My girlfriend and I recently found out she's pregnant. We're excited and were planning on this next year after got married anyway, so it just speeds up the timetable a bit!

I'll be moving home to my parents house until December/January when we move in together. She's got a lease on a place until then in the city that's only a few miles from her work with all of her friends, so she'll be there until the end of the year. I stay with her a few nights a week anyway.

I want to save $10,000 and get my credit scores in the high 600s at a minimum, but that's another thread!

My current bachelor pad costs over $1,000 a month, so that money will go right in the bank obviously. I don't owe July rent.

July 1000
August 2000
September 3000
October 4000
November 5000
December 6000

That's easy enough! I owe $1600 to my college still... I want that paid off.

My monthly expenses are...

$291 - car payment
$175 - car insurance
$200 - gas

That's it! My parents are not making me pay rent or buy food, which is really nice of them. I'm sure I'll still spend ~100 on restaurants and another 50 or so on groceries for me.

$150 - food

So far we're at $816 a month. I take home roughly $3000 a month after taxes.

3000
- 816 (bills)
--------
2184

2184
- 1000 (old rent being saved)
--------
1184

Let's say for fun/entertainment and incidentals I'll put aside $200 a month for that. I think that's fair enough. In August I'll need more because we're going on vacation (already paid for), but it'll even out.

So now I'm at $984.

Now I have a lot of old stuff I want to sell. 22" LCD monitors, computers, computer parts, Jeep parts, electronics, cell phones... I figure there's at least $1500 there. I bet it's worth closer to $2500 but I want to be conservative.

That takes my savings to $7500.

Now back to the $984. Let's just be safe and call it $800.

In two months I can save that and pay off the rest of my college stuff. Poof, gone.

I guess I'll save as much of the $800 as I can after that barring expenses. These are low estimates again.

July 0
August 0
September 500
October 600
November 500
December 0 (christmas!)

Total: $1600

Total savings: $9100

That's where I'm stuck. But I'm really not. I'm a web designer and pick up freelance gigs throughout the year that I didn't count in my $3000/mo. I'll save every penny out of that I can. I'm also going to refi my Jeep when my scores improve and should cut that payment by a LOT.

So that's my plan. Any critique? I sure could use it!

Sounds like you are saving quite a bit. $9100 in less than a year is great!

Any particular reason you feel you have to be at 10K? I took 6 weeks unpaid maternity leave and that certainly was not a 10,000 expense!!

Thanks, I should be able to save closer to $12k, but I don't want to kill myself for it. Picking up one freelancing job could be anywhere from 2000-10000 alone so this is in addition to that. I figure I can pick up 2-4 a year.

I just want to have that much money in the bank... She has to finish school and I'll be the sole income until she does. Our area is pretty expensive and covering the bills alone will probably be around $2600 a month. When she finishes (baby in February, she'll finish in June/July), she'll be making $50,000 at a minimum, so we'll be pretty secure then. I just want to be comfortable for those months when I'm the only one bringing in any money! We might be dipping into savings every month until she does, so I want to have a nice secure amount in the bank.

Of course our parents have told us both that they'll help us out, and we have a million friends for her baby shower (she's having two!) so we'll get a lot of stuff for that as well. We'd rather not rely on our parents though... we're both pretty independent and hard working.

Wow sounds like a great plan, and congrats on the two, plan for many diaper, wipes, did i say plenty diapers. no need for clothes in the first months just onesies.

Thanks CJ. We're really excited. Love her to death and it's really a blessing.

Can I ask you though, how much a month did you spend on diapers/wipes/food etc?

Mike everyone will want to shower with cute, useless little gifts. Just let them know from the start that you would rather have diapers or moneycards to purchase diapers and the things that you will really need. everytime someone from work gets pregnant, we have a diaper shower. That way we know that we have purchased something that will really be used and help with the budget. Congrats, sounds like you have alot of support from both families

Congratulations!!

Two words for you, my friend...cloth diapers. Seriously!

To diaper a child with disposables from birth to potty training will run you in the neighborhood of $3000 or more depending on brand (not to mention contributing 8-10,000 dirty diapers to your local landfill - yuck).

Comparatively, a supply of cloth diapers to last you the same time period: $200-500 - yes, TOTAL - and an average of 2 extra loads of laundry a week. And they are SO not your parents/grandparents cloth diapers, let me tell you. I personally use these www.bumgenius.com on my DS and I will never, ever go back to regular disposables. These are probably one of the most expensive cloth diaper brands out there and I bought my entire "stash," which are adjustable in size so that I can use them the entire time until DS potty trains, for around $600.

