25 replies to this topic

[Echo_X]

I have an idea. They think that this is good punishment? How about we make them go through it.

[luckydriver]

i think they need to come up with a list of permissble child punishments so there's no confusion for anyone in the future.

[cljohnr]

It doesn't really outrage me, though I wouldn't do it personally. Public humiliation is a powerful motivator, especially for school kids. This set of parents chose picking up trash in a depends, others have chosen standing on a busy street wearing a sandwich board sign, others post facebook entries. I don't see that she was in any physical danger.

As far as considering making someone wear a funny outfit and pick up trash a "good punishment", it's both common and accepted in out society:

[Tigz]

There is a big difference between wearing a billboard sign and what they did to her.

[Up4anything]

my kids will have whatever hair-style I dictate, until they are 18.

Additionlly, putting her in a diaper is hardly abussive.

though I, personally, don't agree with the choice in punishment, I applaud their involvment with their child's education and for follow-through. I think it is ridiculous the police were involved.

Until I was older, I thought it was my parents' parental duty to embarass me.

[Echo_X]

There is a difference between embarrassing punishments and emotional rape. I love that I keep hearing people say "well I wouldn't do that to my kids but.." YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO YOUR KIDS BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS MORALLY ABOMINABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A CHILD! Psychological abuse and molestation are as damaging, if not more damaging then physical abuse and molestation. I will tolerate no argument that it is not.

If a bully at school had done this to the child, people would be losing their minds. The fact that it was done by her own parents, the people who are charged with keeping her safe from the monsters of the world, doesn't make it more tolerable, it makes it unforgivable. It is wrong, it is sick, and I just hope that the children were removed from the environment before lasting damage could be done.

Edited by Echo_X, 16 May 2012 - 04:34 AM.

[cljohnr]

There is a difference between embarrassing punishments and emotional rape. I love that I keep hearing people say "well I wouldn't do that to my kids but.." YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO YOUR KIDS BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS MORALLY ABOMINABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A CHILD! Psychological abuse and molestation are as damaging, if not more damaging then physical abuse and molestation. I will tolerate no argument that it is not.

If a bully at school had done this to the child, people would be losing their minds. The fact that it was done by her own parents, the people who are charged with keeping her safe from the monsters of the world, doesn't make it more tolerable, it makes it unforgivable. It is wrong, it is sick, and I just hope that the children were removed from the environment before lasting damage could be done.

I hear getting kicked in the nuts while having someone sing lullabies to you hurts just as bad as getting kicked in the nuts while you're being cussed at. Nevermind that there's nothing in the story about getting kicked in the nuts.

Any parent would be angry if a bully at school spanked their child, or took their child's allowance, or took away their child's iphone or 3DS. None of which has anything to do with parents having and exercising their rights to do any of these things.

[Fallon]

There is a difference between embarrassing punishments and emotional rape. I love that I keep hearing people say "well I wouldn't do that to my kids but.." YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO YOUR KIDS BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS MORALLY ABOMINABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A CHILD! Psychological abuse and molestation are as damaging, if not more damaging then physical abuse and molestation. I will tolerate no argument that it is not.

If a bully at school had done this to the child, people would be losing their minds. The fact that it was done by her own parents, the people who are charged with keeping her safe from the monsters of the world, doesn't make it more tolerable, it makes it unforgivable. It is wrong, it is sick, and I just hope that the children were removed from the environment before lasting damage could be done.

I hear getting kicked in the nuts while having someone sing lullabies to you hurts just as bad as getting kicked in the nuts while you're being cussed at. Nevermind that there's nothing in the story about getting kicked in the nuts.

Any parent would be angry if a bully at school spanked their child, or took their child's allowance, or took away their child's iphone or 3DS. None of which has anything to do with parents having and exercising their rights to do any of these things.

