It seems that no matter what my DH & I do we are always back in the same boat. Two years ago we downsized from a 2000sq ft. home to our 980sq ft condo renting out the home. My DH is a real estate appraisal but not certified yet so he makes an average of $1500 a month less all his gas, & expenses since he is a sub-contractor so figure about $1000 for household expenses a month. I am a police dispatcher making $900 take home biweekly. I do have a 401A thru my job where I put 6% & they contribute 12% which is great but we are barely making it. I live in Miami, very high cost of living here. We have $20k in credit card debt which I play with by transferring to business credit card accounts w/0 interest for a yr & so on but we still owe $20k. It seems that everytime we pay off our debt it creeps up on us again. We don't live lavishly, our cars are paid for, our condo has a very low mortgage but still we can't afford anything. We have $3300 in an ING savings & we have not put anything in for months. Now I started my real estate career, which I know it's hard but I will do my best to make it. My DH can't seem to pass his certification class so he is not moving up. So we are always in the same situation. I am so fustrated with our lives, we are planning on putting our house on the market & invest on another property out of Florida & paying our bills & keeping cash on hand. But it drives me crazy to see that at our age (42) we are barely making it. I was self employed for 8yrs before coming into the police dept. but I had to make this move for the benefits offered. I make a budget every month but nothing seems to help me! I am so tired of all this that I just feel like putting the budget aside not even looking at the credit card bills & just relax! My DH & I had a big fight about it last night because I am the one who worries about everything & does all the money allocation. He has no clue of anything & even if he were to look at the bills, like I said has no clue of what to do. Everything falls on me. I am very fustrated! We purchased a pre-construction condo near my job, it takes me an average of an hr each way to get to & from work, for a great price but the way things are going I don't even know if we are going to be able to afford that. We have not even saved any money since we downsized. Any suggestions????? I hate to live like this!

That's how it seems to go, save a buck and a new expense promptly crops up that costs ..exactly a buck....

I hear what you're saying. At 42 I was in Bankruptcy court having finally thrown my hands up on trying to dig out of a hole that just seemed to get deeper with every payment.
We should be doing things like saving for retirement or to help out the kids and grandkids at 42, instead we're worrying about keeping the lights on and the house heated.
I guess my point is, I had to file BK to get my feet back on solid ground. I'm no longer treading water, I can save now, the future is actually looking bright again!
What is it that YOU need to do in order to break away from your economic problems? Are there expenses that need to go away? Money getting lost in small unaccounted expenses? Just plain not enough money coming in? Something is standing in your way...what will it take to clear your path?


Your DH may or may not take an interest in the numerical part of the finances. That happens a lot, one spouse is sharp as a tack on the money issues, the other seems sort of oblivious to it. It can make you feel resentful because you're the one worrying about how things are going to get paid while the other kinda takes it for granted. Extra points if the spouse gets mad at you for being "worried all the time". Haha. BTDT.
Took me a long time to realize my DW was every bit as worried about money as I was, she just expressed it differently. While I was staring at bills and grabbing the calculator and checkbook, she was finding ways to cut the grocery bill, cut the electric bill, bring in more income... neither of us really noticed what the other one WAS contributing, only noticed what we were doing on our own. Maybe you both are really on the same page when it comes down to it, just not working the same angles?

Let's find the root of your money problems, and come up with a plan to attack! At 42 you may be treading water--at 44 you can- and will- be ahead of the game and saving. Just need to find the problems and fix them.
So, for starters, what do you have left over every month? Anything? Nothing?
Have you ever kept track of every penny you spend for a month or two?
That may be a way to find money that's getting "lost" in your budget.
Any expenses you can chop?
Any way to increase your income?

Two quick things:

1.) Zpcsc, I TOTALLY relate to your situation, the sleepless nights and the constant feeling that no matter how hard you try you're still falling behind. But don't you worry! Just post more of your specifics that Radi8 asked for. You'll have plenty of helpful suggestions to get you through this. Remember, you are not alone!