Feel free to PM me if you want more diapering details...I'm a cloth diaper evangelist!

congrats mike!

i have a 2 month and 3 week old boy. now, someone said onesis, YES!! get them. don't go crazy on name brands. we went to carters and walmart for the gerber brand.

diapers will go quick. just get one box on newborn for each of the two. they grow pretty quickly. then you might need to buy one or two of the stage 1.

I haven't done this, but i need to join a costco or sam's club.

oh and wipes, we buy the huggies brand in a box of 3XX wipes. it's about 10 bucks.

The diaper boxes will run you between 20 and 25.

Please, beg your fiance to breast feed. I wish mine had done that but it was too painful for her. the formulas are 25 bucks for the 24.9 oz. they go quick as they start to grow. mine is chugging down one of those every 4 to 5 days (i think).

so far your plan sounds great but i would probably leave only 100 for entertainment and not the 200.

congerats again and good luck!

Congratulations! It sounds like you have a very good plan in place to get $10,000 saved.

When I was pregnant I picked up a pack diapers in size 1-3.

Sign up for all the babies freebies you can! There are quite a free out there.

As far formula, Walmart has the parent's choice brand which is good and a bit cheaper than the brand names. My dr said it is the same thing.

Wait until after the baby shower

As far as liviing with your parents, even though they are not asking for money make sure you do stuff around the house like mow the lawn, etc. It's hard being an adult going back to living with the parents.

Good luck!

All I have to say is, utilize warehouse clubs in your area (Costco, Sams, etc.). I bought a box of 234 diapers, size 1 & 2 for $30 for my friend's baby shower. Personally I would wait after the baby shower and buy items according to weekly needs. My 6 cents though.

2. I think its a doable plan. Plus, you can put your money into a high interest earning saving account to also bridge that gap (like ING Orange Saving account 3.00% or SmartyPig.com 3.90%, just to name a few)

Good luck, Congrats and welcome to the crazy world of parenting!

Thanks for the congrats everyone! Really appreciated!


That's a great idea. We're going to register at Target for stuff that we need like stroller, crib, etc... I'll just put like 100 diaper boxes on there


I mentioned this to the better half and she was like, "Where our clothes are going to go? Ew..." I dunno... I'll do some more research!


We're definitely going to be buying clothes at Target at least for a little while... no sense in getting lots of expensive clothes when the baby will be outgrowing them every month or two. I'm sure she'll sneak in a few cute, more expensive ones too for trips to her parents house

Definitely need to join Costco. There's one within a few miles of where we're going to live. Like five miles!

She's definitely planning to breast feed... thankfully!!

I think it'll be okay to budget for $200 for entertainment, I'll have at least one freelance job coming up that would cover my entire entertainment budget till the end of the year. If things get tight that'll be the first to go though. My gym membership is included in that too.


We've already decided that coupon clipping and hunting for deals will be fun. We pretty much do that anyway... I think we enjoyed finding the best deal on our vacation in August more than some dates we've been on... It's a hunt! We'll also have Costco so that takes some of the fun out of it... But heck I'm on CB, you know what kind of guy I am!


Yep good advice again on the warehouses... Costco will be a way of life!

Waiting until after the baby shower is a good idea. I'll probably do that for most things. She's going to have at least two baby showers... one with friends, one with college friends, one with families... We're talking probably 60+ girls at all of these. She has a lot of friends I bet we get a few things...

Do you think that opening an account for the 3% on 10k is worth it? I'll need that money to be somewhat accessible to me... I'll run the numbers and see what I'd gain over my 0.00001% BoA savings.

Thanks again for all the congrats everyone You all are awesome!

I'll second the cloth diapers...much cheaper in the long run. Also breast feeding instead of formula. Cheaper and it makes dealing with the diapers much less stinky.

A word of caution if you do use disposable diapers. Don't go crazy just buying one brand because there may be a chance that the new baby can have a reaction to one or more brands. My grandson can only wear huggies. Luvs and pampers break him out. Congrats and good luck~

Oh yes here is my other 2 cents worth. She can apply for WIC that will pay for the formula or her food to breast feed. She should apply now since she is still considered a single household. Also if you use the cloth diapers, it will only be for home. most day cares and sitters will NOT accept cloth diapers. Just food for thought!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats again

Double congratulations.

We're in a similar situation (engaged and pregnant) but already have the house. You didn't mention wedding plans, but let me tell you those can get out of hand in short order. And we're doing a destination wedding with no guests.

I'm not sure how you guys plan to divvy up the expenses beforehand, but she'll have plenty of prenatal doctor visits and vitamins and new clothes. (And NO, it's not just an excuse.)