[road2freedom]

It's sickening to think of the emotional effects that will have on the child for years to come. It's sounds like it's not the first time it occurred so you would think they know it's not an effective method of parenting. I don't understand why parents choose to demoralize and embarrass instead of finding ways to encourage or teach them good habits. Granted, I'm making assumptions that they have not done so in the past, and maybe I'm a bit idealistic... but this just doesn't seem very effective to me.

[cashnocredit]

Heck, i always thought it was a kid's obligation to embarrass their parents. the other way around is weird.

[orangecrush]

I haven't read the article...

Most of you would be rioting, if you took your kid for a haircut and someone told you it was abuse, because the kid didn't like the haircut. It being a punishment, makes it no different.


ETA: I read the article. I am not bothered by their actions at all. She should stop getting bad grades. I would leave her ass in foster care. Let her see how she likes that.

Edited by orangecrush, 17 May 2012 - 07:27 PM.

[Nemeweh]

Sweet Baby Alien.

I think most of you who say you have no problems with this "punishment" are either full of poop or really need to go have yourself a psychological evaluation (OC you know you do, so stop arguing!).

Shaving a child completely bald then forcing them to wear an adult diaper (which most of you wouldn't do even when you eventually do need them because they are "so embarrassing") all while running down the street in front of the entire neighborhood??? You have lost your ever-loving minds if you see no difference between that and say the mom who had her son wear a sign saying he lied and made bad grades.

The first is borderline psychotic; the second is forcing the child to tell the truth about his/her own behaviors.

Should the girl have been punished for the bad grade? Of course. But usually taking away privileges, restriction and such is more than enough. It's not like she harmed anyone else or anyone else's property by failing a class.

I'd be all for heating up the child's backside (and only the backside you silly nutters - save the cannings and sweet tasering for crimes that actually warrant them) over this kind of behavior. But hey, teaching your kid to bully, and demean a kid is a great way to teach them how to parent. Ya know, maybe we can go ahead and teach them how to toss acid on themselves and call that "punishment" too.

[Nemeweh]

There is a difference between embarrassing punishments and emotional rape. I love that I keep hearing people say "well I wouldn't do that to my kids but.." YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO YOUR KIDS BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS MORALLY ABOMINABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A CHILD! Psychological abuse and molestation are as damaging, if not more damaging then physical abuse and molestation. I will tolerate no argument that it is not.

If a bully at school had done this to the child, people would be losing their minds. The fact that it was done by her own parents, the people who are charged with keeping her safe from the monsters of the world, doesn't make it more tolerable, it makes it unforgivable. It is wrong, it is sick, and I just hope that the children were removed from the environment before lasting damage could be done.

Sometimes you make me want to drive to Georgia and give you a big ol' hug.

[Achillia]

I have some experience here:

• I raised two successful daughters and spent many a night working with them on their homework;
• I taught writing in prisons and noticed (gee!) that almost EVERYONE I taught experienced extreme abuse and humiliation from their parents. (Funny isn't it? Abuse doesn't lead to success! Who would have thunk it!)
• I now teach at risk children in high schools and know a few things about: learning disabilities and how to work with them; the effects of positive reinforcement, success counseling, and especially peer mentoring; the positive effects of the denial of privileges and other distractions (this works best though if the whole family is together on turning off the TV and the internet); and (most important of all) how utterly destructive and hurtful family violence and humiliation can be to a child that age.

Come on guys: you really think you can say that forcibly shaving the head of a 12 year old is just a "haircut"? Do you think we are morons? Don't pee on me and try to tell me it's raining. If this child was not clinically depressed and anxious before this incident, she certainly is now. Fifty people gathered to watch, and (almost) nobody reached out to help her. She will carry those emotional scars for the rest of her life. This kind of treatment does NOT lead to academic achievement or emotional health. It DOES lead to more problems later on. I have seen plenty of tiger mom strategies in my day, but that is NOT what this is. It is abuse. This is incompetent parenting.

