deal. In today's economy I think that you will have a much better feeling if you are better off financially.

If you are able to put $1000 a month towards your debt, then after it is all payed off it shouldn't take long to save for a ring, one that was chosen just for you.

MAC

"The biggest no-brainer in the history of earth." John Shibley

Pay off debt. And you can quote me on that.

So in essence its a 3 month difference for our accounts to be PIF ... if we dont take the ring now shes going to sell it for full value (or whatever she gets) Now Im just making excuses...

remember one size does not fit all. the anti-credit types will always parrot "pay off debt" but you need to be more nuanced and not one-dimensional:

you can calculate the additional interest you will pay for delaying your payoff. This will tell you how much buying it effectively costs you. It looks like it would delay you about 3.1 months. So is the ring worth $3000 plus the interest you will pay for those three months? Even if the APR is 18% you're only talking about a few hundred dollars. Only you can answer the question given what you think is best for your situation.

I didnt think about it that way Hege - So Im losing a few hundred in interest but gaining $6k in value.

one size does not fit all.

Probably a bad decision for HIM anyway. All depends on how hot you are. Or at least, how well you cook.

IMO, Dont do it!

For a few reasons:
1. Paying down the debt puts your family in a MUCH better position
2. Why is she selling at such a discount? Question it
3. Thats HER ring, I am sure you want one that your hubby selects on his own--special to you.

exactly.

you can probably very easily figure out the exact amount of interest it will cost you. Then you can make an informed decision based on what is best for you and your family.

Also, is you aunt willing to accept payments? You could effectively get a zero percent loan from her and put more of the bonus up front on the CC debt.

So you're planning to flip the ring, sell it on eBay or something? Good thinking.

But otherwise if you plan to, you know, keep it, the ring's market value is meaningless as part of the financial decision. It's pure consumption.

hmmmm....

Bree82, only you and your husband can decide what works best for your family. Life is more than a balance sheet.

1) a few hundred dollars in interest at most is not a panacea
2) of course an independent appraisal is in order
3) my spouse and I have a ring that was "in the family" because we could not afford our own when we married. Today we could afford a diamond so big to choke a camel, but because of the family connection we have not because the sentimental value is much greater than any expensive ring could replace.
4) one size does not fit all.

how is this relevant?

Well, my photos are in the general discussion area if youre that curious...

Are you really that much of a moron? It's a joke.

It was never her wedding ring, shes never worn it. She bought it for $3k about 10 years ago. She got an appraisal done a few months ago- $9200, its been sitting in her jewelry box since since she bought it. My aunt and uncle are far from hurting for money. Shes offering it to us because she loves me and knows what I went through last year (got married, lost baby, etc) Shes offering it to us for what she paid for it. But, my aunt is interesting. Shes offering it now for $3k but shes kinda schitzo as in if we dont buy now she may not let us buy it OR shell go sell it for the appraisal, etc. I dont understand her sometimes... which is what led me here.

If those last couple lines werent a worry wed pay the debt - buy the ring from her later - but with her you just never know....

This comment is inappropriate, not relevant and reflects only on you.

No need to be rude. I knew it was a joke.... thats why I told you where the photos were...

HEEEEYYYYYYY im not anti-credit!!!

I have tons of CCs, just [parrot whistle] pro-cash [parrot whistle] for lux items when there is debt.

If 2 & 3 are followed, then I can see where you are coming from. As an unmarried person, I guess I weigh more on wanting to create my own family legacy hence wanting hubby to be original. OP, if you guys love the ring for those reasons, and it is a smart purchase, I say go for it...bills will always be there!

Happy bling! bling!

WOW this thread is moving fast, trying to keep up!

Sorry for your loss, I think if the appraisal holds firm I would say treat yourself.

Take a pic and show us the bling, ill be sure to put on my shades !

no, but you need to read the TOS.

ETA: out of context it is not a joke.

will do!

are you going to buy it?

Im thinking yes. Im also thinking I may go to work a few weekends and I can pay off the CC debt faster... thats only if I have all my school work done. I used to pull in $1,000-$1500 a weekend... I just hate the job and dont want to go (I quit fully 6 months ago) but ya know Ill do what I gotta do.

Just want to add that jewelry appraisals are not all that connected to real world value. Unless the ring contains massive amounts of precious metal, if it was bought 10 years ago for $3,000 I would suspect you could buy an identical ring today for a lot less than the appraised value.

Personally, I have been in debt for so long and am so tired of the endless spiral that being in debt causes, I would not spend a penny on a ring when I could put that money into a debt, savings account or future investment. 5-10 years ago I would have in a second, but not the older, wiser version of me.

For some reason, I think you knew you'd buy it all along.

Well, I know the diamond alone is worth at least $5-7k from comparing it to others the same size and cut and clarity add all the diamonds in the band and youre up there. She did not buy the ring at a store. She bought it off her friend who was in the midst of a divorce. I dont know what she paid for it....



Well, had a chat with DH, looked at some houses (buying in Oct) and Im now not getting the ring. Ill get one later I suppose. Maybe she'll offer it to me at another time. Im kinda sad but Id rather have a house I guess.

Thanks everyone. Things were pointed out that I never thought about and will keep in mind on future purchases....

