How do you handle finances?

Together works for us. We married 26 years ago at age 23 when neither of us had anything and we built a life together. I can imagine situations where it would be important to keep finances separate -- for example, if one spouse has obligations to children from a previous marriage -- but otherwise I think it's good if a couple can see themselves as a team and work together on finances and everything else.

Together. We've had separate accounts in the past but it was just more of a hassle than anything else.
All of our income goes into one account. From that we pay the household bills and expenses.
From what's left over, part goes to savings.
The rest we share for stuff we want to do.

This is a second marriage for both of us. My first husband spent everything he made and more, and maxed out his credit cards. I kept my finances separate as a matter of self-defense. My current husband is a dear man who is much more frugal, but I brought the bulk of the assets into the marriage. I also enjoy managing finances and investments and he doesn't, and I'm a bit of a control freak.

I pay almost all the expenses out of my income since he's semi-retired. He gets Social Security and income from a small business and he does whatever he wants with that money. Every once in awhile he gives me the excess to invest. In general he knows what we're invested in, but doesn't care about the details.

Everyone should have at least some assets not in a joint account. If one partner on a joint account dies suddenly, the account is "frozen" by the courts and you have to jump through some hoops to get money out of it.

This works very well for us. I know some people think that separate finances are a sign of disaster in a marriage, but I heartily disagree.

Together. I manage all the money, so it's easier this way. We still have some old CC accounts in separate names, but those cards are barely used.

I PAY ALL THE BILLS FROM A JOINT CHECKING

BOTH CHECKS ARE DIRECT DEPOSITED

SHE HAS A "TOY" CHECKING ACCOUNT (ONLY IF NEEDED)

99%+ GOES ON AMEX DELTA and/or UNITED VISA

HER BACK-UP CARD IS CAPITAL ONE M/C

CREDIT CARDS...

A COUPLE "JOINT"

MOST INDIVIDUAL WITH "AU"

A COUPLE OF INDIVIDUAL

We have both joint & individual accounts. At some point we'll probably eliminate the individual accounts, but I don't know when. As long as there are no secret accounts and all obligations are taken care of, it doesn't matter IMO.

OH NO SHE HAS SOME SECRET ACCOUNTS I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT!!!

I'd be curious to hear if the joint/seperate varies based on whether or not both spouse's are employed fulltime.

Joint accounts, both employed full time.


And no extra post for you.

we're joint too and both employed fulltime. I generally deal with the bills but we make investment choices together.

(and you better type faster )

We're both employed full-time.

LOL @ George

DH employed Full Time..I'm currently in school Full Time no employment.
I'm AU on his cards he's not on mine.
Only reason I'm AU on his is if there's a problem I can call and talk to them.
We have one bank account with both of our names and I have 2 or 3 accounts that's just mine (not much money in them yet thoug .

DH employed Full Time..I'm currently in school Full Time no employment.
I'm AU on his cards he's not on mine.
Only reason I'm AU on his is if there's a problem I can call and talk to them.
We have one bank account with both of our names and I have 2 or 3 accounts that's just mine (not much money in them yet though .

not that there is any significance but most of the couples i know that separate everything are either on the verge of getting a divorce or have already been divorced. one couple i know... they are so daggon unhappy and they are still together. when the wife told me her husband owed her $2500 i was floored. i was like umph umph umph. anyhoot.

We do the joint thing & both full time..

Both checks direct deposit & I pay the bills.. We each have an allotment of $50/pay period going to savings account & an additional allotment going to our TSP, mine is $100/pay period, DH's $75/pay period..

We did separate accounts when we first got married since we both had accounts established at different military credit unions.. We went joint when we ETS'd in '98 and had opened some joint credit accounts together..

Whatever is left, well, that used to be fun money

Of course, come May '06, the xtra will go to diapers/daycare & the like

Uugghhhhhh... I can't stand hearing stories like that.. I have a friend who was married to a man like that.. They had separate accounts and if he gave her any money at all, he wrote it down in a book.. She told me at one point that she owed her husband over $3K.. I was astonished

Needless to say, they were divorced about 6 months later.. I have no clue if she ever "paid him back".. I sure would have

Married almost 15 years.

We have joint for bills. I have a separate account for my business. We both have direct deposit.

I do all the bills.

He is active duty.

I am now part time military(was active duty), I also work part time(self employed) and next month will be in grad school.

I bet that the second- already been divorced is a big reason for separate accounts. Particularly if the spouse had been financially buried by their first marriage. Round #2 they want a little bit of protection.

