Please help!! I am 55 years old and going through an unexpected divorce after 27 years of marriage. My husband and I have split the credit card debt equally. My question is..... I see all of these offers on the internet for "Debt Elimination", "Debt Relief", etc., that promise some of your debt can be eliminated without having to remortgage your home which is my biggest concern. I have checked into the possibility of bankruptcy and don't really want to go that route. Life is hard enough right now for me without ruining my credit on top of everything else. Can anyone recommend a safe way to get some help. I am current on all of my monthly payments but after credit, mortgage and household expenses are paid I have $150.00 left per month for food and gas. I commute to work so that gets to be expensive. Please give me some advice or send me in the right direction.

Thanks!!!!

I'm not being mean, but why did you agree to split the debt equally if you knew it was going to cause you such hardship? Is there any way that this arrangement can be changed?

If not, stay away from Internet *debt relief* programs (if it sounds too good to be true...). My recommendation is that you concentrate on getting your debt at the lowest possible interest rate...take advantage of balance transfers if you can...that way, you could possibly lower your payments and if not, more of your payments would be going towards the principle.

How much debt?
How much is your annual income?

I agreed to half of the debt because my husband is willing to sign over our home to me (mobile home). Also, I make more money than he does. My annual income is $34,000. There is credit card debt of $20,000. I also have a mortgage payment and car payment. When my husband first left I got behind on one of my credit card payments and they raised my interest rate to 30%. The other cards that I have are 14%. I know that I am in a mess and not sure what to do about it. I realize that I need to find a second job. I do not want to do a home equity to consolidate bills because I will be paying on that forever. Sometimes I think that is a trap. I have contacted a couple of the CC companies to explain my situation to see if they could lower my interest rate. Their solution was to offer me a hardship defferment plan for $38.00 a month for two years and then start making payments again. All that time of course the finance charges would be adding up. I realize this mess is partially my own doing (financially, not the divorce). Just thought I might be able to get some good advice from someone who might have been in a similar situation.

Can you still afford the house? The house payment should be around 25% of your take home each month. If it is more than that, it may be a good time to look at selling the house and getting something you can afford (even if that means renting).

If the car is significant, you may want to look at selling that too and getting a used car of lesser value. (One that still gets the job done, but is not costing you a lot each month to pay for, insure, gas up, etc.) If you're upside down, just keep in mind it is better to owe the bank $2k instead of $20k.

Next thing to do is to get on a written budget. Spend the money on paper before the month begins. Food should not be paid after CC's. You should pay food, house, and utilities first. Once you're on a budget, it will be easier to pay down that debt. Make sure you budget for everything that will come up throughout the year!! (Car repairs, gifts (save a little each month for yearly gifts, repairs), etc.)

Here's a great place to start with money-saving ideas.

http://creditboards.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=52305

The people on this board are great at pinching a penny till it screams! it doesn't mean you need to have an existence devoid of all life's earthly pleasures- you just need to find all the places your money is "leaking" and not giving you anything useful in return. I agree with the suggestion that you may want to sell the mobile home. Unlike houses, mobile homes depreciate. But, obviously you need to look at what you'd get for it compared to what you owe, and what it would cost you to live elsewhere.

It may seem like the end of the world at this point, but it isn't. I was divorced at 43 and married a wonderful man 2 years ago at the ripe old age of 50. Life can get better after divorce- really.

I hope you mean gross not net.

I meant gross income. A good rule of thumb is that PITI (principal, interest, taxes and insurance) should not exceed 28% of your gross income. Borrowers nowadays will let you borrow 30% or even 40% - they don't care; they just want your money. If your mortgage creeps much higher than a third of your income, you'll end up house poor!