I've heard we can expect a lot of cute, impractical gifts, so our registry has only useful stuff on it. I'm getting a ton of stuff from a friend who was recently pregnant, so that helps a lot. (She also helped us with what was necessary and what was just marketing crap.) We're looking at resale shops for things we don't get. However, car seats should probably be new. And you'll need one to leave the hospital.

The idea of cloth diapers is too repugnant to me, so we'll be doing disposable. Anyone who feels strongly enough about it to pick them up daily and wash them is more than welcome. There are diaper services, but I'm not letting those nasty things fester in my house until they come by. However, if you do decide to do them, you can put them on your registry and beat the bulk of the expense. (Be sure to put laundry detergent on your registry, as well )

Does she get maternity leave with her job? Do you get paternity leave? Who's going to watch the baby while she's at school?

Congrats to you too! How old are you? We're both 22. House already is a huge plus!

We're going to do the wedding after the baby... She doesn't want to be "fat" and get married. Lots of reasons and I understand all of them.

We have a joint checking account that pays for all of the baby-related expenses.

We talked car seats the other day. Still don't know if we'll get one or two...

Definitely doing disposable too... Same reasons.

She's not working right now, she'll be out of nursing school in the spring. I get paternity leave, but I might look for a new job this fall. Just doesn't pay enough here and I'm a little overqualified. Still undecided about that one. I'm pretty sure if I'm willing to wait and look long enough I can find one that pays about 20 more a year than I'm making here. I found this job in four days so my field is hiring... I'm going to try and find a job I can do from home.

We're really lucky that we won't have to pay for child care. My mom doesn't have to work and has already happily told us she'd love to watch the baby whenever we need. That will save us thousands while she finishes school.

I assume she means sharing a washer? Heard that before, lol. I'm going to quote a perfect response from another cloth diapering mom on my favorite message board on the subject:

"Poop in the washer? We've never had a problem with it and I've been CDing for almost 2 full years. In my experience with sposies (disposables), I had just as much poop going into the washer from all the leaks on their clothes. Your washer's job is to wash things. You put other gross stuff in the washer in the form of underwear, kitchen rags, washcloths, etc and you trust the washer to get it all clean. Same goes for diapers. When your baby starts solids, you will dump/shake/spray off whatever poop you can into the toilet and then the diaper goes in the pail. EBF poo is water soluable though and you don't have to do anything with that before it goes in the pail."

Definitely check out the site I linked if you're seriously consdering CDing and need more "ammunition" for the GF.





Not necessarily. Some will, some won't - you just have to ask. I interviewed three home daycares for DS and all of them were open to it. Both of DS's grandmas use them, as does my "date nite" sitter. It's just a matter of putting the dirties in a separate bag instead of in the trash, especially with the modern ones that go on as easily as a "sposie".



Oooh, car seats, my other favorite subject (I'm working on getting my car seat tech certification before the end of the year). What you do is get one "bucket" style and a spare base for the second car. Now this is just my two cents, but don't pay extra for the "bucket" version that goes to 30 pounds instead of 22, and here's why: the main benefit of the bucket is convenience for getting baby in and out of the car and carrying him/her around. Once he hits about 15 pounds or so, you're not going to want to lug around an extra 15 pounds of carseat anyway. So get the smaller one and save your money for the next seat which your child will ride in for 3-5 years!

Did you factor in the higher cost of the family health insurance plan? Going from single to family can easily double or triple the cost. There will also be at least co-pays for the doctor's visits.

Well, I'm 35 and he's 39, so we're a bit behind the curve. It does mean we've had a chance to build up stable careers that pay decently.

I totally understand the fat part. My fiance refused to be the only one in the photos, though, so we're having a 'do over' after I lose the baby weight. And it's a small point these days, but I wanted my child to be legitimate. You might consider getting married at the JP before Feb, then having the big ceremony later. It is different though, so if that's not important to you and there's nothing like the insurance to consider, then wait.

Speaking of insurance, my doctor will bill me after I deliver and whichever insurance I have at the time will determine how much it is. They based our payment plan on my current insurance, so we'd have to crunch numbers to figure out if it makes more sense for me to go on his or stay on mine. Everything resets Jan 1, though, which means new deductibles and possibly different coverage amounts, even if I stay with mine. (I'm due Dec. 25, so we're hoping for this year...) If you don't have insurance at all, they'll want you to start paying soon and then credit you back if insurance picks up part of the bill.