I'm a firm beliver in having everything joint. The only thing we have separate are out 401k's and IRA's because it's required by law. When the preacher says "and now you are one" this should include finances IMHO. The story about "oweing" your spouse money is rediculous...
Before we were married we had separate accounts and it was a PITA to keep track of who was paying for what. After we got married and combined finances it was MUCH easier !!! i don't understand how people who have kids together keep thier money separate, "You pay for diapers, I'll buy the food" would get old REAL quick.

BTW:
1: Been together since 4/2002 (married 4/2003)
2: Both work full time until we have kids
3: We were both broke and in debt when we got married

This thread seems eriely familiar to the prenup thread posted a while ago. I'm not married yet but have thought long and hard about this issue along with pre-marital assets. It's not easy when every person you date has by far substantially lower assets and income earning than you do. Most people I've seen here that have their finances seemed to have started at the same economic level. Which makes things really easy when you accumulate them together. I don't see many cases where people who have had either spouse with substantially higher assets or income earnings be so quick to share the finances. In my case, how do you reconcile the risk factor of about $650k in assets?

zx10, the best thing I can think of is make sure the woman you marry will be a lifetime commitment. If you have to date for a long time before you are 100% sure, so be it. Still, I understand why you would be cautious...

As a widow now I come from a different point of view.

My husband and I always had seperate finances, both employed fulltime though he made a bit more then I.


When he died I was VERY thankful we choose to do our financial life seperately.

For what it is worth we were NOT on the verge of a divorce, we loved each other very much, I was just too independant to make our finances joint and now I am glad I stood my ground..the headaches that widows/ers face when finances are joint are too numerous to mention.

My situation was similar to yours. First, my husband and I met in a theology class a year before my divorce so we got to know each other as friends before he even knew what I made or what I had. We also dated for 6 years- I never wanted to date anyone else but needed some breathing space after a bad first marriage. He never accumulated much because in his life he'd had a daughter who was chronically ill with a lot of uninsured asthma expenses, a 1+-year period of unemployment during which he paid child support, and a previous relationship with a woman who needed to be bailed out of occasional financial mistakes. But, he had zero debt other than his mortgage and had simple tastes. So, I knew how he handled money and what his attitudes were about it. I didn't get a pre-nup although I'm sure he would have signed a reasonable one. I'm happy to say, 2 1/2 years into the marriage, my instincts have proven me right. He loves the things we're able to do, especially the travel, but if it all went away tomorrow I think it would bother me more than it would bother him.

SOME "JOINT"

SOME "INDIVIDUAL"

SOME "AU"

WORKS FOR US...

100% "JOINT" HURTS F.I.C.O. AT TIMES (BOTH OF YOU)

EVEN "AU" HURTS F.I.C.O. AT TIMES (BOTH OF YOU)

SAY YOU GET A 0.00% BT FOR $25,000 YOU MAX IT OUT

IT HURTS YOUR SCORE SAY -20 POINTS

YOUR JOINT/AU CARDHOLDER PROBABLY WILL COST -20 POINTS ALSO

WRONG BUT A FACT

we have seperate everything and are not on the verge of divorce- my husband had a child at 15 and has paid dearly for it- they have taken every asset has had and sold it including his only car- therefore if everything is my name they can't touch it.

in fact his daughter is 13, he had paid over 25,000 in child support from garnishment or willing pay however they claim he still owes 50k. my dh only makes 25k a year so they will be waiting a long azz time.

i have a child from a previous relationship and his father didn't pay for 6 years and still misses many payments but he is only 25k behind my husband only missed 1 year of payments. so backwards - saw an attorney on friday- well mr. father of 3 boys your out of luck.

we will not have joint accounts until his obligation is gone- then we will DEFINITELY joining up because boy would paying bills be easier!!! 2 checking accounts 2 savings and all the other crap is a pain in my rear!

I like having joint for bills but separate for everything else. This works well for us. And we aren't on the verge of divorce either. We even have all but 1 CC separate.

I only had a problem paying HER "INDIVIDUAL" account with US BANK

ON THE PHONE when it was free to do so

NOW THEY CHARGE FOR THAT!!!

WAY MORE THAN STOPPING AT THE BANK (even though it is out of the way to my house)

THEY TRIED TO TELL ME THAT I COULDN'T PAY HER BILL!!!

I ASKED FOR A SUPERVISOR AND DEMANDED THAT THEY SEND HER A LETTER THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO PAY HER CREDIT CARD BILL ON THE PHONE

THE SUPERVISOR LAUGHED

I WAS ABLE TO PAY WITH-OUT ANY PROBLEMS TILL THEY STARTED CHARGING A FEE

DH and I have been married since 1995 and we are not on the verge of divorce and have some seperate accounts.
We don't do the you owe me money crap..our money is our money, who ever needs it has access to the other's account..it's just seperate.

