This is long, so thank you in advance for your patience while reading. I'm new here and I've read through most of the threads here on the board, but haven't found exact answers for my particular situation. Feel free to chime in at any point.

Here's my story:
(it's part nightmare, and part cautionary tale for anyone else thinking of burying your head in the sand as I did)

I went to a private university for 5 years, with some scholarship money, some Pell Grant money, and A LOT of student loan money, with my last semester ending in spring of 1991.

Most of my student loans were federal, I think, and a couple were through the state of Texas. I seem to remember Texas Guaranteed Student Loan and Hinson-Hazlewood on the correspondence. It's the federal ones that are biting me in the ass.

I think I owe about $45,000 (it was about $30,000 in 1991, if I remember correctly) and I have no idea how to begin to paying it all off. I think I've hit bottom financially and I cannot keep ignoring it, or trying to run away from it.

My wages were garnished once about eight years ago for a year and a half, until I left for another job. It hasn't happened again but I'm sure that's because I haven't stayed put anywhere for longer than two years. I haven't seen a tax refund in about 10 years. My car loan interest rate is 17%, and even my car insurance is sky-high despite a pristine driving record and a "boring" car (no sporty coupe, just a 4-cyl. station wagon) because I have awful credit. (I live in Texas, where insurers can use your credit history to determine your premium rate.)

I was laid off in January and so many times when I fill out applications, I see that prospective employers require authorization for a credit history. I've not landed anything yet and I can't help but wonder if my credit history has played a part in that, though no one with whom I've applied has explicitly said that's why I was rejected.

Of course I don't have any credit cards other than a gold AmEx that is a secondary card on my parents' account, and a Visa-branded debit through my bank. I get "pre-approved" notices, but they're not really, as I find out when I get a rejection letter in return for mailing in the "confirmation" letter. (I only send in one of those about once a year, just to see if I can qualify.)

On a personal note - and not that it's a problem now but hey, it could be in the future - my debt is a major strike against me in how it reflects upon me personally to a boyfriend/fiance/husband, in terms of mortgage rates, shared credit/financial matters, renting an apartment, etc. I mean, I know I'd be reluctant to be involved seriously with someone who had demonstrated the irresponsibility that I have.

No immediate plans to buy a house or condo (and how could I, with no job? ) but - maybe someday - I will, either alone or with my spouse. I must start working on this student loan/credit history mess sooner rather than later.

I haven't communicated with any of the loan creditors in many years, though I've periodically received letters from the Department of Education and a few others.

I have a few questions.

1. How, exactly, did some of you start digging yourselves out?? I'm pretty much paralyzed. These loans have been with me my entire adult life and I feel backed into a corner due to my own stupidity. It seems like an enormous amount of debt - it IS an enormous amount of debt - and I had no idea what I was getting myself into - or under. All that registered at the time was that I was signing some papers and getting to go to college.

2. I started college in 1986 when I was 16. Is there any chance that some of the loans I took out before I turned 18 could be construed as invalid since I wasn't not an adult? My parents didn't sign as cosigners then.

3. Do student loans ever just "drop off"? I remember years ago hearing that if you didn't have any contact with the lender (phone, written, etc.) that the loans could come off after seven years. Contact the lender/creditor before the seven years is up, and the clock starts ticking again. Is that true?

4. Could I get any relief from declaring bankruptcy? I also seem to recall that student loans (mine are of federal/state origin, not from private lenders) can't be included with other debt in a bankruptcy, but I thought I'd ask, particularly since the bankruptcy laws are about to change.

5. What do you recommend as first steps? Who do you contact first? Should I get a copy of my credit report somewhere? Would that be the most helpful way to determine my loan amounts and creditors?

I'm 36 years old now, and some of these loans are from 20 years ago. I've been in serious debt most of my life.

I'm terrified that the payments will be more than I can afford. In 1992 or so, I tried to rehab or consolidate (can't remember which now) and the payment amount quoted to me was so outrageously high and scary that I didn't pursue it ($620/month) and have not done anything about it since. And no, I couldn't get them to budge on the amount, even though I provided them with a monthly budget/expense worksheet. (I was only earning $13,500/year then.)

I realize I need to do something... but what? I can't go on like this any more.

Thank you.

With your income right now, it is not likely you would be able to qualify for rehab. However you could consolidate with Direct Loans which will bring your account current. http://www.loanconsolidation.ed.gov/borrower/borrower.shtml You would be eligible for the "income contingent repayment plan"...basically your payment is geared to income. If you have little or no income, your payment would be zero!