We're getting a 'travel system' which is the infant carrier, a stroller, and car seat base. The carrier fits into both the stroller and base, and you can get multiple bases. The stroller can be used without the carrier, so we'll just need a new car seat after 22 pounds (which I hear is about a year). It is a big stroller, though, so you have to keep your trunk size in mind when picking one out.

A job with more money would definitely be helpful, but try not to start around her due date. You'll want time off and be so tired it will be hard to learn the new job. If you work from home, make sure you have an office you can close the door to. I work from home and we're going to try it for about 6 months until he becomes mobile. I think it'll be too hard after that to keep up with him AND do a decent job. Unfortunately, we're not so lucky to have someone nearby who can help out.

laura,

the travel systems are the best! we got ours at walmart. it's the whinney the pooh version from graco. then we added the base for 30 bucks. well worth it. my little one loves it when he is going hysterical. as soon as we put him on the car seat, he clams down. he know we are going out for a stroll or a ride in the car. then he just falls asleep. go figure.


mike,

health insurance is something to look at too mike. you guys should be looking at it right now. i added my little one to my plan instead of mommy's.

we too are not married yet, same reason as yours mike. so far you guys have your head straight! i applaud you for that. good luck all the way.

i wanted to add a congrats to you too laura.

unfortunately my edit button wasn't avail.

Congrats!

This post struck my attention since I recently found out that I am pregnant (like officially on Monday but I took four e.p.t.s over the weekend that all came back positive). So my fiance and I have totally been caught off guard. We have been engaged since January 1st this year and have really been procrastinating when it came down to wedding planning but due to the recent news, we have opted for a very small, private ceremony at my church in about a month followed by dinner at a local restaraunt. We originally had plans of definitely purchasing a house by the time our lease is up which is April next year and my tentative due date is mid-February 2009. So now we are working on building up our savings more so that we can hopefully be in a house January 2009 (even if it means breaking the lease...hopefully our landlord will be lenient...she's a realtor). Our parents are giving us cash for our wedding gifts (in the tune of at least $3K total so that'll go towards the house fund). But there is so much to consider and this post has been a huge help in pointing out factors I hadn't considered.

Health Insurance
Right now we are each on individual health plans at our jobs, and will likely remain that way until the baby is born. It's cheaper for me to pay $50/month and him to pay his $40/month versus $200+ for a family plan when it's only the two of us. But I suspect that we'll just switch to a family plan at one of our jobs for all of us come January or so. Which one is something that we need to discuss.

Co-Pays/Vitamins/Miscellaneous
Yeah these add up nicely. I haven't had my first offical appointment with my OB/GYN as of yet but I was advised by my primary physician to purchase some over the counter prenatal vitamins which I did and they cost a nice $25 for a 30-day dosage. So considering the co-pays, vitamins, and food cravings that I have been having, I am adding at least an additional $100 a month onto my budget. Then clothes...I currently own some tops that I could probably get away with through my 1st trimester and maybe part of the 2nd trimester but I have considered a clothing spree is definitely in the future. Target and JCPenney look to have some nice items that are reasonable priced.

Baby Items/Day Care
As far as baby items are concerned, I anticipate at least 3-4 baby showers (one for the FT job, one for the PT job, my church, and family/friends). I expect to receive tons but this post has brought some attention to what items I really need to consider on my registry (practical items).
Day care won't be an issue because like the original post, my mom stays at home and she's agreed to keep our child while we work...she has done it for my two nephews as well...so that's a huge help but gas expenses are going to increase because she currently lives 22 miles from where we live now but the community we're considering purchasing a house in is about 15 miles from where she lives as well as about 15 miles from our jobs. But my fiance plans to switch his shift from 2nd to 1st shift so our job schedules will be more compatible and we can ride in one car versus two cars.


There is so much to consider with the recent news. Right now I have been feeling tired and my jobs (the FT and PT) allow flexibility in my schedules so I am trying to consider what's the best schedule for me. Also, my jobs allow materninty leave...I currently have about a month worth's of sick leave saved at the FT and about two weeks at the PT (yes my PT has benefits including 401K which I contribute to) and if need be I am considering taking a couple of weeks of leave without pay. My best friend advised me to look into disability insurance because some cover maternity leave. I am not certain about paternity leave for my fiance but that is definitely something I am going to mention to him.

But I apologize for taking over the original post AND for being so lengthy! ( ) But there is so much to consider during this time.

before you buy anything for the baby, may I humbly suggest the book : Parenting Inc.

It will open your eyes to what your child really needs (VERY little IMO) and what we are told we need


Congrats! You've received great advice in this thread and I can tell you're focused and ready and you'll be just fine!

Congratulations to you too!