My friend who has been married for upteen years has always paid bills seperate..She has the utilities etc and he has the mortgage and car notes. It works for them....though I find it funny

We get some people who have 2 carts and pay for their own stuff...

THAT IS JUST WRONG!!!

They came in the same car...

They live at the same address...

They are married...

I think whoever said that couples who separate their money are either on their way to divorce or have been divorced is making a hugely inaccurate assumption. That's just plain ridiculous.

DH and I have kept our finances separate for 6 years. He has a list of things he pays for (groceries, dinners out, electric, cable, phone) and I have a list of things I pay for (mortgage, cars, insurance, credit cards). We usually break even on the amount we spend on bills each month. Basically, we chose to do this because we have very different money management skills. I like to balance my checkbook EVERY DAY, while he has never balanced his in his life and relies on his ATM statements to know how much money he has. I like to pay with credit cards (for points), and he doesn't believe in credit cards (If we tried to combine into one account, we would drive each other crazy.

This doesn't mean that we "keep tabs" on each other, though. If I need some extra money one month, he gives it to me. If he needs extra money, I give it to him.

By no means are our finances perfect (as those of you who have read my other thread about overspending already know ), but I can honestly say that my DH and I have NEVER had a single "fight" about money. I don't know many other couples who can say that, seeing as how money is often cited as the most common thing couples fight about.

What works for one couple may not work for another...and what's working for me & DH now may not work 10 years from now & we'll switch. We don't do the "I owe you, you owe me" crap...household expenses are paid out of the joint account, everything else out of our separate accounts. I know the info to access his accounts if necessary & vice versa, not a big deal. Each couple has to work out for themselves what's amenable to them, regardless of what somebody else thinks about it.

LOL @ George...are you serious, separate carts? That's special. But it's working for them, I guess.

We fight occassionally about money. It's joint, and our styles are a different in some ways. I'm also not working, so that makes a difference though. It would be silly to "separate" things when he's working and I'm a SAHM and full-time student.

we have been married for 7 months. Currently we have separate accounts but in 1 week we will have joint. I will still have a separate account but he will not. It's going to be a big change for us.

We have joint accounts, but he is primary on one checking account, and I am primary on the other checking account. His check is direct deposited into one account, mine is directed deposited into the other account. I keep both checkbooks, and we both have debit cards for both accounts. No real mystery why we do it this way. When we moved to this area, we kept our account at our old bank and it stayed that way for a couple of years. But when you want to get some cash or deposit a check, it isn't real convenient when there is no local branch. So I had my dh go open up a local account and arrange for his check to be deposited there. Now we have easy access to a bank. I would just give up my other account, but I have had it all my life (savings and checking) and it is a good credit union!

Joint accounts across the board.

Both have jobs.

DH and I don't really do joint accounts or even AU on most accounts. We both work and we have a business .DH had a previous divorce and 2 children with his ex, but that isn't the only reason why we choose to separate our finances.

My mom always told me that a woman should always have something of her own in reserve. (I think that was around the time that you really started seeing movies about abused wives) I have always siphoned money and placed it in an account in my name. However, this isn't a secret from my DH. It really is more like a backup savings account for our family.

Several years ago, we were placed in Checksystems erroneously and had a heck of a time getting out (4 months) We had a joint account then and neither of us could open a new bank account at that time. Not having an account was a nightmare! Since straightening that out, we have never had a joint account. I have a portion of my paycheck deposited into DH's checking account for bill paying and another portion goes into my checking account. We each have investment accounts and savings accounts and I manage them all.

With credit accounts, we have found that unless you are trying to repair your credit, it makes more sense to keep your accounts separate. Why tie up 2 credit reports with the same bill. It also allows you to hide debt by passing it back and forth with a BT. By doing this, we are able to get twice the amount of credit that we would have gotten if we had joint applied. For us, the one exception is an Amex that we charge all of our monthly expenses to. We rarely use a debit card. We each have access to all of eachothers accounts.

The main checking & savings acct is joint.
Money market acct is joint.
I have my own savings acct. (from before we were married)
Husband has his own savings acct (from before we were married)
Retirement accts are seperate of course.

It's always been that way, even when I worked full time (now, I stay at home cuz daycare ate up all my check!) It will remain the same when I go back to work next year.

We work together on all aspects of our finances.

The DH and I have always had a joint checking/savings account, both of us are AU's on one anothers CC's, been this way since we were engaged. Both of our paychecks are direct deposited, I handle all the bill paying and finances...DH is happy to have it that way! LOL

Pretty smart advice! Happy New Years!!!!!