I hope the parents get the maximum sentence and permanently lose custody. This child's chances in foster care are a lot better than with her family. Luckily, thanks to ADA, she will at least get the help she needs from the schools.

[Achillia]

" I would leave her ass in foster care. Let her see how she likes that."

See, remarks like this are what really tip me off as to what is really going on here. You sound really, really angry. You sound like you hate this child. It is hard for me to hear this and believe that you care about what is best for her or what will help her to succeed in life. You sound like you really wish her ill.

Take a step back. May I remind you that this is a TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD?

The good news is that I think she may find that foster care is an improvement on her home environment. It sounds like the parents have been in trouble before, and that her mother's boyfriend has a police record and a history of violence. I have a number of kids who are in foster care, and they are doing really well. I hope this child gets the real help that she needs, heals emotionally, and find good strong advocates and friends who will look out for her better interests with compassion and care.

As for the parents: If they do prison time, they are going to be in for a rude awakening. In the women's prison at least, inmates do not take kindly to people who are in jail for hurting their children. Most of these women are separated from their own children, miss them terribly, suffered abuse from their own parents, and I know what kinds of things tend to trigger them or set them off. They were laughing and joking in the police car. I doubt that they are laughing now. Maybe they will learn something from this.

[orangecrush]

" I would leave her ass in foster care. Let her see how she likes that."

See, remarks like this are what really tip me off as to what is really going on here. You sound really, really angry. You sound like you hate this child. It is hard for me to hear this and believe that you care about what is best for her or what will help her to succeed in life. You sound like you really wish her ill.

Take a step back. May I remind you that this is a TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD?

The good news is that I think she may find that foster care is an improvement on her home environment. It sounds like the parents have been in trouble before, and that her mother's boyfriend has a police record and a history of violence. I have a number of kids who are in foster care, and they are doing really well. I hope this child gets the real help that she needs, heals emotionally, and find good strong advocates and friends who will look out for her better interests with compassion and care.

As for the parents: If they do prison time, they are going to be in for a rude awakening. In the women's prison at least, inmates do not take kindly to people who are in jail for hurting their children. Most of these women are separated from their own children, miss them terribly, suffered abuse from their own parents, and I know what kinds of things tend to trigger them or set them off. They were laughing and joking in the police car. I doubt that they are laughing now. Maybe they will learn something from this.

Your entire post tips me off that you are an idiot. You claim to be a professional, yet you post on a public board that someone "hates" a complete stranger. To top it all off, the person you are posting about is a complete stranger. Yeah. I can see exactly why people have such a low opinion of many teachers.

[orangecrush]

I have some experience here:

• I raised two successful daughters and spent many a night working with them on their homework;
• I taught writing in prisons and noticed (gee!) that almost EVERYONE I taught experienced extreme abuse and humiliation from their parents. (Funny isn't it? Abuse doesn't lead to success! Who would have thunk it!)
• I now teach at risk children in high schools and know a few things about: learning disabilities and how to work with them; the effects of positive reinforcement, success counseling, and especially peer mentoring; the positive effects of the denial of privileges and other distractions (this works best though if the whole family is together on turning off the TV and the internet); and (most important of all) how utterly destructive and hurtful family violence and humiliation can be to a child that age.

Come on guys: you really think you can say that forcibly shaving the head of a 12 year old is just a "haircut"? Do you think we are morons? Don't pee on me and try to tell me it's raining. If this child was not clinically depressed and anxious before this incident, she certainly is now. Fifty people gathered to watch, and (almost) nobody reached out to help her. She will carry those emotional scars for the rest of her life. This kind of treatment does NOT lead to academic achievement or emotional health. It DOES lead to more problems later on. I have seen plenty of tiger mom strategies in my day, but that is NOT what this is. It is abuse. This is incompetent parenting.

I hope the parents get the maximum sentence and permanently lose custody. This child's chances in foster care are a lot better than with her family. Luckily, thanks to ADA, she will at least get the help she needs from the schools.