Wise decision. Very wise. A ring is just a thing. When I proposed to my wife, I gave her a 3/8 karat ring I bought from Zales for $700. Heck, I thought even THAT was too much. Anyway, I bought me a little $250 diamond band and called it a day. When we were in the process of moving from Florida to Texas, somehow, the rings got lost. We went almost a whole year without rings. A few months ago, I bought a $70 Tungsten ring off of Overstock and got my wife a $220 ring pair from Wal-Mart. We'll celebrate our 3rd year of marriage on Monday. The fact that we didn't have these ridiculous sized rings didn't make us love each other less. I told my wife that I'll probably get her a better ring at 10 years. It really doesn't matter to us.

Besides, you have a better chance that someone will rob you with that big rock on your figer. LMAO!

I think you made the right decision, and I hope that the reduction in your debt lessens your anxiety to where you don't feel like you missed out on something.

Good stuff.

Hubby has a good woman...I bet he will surprise you with something even better later on!

I didn't know about the house shopping. I would stick with the band you have.

lol. Thanks I hope so!!!



Yea, its been a back and forth discussion but I think were taking the plunge.. our lease ends in October.

How much do apostrophes cost nowadays?



Congrats on marriage and being a future homeowner. Regarding the original topic -- even though I'm kinda late to the discussion -- I'd stick hubby's bonus towards paying down debt. Peace of mind, to me, is priceless, and I can't stand the anxiety of consumer debt just sitting there. Aunt is giving a great deal to you out of love, but maybe in the future she may kick herself for not selling it for full market value and making a handsome profit. In fact, she may even bitterly hold it against you or use it as leverage in any future deals with you ("Remember that one time I..."). I dunno, just brainstorming.

Good luck.

cubic zirconia fixes all

Different strokes for different folks.

Honestly, from your postings it sounds like getting the ring will have a high positive long term net emotional impact on you and your marriage. To me that sounds a heck of a lot more than a few hundred in additional interest payments.

You know, some people are so focused on not being in debt and saving saving saving they end up being worth a lot of money when, well, when they're like 60 and can't enjoy it much. I don't subscribe to this notion, I try to strike a balance.

The ring does not sound frivolous to me. It sounds like a it's a way for your aunt to show good will, for you to feel good about yourself and her, for your husband to feel good about himself, for both of you to get over a mental hurdle and maybe create a family heirloom for future generations (think about the stories your granddaughters could tell)... who knows, maybe it will end up being the thing that tides you over the 7-year wall. If worst comes to worst, and you absolutely must, you can always sell or pawn it later. But I guarantee you won't be able to buy this particular ring again.

I'm all for people can do what they feel is in their best interest or what works for them. But if a marriage is going to be highly and positively influenced by something material like a ring, I would look at other issues that are going on in the marriage.

I think you're looking at it differently. There are not necessarily problems with the marriage or with the wife if she wants a nice ring and a bit of history. Who doesn't want nice things?

We were offered my soon to be mother in law's diamond for my engagement ring. We were going to completely skip the rings because I don't wear jewelry. Instead, we ended up spending over $4k to have it reset and get a matching wedding band, plus a new band for him. Was it worth it? You bet. It's an awesome ring but the real value to me is that his mother wanted me to have it.

Sure, I like showing it off. Who wouldn't? Does that mean our relationship needs help? I mean, I was perfectly fine not having a ring at all (or even not getting married, for that matter). I would say that it's had a positive impact, even though it cost us money we weren't planning to spend.

material? such things are not purely material. Dr Phil's message board is that way =============>

Wow. Interesting how people quickly think I'm trying to give some sort of lecture on marriages. My comment was in response to the post which states this: "Honestly, from your postings it sounds like getting the ring will have a high positive long term net emotional impact on you and your marriage."

If a material object has that much impact on a marriage, then, yes, the marriage needs help. A rock shouldn't change the fundamentals or the reasons why people get married. And it's been my experience, and yes it's totally anecdotal, that couples who focused primarily on the reasons they wanted to get married instead of having big extravagances to show everyone how much they love each other typically have stronger relationships.

If the OP wants to do this, hey great for her. But one thing everyone seems to have lost sight of. If this was something that was 100% the right thing to do for the OP there shouldn't be any hesitation on the decision. The fact that finances were brought in to the picture as a potential stumbling block should give everyone pause about whether it's just a straight forward decision.

Again, to make myself clear and so there's no misunderstanding about the context of my previous statement, my comment was directed at the post from which I quoted and in no way was it meant to apply to the OP's situation; which I would have commented directly on if that was my intent.

Have a nice day.

Ive decided to get a lab grown diamond. It is a real diamond (rather than cz) but way way way cheaper! 2ct = $400 And I will not bring politics into this thread but if you know about diamonds - thats another thing Ive factored into my decision. This idea was brought up to me by a friend and I think its a great alternative.

And no I dont need a diamond to be happy in my marriage. lol... I just want one. I like bling!

The diamond from my aunt was an idea because it was offered but Id rather pay debts - BUT now I can do both! Aint life grand?!


ETA: My husband is the most awesome person Ive ever met. I was a very lucky girl. He was 40 when we married and when I joke about him 'forcing' us to get married he tells me "Well, I waited 40 years to get you - I wasnt about to let you go!" Hes so sweet. I dont need a diamond, its something he wants me to have... hes actually the one that brought up to my aunt the ring again recently which led me to make this post.

This post is very touching on multiple levels. I'm glad that you have something that many people aspire for.

Did this job happen to involve a flight to vegas and a little dancing? Or did you practice law on weekends?

Sorry, I couldn't help it. Just wondering how making 1000-1500 a weekend and hating it could possibly go together...

I doubt you were the only person thinking that. I was too.