Moving will be hard. You're not supposed to lift anything over 25lbs or paint or most of the things you need to do when you move. It will be easier before the baby's due, though, because he's easier to watch then. I will tell you that 'mom-nesia' is real, so write EVERYTHING down. The whole house and moving thing by itself is hard enough when you don't have to focus on a wedding and baby, too.


You'll have an opportunity to change it when you get married, during your normal annual enrollment, and when the baby's born. We're keeping mine at least until the baby's born because we're only looking at $300 plus 15% of ultrasounds. He has a $1000 deductible on his. My premiums jump way up with family coverage, though. (For him only, it's $10/month, but he can't get the family rates until he's ready to change. We'll look after we get married, but it probably won't be worth it for just me to switch.)

Hopefully your baby is healthy, but I'll bet there are still lots of doctor's visits.


Look at Flintstones vitamins for kids. They should have everything but the iron. My ob/gyn gave me samples, so I don't think I have to actually fill my prescription until the 3rd trimester... You will need more food, but only about 300 calories a day. Those cravings will get ya, though. lol Motherhood Maternity has some cheaper stuff, too. I couldn't find much at our Target. I believe Gap or Old Navy have maternity stuff online. Look for the belly band, though. It lets you wear your pants and skirts unbuttoned (it's just a stretchy tube you wear over the top).

Resale shops are also great. A lot of that stuff just does not get used much, so you can get it almost brand new for way less. I did splurge for a silk top that I absolutely loved. I can wear it after though. I imagine I'll need something to help me feel pretty, too, when I look like a beached whale.



I was exhausted for about 2 months. I would literally sleep all night and take two naps during the day. Accept any help you can get during that time.

You can take up to 90 days unpaid leave with FMLA. I'm not sure you could get short term disability coverage now, because pregnancy is a preexisting condition. Can't hurt to look into it.

Are you planning to breastfeed? I've read that if you introduce a bottle too soon, it can become problematic, so it might be best to stay home as long as possible. The PT job would probably be easier to go back to. You might also be able to go part time with your FT job, for awhile, too.

There certainly is a lot to consider.

What I found I did not need (you may be different): crib (she refused to sleep in it anyway), changing table (pad on the bed), cute (and difficult to wash) baby clothes, huge elaborate baby carriage, too many toys
What I found useful: baby carrier (like snuggli or bjorn), onesies, huge washcloths, high chair (eventually), baby undershirts that snap on and don't have to be put on over head.

It's good that you are laying out all the plans.

An on-line savings (I use HSBC (3.5%) and WaMu (3.3%) will definitely make a difference on that $10,000 you're saving--sign up now--you can set up to transfer when you want from your checking account--and you can get debit cards for the savings in case you need to access the funds at any time.

I used disposables will all my children except the last. DH though it would be a great thing environmentally. That may be true--but the things stink. They are pain in the diaperbag when you have to change one if you're out. My daycare would use them, but I don't think alot will. I had to put rubber pants on over them usually--so there was no leakage...and the diaper is wet against baby's skin--while the disposable will absorb a certain amount of moisture into the diaper away from the baby's skin--and there's nothing that looks worse than that irriated red bottom.

Also--don't forget to sign up (and budget) for your Lamaze classes soon (you guys should be starting about the 7th month), but you have to sign up before. The information and techniques is invaluable. (I'm a Lamaze instructor )

Be sure to thank both sets of parents for their support--and do something sweet for them. Not everyone has that kind of help.

Keep the wedding simple--close family and friends. It will still be a special event for you two...and if you love her like you say you do--do it before the baby comes. (Okay--I'm old-school). Good luck to you all.

Not trying to completely derail OP's thread, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you had a negative cloth diapering experience because mine has been 180 degrees opposite in every respect - I've NEVER had a problem with inconvenience, leaking or irritation, in 14 months. Do you mind my asking how long ago and what kind of diapers you used?

Guys feel free to derail

IMO some useliess gifts are too cute! We had a baby shower for a co-worker and it was a mixture of practical gifts and some cute ones (which makes it fun) a room packed with diapers and onesies is not my idea of a baby shower.

Anyway, I used supermarket brand diapers for my two children and they worked really well and they both have sensitive skin.

I also nursed for a very long time, it saved a ton on formulas that I now need for a breast lift (just kidding)

Congratulation, children are so much work so I encourage you to get as much rest while you can. They are also such a blessing and people magnet. I had two girls back to back and people on the street often said how they "grow up so fast" all I wanted to say was "not fast enough for me!" My oldest just completed 5th grade and had her graduation this week, I cried the entire two hours of the graduation. Really savor the early years because they do grow up fast!