2.) Radi8, what a fantastic post. You really are a terrific person and you always give excellent advice. Just wanted to say thanks for helping everyone on this board (me included!)

zpcsc - Don't give up. There are a lot of kind, caring and helpful people on this board. Respond back wiith more information and answer some of the questions radi8 asked. Radi8 is very intelligent and really cares.
I will remember you in my prayers.

Thanks for the replies. We sometimes go out to dinner, nothing fancy maybe $50-70 & 2x a month, if that. This use to be expensive but at the way things are going this amount it's a simple meal. We can't cut further expenses, in today's world you need the cable or satellite you need the cell phone & you need the computer. We have the best plans to fit our needs on the above, satellite we even cut HBO when the shows we like end for the season. I know that our main problem is that we don't make enough. As mentioned, I started real estate got my license & I am excited. My job at the police dept is 12hr days w/a lot of days in between so I will take advantage of that. I am in training now & will do my best to make some extra income. My DH is trying to get his certification, but he has been trying for the last year & no luck. He loves doing the real estate appraisers but I am at the point that if he can't move up w/that it's time for him to move on to another type of job. He is very different from me & after 10yrs of marriage I am seeing how different. I set goals, he does not. I took the real estate course dedicated myself full strenght, didn't even give myself time to speak to any of my friends during my studying & passed the exam 1st try! He is the opposite. I know he worries he has told me he gets depressed but we both have to figure out what to do. I also think that I make it easy because I always pay the bills on time & figure things out so he has never been in a bind. I use to run our company & learned how to juggle money. I know if it would not be for the $20k we owe we would have extra money but the extra goes to $50 here $100 there for those credit card bills. Once we sell our house we will pay these off but then what? I just hope things do change for us because it's so hard to live like this. Some of us care & others don't about our financial situation & I am one of those that drive myself insane trying to figure things out. I think of paying more towards our debt but then we are left w/nothing for entertainment. How do you guys manage that? Should you send more or the minimum in this situation, should you put it in savings or pay the credit cards? I have seen posts where some of you advice if the interest rate on cards is 9% & the savings 5% to send it towards the card? How about when you have introductory rates as 0% for a year?
Thanks.

I don't have much money management advice, but just wanted to let ya know I know how ya feel. We've been struggling to survive on just DH's income for almost 10 years and it is not easy. I still have 2 years left of nursing school (and I can't even go back to school for probably another year) so we have a long time before we'll get some real relief with me working.

We hardly ever spend money on entertainment. Especially in the days when money was really tight, we had to get creative and find things to do that don't cost money. Small things like packing a picnic in the park or watching the sunset together are good ways to start. Or even adopting a hobby that you both can do together.

Maybe consider dropping the cable down to just the basics. I know how hard it is to give it up but it's one of those things that really are a luxury that we get way too accustomed to.

MEAT???

HAD SOME STEAK FOR DINNER ON MONDAY

HAMBURGERS TONIGHT

We are kind of in the same boat right now, but we have 2 mortgages, and one home is for rent.
I know how hard it is to have one spouse oblivious, and I am not that spouse.
My DH snowboards, surfs and goes dirtbiking while I stay home to firgure out this mess of bills.
BTW, we owe about 7K in 0% ccard debt, and the new 0% offers have stopped, and we have been current on the 2 mortgages, and all bills, so, FWIW, try to pay them off ASAP.
We have resorted to cashing out vacation time and sick time at work to pay off the ccard debt, just an idea I have just thought of.
Good luck, and be grateful you are selling the home to reduce debt!

No offense to your hubby, but it really sounds like he needs to get certified, change jobs, or take on another one. At 1500 a month, he's only bringing in 18k a year gross. With self exployment tax and his other overhead that you mentioned, there has to be something better he would like. Could he moonlight doing home inspections or something along the same lines?

You mentioned that you rent out your home and live in your condo. Do you have a stable renter in the home? Is it paying off for you?