You are so full of it that I honestly don't know here to start. Your definition of abuse may not be the same as another's definition of abuse. So, to make a broad statement that "abuse" does not lead to success is kind of dumb.

You are diagnosing someone as being clinically depressed. You are claiming that she qualifies for help under ADA. All based on an internet article and no personal interaction with her???? Did you go to the Dr. Phil School of Charlatans and Phoney Psychoanalysts?

Do you think we are morons?

I don't think we are morons. Just you.

I have some experience here: I am a successful daughter...

If a shaved head isn't just a haircut, then the military, many private schools and other institutions have been practicing abuse for a long time. Until she is 18, she doesn't get to decide how she wears her hair, unless her parents approve.

Edited by orangecrush, 22 May 2012 - 04:17 PM.

[TheBanker]

I'd be afraid to contemplate what my parents would have done to me, had I gotten bad grades...

This seems like cake walk compared to what my parents would have come up with, lol.

[orangecrush]

Sweet Baby Alien.

I think most of you who say you have no problems with this "punishment" are either full of poop or really need to go have yourself a psychological evaluation (OC you know you do, so stop arguing!).

Shaving a child completely bald then forcing them to wear an adult diaper (which most of you wouldn't do even when you eventually do need them because they are "so embarrassing") all while running down the street in front of the entire neighborhood??? You have lost your ever-loving minds if you see no difference between that and say the mom who had her son wear a sign saying he lied and made bad grades.

The first is borderline psychotic; the second is forcing the child to tell the truth about his/her own behaviors.

Should the girl have been punished for the bad grade? Of course. But usually taking away privileges, restriction and such is more than enough. It's not like she harmed anyone else or anyone else's property by failing a class.

I'd be all for heating up the child's backside (and only the backside you silly nutters - save the cannings and sweet tasering for crimes that actually warrant them) over this kind of behavior. But hey, teaching your kid to bully, and demean a kid is a great way to teach them how to parent. Ya know, maybe we can go ahead and teach them how to toss acid on themselves and call that "punishment" too.

1. I would wear an adult diaper now, if it wouldn't reek of laziness.

2. So what if she wore a diaper in front of the neighbors? Was she naked otherwise? If she has lived in that neighborhood long enough, they have probably seen her in diapers before.

3. Don't even try to act as if you allow you kids to dictate their haircuts and such. If you told your kids that they were shaving their heads, you would expect them to bring you the clippers and keep their mouths closed.

4. So spankings have no psychological effect and don't teach violence and such, but a shaved head and a diaper do?

[Nemeweh]

Sweet Baby Alien.

I think most of you who say you have no problems with this "punishment" are either full of poop or really need to go have yourself a psychological evaluation (OC you know you do, so stop arguing!).

Shaving a child completely bald then forcing them to wear an adult diaper (which most of you wouldn't do even when you eventually do need them because they are "so embarrassing") all while running down the street in front of the entire neighborhood??? You have lost your ever-loving minds if you see no difference between that and say the mom who had her son wear a sign saying he lied and made bad grades.

The first is borderline psychotic; the second is forcing the child to tell the truth about his/her own behaviors.

Should the girl have been punished for the bad grade? Of course. But usually taking away privileges, restriction and such is more than enough. It's not like she harmed anyone else or anyone else's property by failing a class.

I'd be all for heating up the child's backside (and only the backside you silly nutters - save the cannings and sweet tasering for crimes that actually warrant them) over this kind of behavior. But hey, teaching your kid to bully, and demean a kid is a great way to teach them how to parent. Ya know, maybe we can go ahead and teach them how to toss acid on themselves and call that "punishment" too.

1. I would wear an adult diaper now, if it wouldn't reek of laziness.

2. So what if she wore a diaper in front of the neighbors? Was she naked otherwise? If she has lived in that neighborhood long enough, they have probably seen her in diapers before.

3. Don't even try to act as if you allow you kids to dictate their haircuts and such. If you told your kids that they were shaving their heads, you would expect them to bring you the clippers and keep their mouths closed.

4. So spankings have no psychological effect and don't teach violence and such, but a shaved head and a diaper do?

1. We've already established over the years that you are indeed, certifiable. FL address gave it away.

2. It was an exercise in humiliation, for the purpose of humiliating her into making better grades. Not how I would have handled that kind of situation at all. Im also interested in what the girl's other grades looked like. Over reaction much? Yes I think they did.

3. I actually do. I feel as though hairstyles are one way for kids to feel like they have some sort of control in their lives. I speak the truth about my opinion, but always allow them to go with what they like. Well, that's 90% true. I did make the boy cut his hair short this last year because he kept doing the hair-twirling thing and getting his fingers tangled and ripping his fingers out along with a great deal of hair. He's stopped for now and can grow it down to his butt if he wants (or not). so long as he doesn't go back to making bald spots again. I think parents that freak out about hair styles are dumb. (No offense to anyone I hope)

4. Earlier you mentioned that the Army/Armed Forces shave new recruits down and it's not considered "abusive". Actually the purpose behind it is indeed meant for an abusive purpose. It's meant to break down that individual mentally and emotionally. All their thoughts, the way they process those thoughts, their moral and social mores etc., etc.. They then proceed to build them back up into what they (armed forces) want. A Soldier. One who has the ability to think on their own and make good, military decisions, but who can also fit into a unified group with the least amount of effort. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, the Military knows the psychological effects of shaving a person's hair off? That perhaps they know that it serves the purpose of alienating the person to their old life and also gives them a common factor with the other new recruits? And yes, I do believe spankings have an element of abuse. You are physically causing pain to a person much smaller than you. You are intimidating that person, physically to gain a mental hold over them. Honestly though, if you do it right, you wont need to be constantly beating your kid. I haven't spanked my DD in over 14 years. DS, it's been about 6 months... but he is maturing and won't require them much in the future. Until he reaches that point I guess 90% of all boys do when they reach that point where they think they can fight their Dad (at about 17'ish it seems to be.). Sucks for DH. For me, not so much.


Anyways, you get my point, and I think deep down you agree with me. If it was "just a hair cut". Say the kid dyed her hair some color her parents thought showed her support for Satan. Or styled it in a style the parent's thought made her look sluttish... I could see your point. But this was just ishtty parenting by people who obviously fail at it.

ps. I would love to see a video of you trying to tell Ugby what she is gonna do with her hair. She will have The Cat cut you smooth. You know this.

pps. It's not nice to call new people names. They're new and obviously have no idea you are insane. You should be gentle with them when they're GF virgins.

[Fallon]

Everything's abuse these days. And each generation continues to have less respect for adults, authorities, hard work, etc.

[Nemeweh]

Everything's abuse these days. And each generation continues to have less respect for adults, authorities, hard work, etc.

You're killing me. Seriously.

[brazen]

Everything's abuse these days. And each generation continues to have less respect for adults, authorities, hard work, etc.

You're killing me. Seriously.

You too?

[Nemeweh]

Everything's abuse these days. And each generation continues to have less respect for adults, authorities, hard work, etc.

You're killing me. Seriously.

You too?

Yes! I would love to see what would happen if he tried to cut Thing 3's hair. Mmmhmmm. She'd eat him alive. Whipped he is, as he should be!

[canyoncat]

I'm all for shaving of the head. All I know is that I had an 18 yr old boy that was ungrateful, self centered and heading down a bad path. A couple of months later the Air Force returned a fine man who was polite to his mother and apologized for being an ass.


Works for me.

I don't know if I'd have done that to a daughter (shaving and diaper wearing), but I did once drive my 9 year old to the really, really bad part of town and told him to get out of the car. He needed to understand that he was living a life of privlege and stop whining about all the things he didn't have that he thought he "needed"